Come and Gone

Another Christmas has come and gone. It was a good one. I was at home from Tuesday till Saturday. That's a long time for me. I have a hard time making the adjustment from having my own space to having people around all the time. I actually get somewhat anxious. It's hard to explain. It's not that I don't like being home - I love it. I just have to learn to better adjust to change.

But let's talk Christmas. The best part of Christmas is buying people gifts. I truly love it - one of my favorite things. The morning started off wonderful...I woke up and was told I could like the bowl of brownie batter. Heavenly. I got a lot of stuff this year. I was going to take a picture of it all BUT since I already put everything away I'll just write a list of what I got instead of taking it all out once again. It was more than what I deserve, and I appreciate everything. Be ready for a long, lengthy list: Sony speakers and alarm clock for my iPod, Digital picture frame complete with pictures reminding me of some awesome times, a duffle bag, water bottle, pajamas and related, sharpie markers, pens, toilet get!, a picture of a house (thanks Cory), A "ski day", Season 3 of One Tree Hill, digital camera, camera case, wireless headset for my cell, under armour long johns, sweat pants, hoodie, presentation mouse, fire starting matches, hell's kitchen for the wii, Quelf, bath poof, memory card, bag, and dishes. My grandma got me a towel with my name stitched in - I love it. I also got some other stuff from other gatherings.

After three days of Christmas festivities, it's nice to finally have some down time. Today was actually the first time on the holidays that I've really just relaxed. It felt good. Tomorrow my mom is venturing to the city - it will be good to have company again. On Tuesday I leave for Minneapolis and am very excited. I hope the weather is favorable for driving, or I will be very sad. Get to watch the Sharks play on New Years Eve! Can't wait.

The reality that school starts again in a week makes me sad. It's going to be a busy couple of months and I just hope that I can keep it all together. I don't want to dwell on it too much now because I do have a few days to enjoy before snapping back to reality.

I owe thanks to a lot of people this Christmas. I know I'm not the easiest person to be with, but somehow there are a bunch of people who are willing to put up with me. I appreciate each and every one of them: Mom and Dad for all that they give. They would do anything for us but more importantly are there to share in our joys and lessen our worries. To Cory who always has a way of making me smile and laugh. In his own quiet way he always manages to brighten my day. Christine who is one of the best people to have fun with (even times I can't remember). Things wouldn't be the same without her. My Grandma who has the best, and funniest, insight into every situation. She entertains me and means the world to me. And to everyone else just for being there.

Time to make a packing list. I hope the weather holds out. Please.

Christmas Eve

I made it till Christmas without a chocolate advent Calendar to remind me just how many days there were to go. I guess that I am growing up. I came home yesterday. It's been a busy week and I really haven't relaxed yet. But I suck at relaxing so this is for the better.

Monday I braved the bitter cold air and thick mobs of stressed shoppers to get my own Christmas shopping finished. A major part of being able to enjoy shopping at this time of year is taking plenty of time to mentally prepare for the stresses that I knew that I would encounter. I didn't set time frames on any errand as I knew that there were many factors that were changeable. Despite traffic jams in the parking lots, turning lights that are too short, and long walks in the frosty temperatures, I was able to enjoy myself. I was successful and it really got me more excited for Christmas. It was a day-long event and the evening was spent wrapping. Wrapping is always enjoyable though. It's systematic, and I like systems.

Yesterday I loaded up my car, which took more than a handful of trips, and headed home. I was treated to supper from my wonderful parents and then proceeded to the arena to watch Cory play hockey. The game was stressing, but like always, I coped and enjoyed myself.

Today I was greeted in the morning with a lovely migraine. They seem to make themselves known during the times when I finally take time to unwind. Holidays wouldn't really be complete without a pounding head. I don't mind though. It serves as a reminder to relax. A migraine is the worst of my health worries, meaning I have it amazingly good. After a healthy sleep I went to town with my mom to finish up some grocery shopping.

I decided I would cook supper this Christmas Eve. Tradition used to have it that Cory and I would make pizza on Christmas Eve. That was long ago, when home was the only place he had to be. I miss those times, but change is okay. We have grown up, I guess that happens. The food has become more sophisticated too. I made some wrapped chicken with vegetable fried rice. Me and my dad had Garlic and Cheese Hot dip with flat bread for an appetizer. Yum. It turned out. There are two good things about cooking at home. First, there are people for which I can cook. Second, there is someone to wash the dishes. That makes the whole job that much more enjoyable. We just finished playing Wizard. I lost. I hate losing, but I guess I can really only do better next time.

As I sit at home and complain about being bored I am reminded that bored is a good thing. I really appreciate having now worries. I have my family with me who have shown me what it is like to be cared and loved for. We are healthy, able to laugh, and enjoy one anothers company. I know that there are people who aren't able to enjoy Christmas because of the situations they are forced to deal with. Time is precious and shouldn't be taken for granted. I hope for a moment of peace and hope for all those people who are dealing with unfavorable situations. As I greet Christmas morning with smiles and anticipation, I realize that there are many who will not.

I'm tired now. I think I need to sleep. Tomorrow is Christmas. Crazy how fast it comes and goes. At least I'll have pictures to post, and maybe some video footage. Should be a relaxing day. Merry Christmas to All and to All a Good Night!

Like a kid

I get excited for Christmas. Just like a kid. I am already having a hard time sleeping. Well that's partly due to excitement and partly due to my ignorant neighbours. It appears as though they have left for the weekend...or longer...yet they have their alarm set. The past two mornings it has gone off at 6:50 and has continue to pulse loudly until about 7:30. I have never heard it before, but it sure makes sleeping in hard. Hopefully it doesn't stay like this for the entirety of the holidays. I would then do some balcony hopping to break in and turn it off.

I found the Grinch movie. Actually it turns out it was at Blockbuster AND Zellers, I just overlooked it. I guess I'm not as observant as I would like to think. I watched it though, and it was worth the hunt and frustration.

Tomorrow I'm off to the mall to hopefully put an end to the Christmas shopping. I am disappointed with my lack of preparation this year. I have two days to pull it all together. I have a list now though, which should aid in my search.

Laughing is fun. Except when your oblique muscles are injured. I'm pretty sure that's an after effect from the slip on the Zellers parking lot. Larry the Cable Guy is funny. Here's some Christmas cheer.

I made it.

It appears that I made it till Christmas holidays. I'm ecstatic. I managed to finish ALL my marking before I left. I also ensured that I was ready for the up and coming math units. That takes a huge load off of me for the holidays. Perhaps this means I'll have time to enjoy the next two weeks. When we get back, its three weeks left in the semester and then finals. Im so ready for that change. Things are looking good.

I'm sitting here in the dark, listening to my music, and sipping on a white chocolate mocha. It's relaxing and refreshing at the same time. This morning I had this craving to watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas. After school I ventured out to Blockbuster, but was unsuccessful in my search. I also made my way to Zellers, another video store, and a different Blockbuster. Again, no positive results. I love that movie. Im going to find it and I must watch it before Christmas.

I feel like a criminal. Last weekend was what it was. I knew I didn't pay my tab and it's been nagging at me all week. Finally today I got the news that they too realized I didn't pay my tab. Good thing I have such a caring brother to take care of such things for me. It was completely unintentional, I just feel like such a tool. Next time I'll put a down payment before entering. Not a bad plan.

Just because the holidays are here, doesn't mean that my "To-Do" lists have ended. As a matter of fact I have a holiday "To-Do" list. I have yet to finish my Christmas shopping. I need to wrap gifts. I need to go through my closet and part with the clothes that no longer fit. I need to get pictures printed and then put them in albums. I thought of something else today as I was walking through Zellers, but at the time, can't remember what that was. Think..think...think. Nope, it's not coming to me.

Well I'm going to crawl under my electric blanket and let my mind unwind. I played some serious Dutch Blitz today in school and my arm actually hurts. Then as I was walking into Zellers I was inches away from landing on my ass in front of the store. My body managed to contort in a way that enabled me to stay on my feet, but my back now hurts. The couch and heat should feel good. I'll even build a fire. Tonight will be a pressure free sleep. I'm looking forward to it.

And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more. ~Dr. Seuss

Craziness

This was supposed to happen about 2 days ago. I'm late in posting, and am tired. I think I've been on the go since the start of last week. There hasn't been much down time, well a little on Sunday, but I felt like shit so that doesn't count. I haven't watched prime time television in about 2 weeks. I miss it. I'm going to do that come holidays.

So my brother had another birthday. I guess that happens once a year. I remember this time last year. Some things seem exactly the same as they did then. He's still one of the most important people to me. If I had to choose one person that I knew I could have fun with, I know that he would be the one. He makes me laugh, smile, and find the joy that sometimes seems to be missing. No matter what he goes through or is dealing with, he still makes sure that those around him are taken care of. I appreciate his willingness to listen to my rambles. He always has the words that make things seem a little bit better. We've created our share of good times the last year. He's proven to be quite the singer, especially in the comfort of his own home. I look for a performance in the near future. I'm sure I could speak for a lot of people when I say that Cory has been nothing but a great friend to me. He deserves nothing but the best, cause he has been the best. Happy Birthday Bro! Cheers to you!

We were able to celebrate the birthday Saturday night. They were supposed to play hockey, but it got postponed due to inclement weather. Not sure that was a good thing. We may have had too much time to celebrate. I think I may have celebrated too much. I've had some good times in the past while, but Id venture to say this may have topped them all. The pictures were a good reminder of the night's events. And a video made an appearance. I'll keep that under wraps though.

I had so many clever things to say, but alas, I forget them all. We have a short basketball practice tomorrow but hopefully the evening leaves some time for me. I think I'd like that. Goodnight.

It's Cold Outside...and Inside

Can you believe that this is the first year I haven't had a chocolate countdown calendar in a long long time. For as many years as I can remember, I've had my chocolate calendar...but not this year. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure that my parents don't have a Christmas tree yet...hmm...if someone reads this...please get a tree!! Even if it means putting up the fake one! Christmas wouldn't be the same...

The weekend went by at a rapid pace. I managed to stay busy once again. Between hockey games and shopping there wasn't a whole lot of spare time. I just realized I have two weekends left to shop, and this weekend probably won't work. I might be looking for stuff Christmas Eve - which really isn't like me at all.

Speaking of the weekend, I was reminded that negativity is dangerous disease. It causes headaches. I don't like to hear constant complaining. I often complain (especially when leaving the land of rules), but I try to do a lot of it internally. I swear and cuss in my mind. Not everybody needs to be brought down when I am battling a bad attitude. Apparently some people don't care about such. They like to think and believe the worst. Those people don't realize that they are taking up precious time from those around them.

Speaking of precious time, I feel like I don't have enough. (Oh man, here I just talked about negativity and complaining...but that's really all I'm doing now. I'll try to change the tone). Now that basketball has started I won't have as many evenings to myself and my work. I never finish what I intend. Just tonight, for example, I had to kick myself in the ass and force myself to spend an hour marking before I lay on the couch. I didn't get far enough. I suppose that it will all work out. It always does.

Speaking of asses, I know of a few. Not many though, and for that I'm thankful!

Speaking of thankful, I'm happy that there are only 8 school days left till the holidays. A break will be good. Christmas will be good. Time to sleep in, be in sweats all day long, and stay up late if I so desire. I could never forget about my New Years date with Thornton and Marleau.

Speaking of sweats, I'm happy that I own a few pairs. I am too stubborn to turn on the heat and they are one of my primary sources of warmth. That and blankets. On special occasions I even light candles to get some heat that way. I love that I could warm the place up with the flick of a switch, but that I've set my mind up to have no heat and refuse to cave in.

Speaking of caving in, I think it's time for me to rest.

The concert last night was quite fantastic. I enjoyed myself...and the music. My camera doesn't work well under those conditions, but I still took pictures. Here's the least junky of the bunch...

13 days

13 school days left till the holidays. I can make it?!? . Actually I'm not too sure but I'll keep trying to fool myself into believing. One day at a time.

I'll get ready to go to the concert tonight. I really have work to get done, but I guess that can wait another day. This is one of those times to try and enjoy myself. I've got my hoody on - I'm ready to roll. I'll even be brave and take my camera - maybe I'll have pictures to post. It's time.

On a positive note - the basketball game for next Wednesday got cancelled! That means we'll actually be able to have more than one practice before our first game. And we need practice.

A day to relax..

It's been a while since I've been at home for a whole day with nowhere to go and nothing to do. Today is one of those days, and I'm loving it. I fully intended to wake up and drive to Steinbach to watch the boys wildcard game, but when I woke up it was already too late for me to leave so I decided to allow the body to get a complete rest. It felt rather good. I'd like to know the outcome though. I know that there are some grade 12s on the team who really wanted nothing more than to have a chance to play next weekend.

I didn't sit at home all day. I went to the mall to browse for ideas for my Christmas list. That wasn't the most relaxing event of the day. I don't mind crowded malls. What bothers me more is driving around looking for parking spots. I'm not even picky and don't mind walking from the farthest point, but even so, parking spaces were a hot commodity and were incredibly hard to find. After a cruise down through the mall I had generated enough ideas to make a beneficial list. A list that is long enough that I have no idea what I'll really get. I'm still such a child when it comes to Christmas. In my younger years, when I used to count presents to make sure I had more than Cory, my dad started to use the numbering system. He no longer put names on the gifts, just numbers, and then kept a master list. This way I couldn't count ahead of time. I've grown up considerably since then (sort of) but still insist that my dad uses the numbering system. There are some things that I never want to change. I love the element of surprise. Oh wow, this all makes me sound completely selfish, but in all honesty, shopping for others, and trying to come up with creative ideas, is equally as fun for me. I do like giving.

I also don't understand what possess people to take the Walmart shopping carts into the mall itself. I understand why parents with babies in a car seat do it, and old people who need assistance walking, but I don't get why people take those big carts into the crowded hallways that are full of a frenzy of people who are obviously on a mission. What's worse is when they take their carts into stores like Stokes, which have narrow hallways and limited room to begin with.

I went grocery shopping today too and had more cart issues. I am very conscious of my cart placement when I shop - but of course I would think about those things. When I am in an isle and am stopped looking at or for something, I push my cart up as close to the same side of the isle as possible. I don't understand the people who park their cart perpendicular to the isles creating a mini traffic jam and are oblivious to the hold up. It annoys me. It's all about cart etiquette.

My apartment is getting cold. I'm too stubborn to turn on the heat. After typing the past few paragraphs I can feel the coldness nipping at my fingers. My nose is probably worst. Noses take a long time to warm up too. I need to get some split wood so that I can have a fire. That'd be cozy.

Tonight Cory and the rest of the maroons (which isn't many) are playing in Notre Dame. I opted against going as that's a long venture to make on my own. I thought it'd be best if I stay in. It's been a while since I've had a normal sleep on a Saturday night. In fact I think this will be the first Saturday in 4 weeks where I actually sleep during the night. It's probably good to the do that before the start of a full 5 day week. I'll get my hockey fill during the holidays.

Basketball will start this week. We have our first game on the 10th. Maybe I should just play. That's what I'd like to do.

Alright, time to find some blankets and warm up the nose. It'll be a night filled with tv I'm sure.

Went broke believing that the simple should be hard

I don't have long. I just finished marking math tests and One Tree Hill starts in approximately 6 minutes. It's about a month till Christmas. Crazy. What might be crazier is that I don't even have a list made. I am the queen of lists, and usually write my first draft in October. I should get on that. Maybe tonight if I manage to stay awake.

I had a pretty great weekend. Met Art. He is probably over the age of 50, has soft hands and loves to dance. Me and Christine learned that he is a B-E-A-uty. You don't meet people like that every day. I think I even knocked the glasses off of his head, and he just smiled and continued to enjoy himself. Overall the weekend was good company and good times. I realized how much I do love Olive Garden, and want to go back soon. It's just one of those places that you go to when you are content waiting an hour before being seated. I didn't even order an entree....but next time I will. I won't eat all day just so I can indulge excessively.

Okay, time for my show.

Success

This morning I got an e-mail allowing me to re-download the missing song from yesterday. That made me happy!

It's Not OK

The best part of this week is probably the fact that about 2 minutes I bought the Zac Brown album. Now I have 14 new songs to occupy me as I travel to hockey games. Most think my sense of music is, to put it plainly, lame. But it makes me smile, and lately there isn't much that can make me do that. I'll stick to my lame music.

Well my music was a good thing while it lasted. I download music directly onto my iTouch and for some reason it disconnected in the process of downloading, so one song got lost in transit. I paid for it and can't find it anywhere. Life is unfair sometimes - and it was a good song too. Shoot. I sent my problem report - they better fix it!

Something just isn't right. I am stuck in a rut. I don't know why it's bothering me so much. I've spent most of the past 3 years in a rut. I should be comfortable in this place by now. I'm not. It just gets to me every once in a while, and I guess this would be one such occasion. I need a change. I find my days challenging. Probably more challenging now than they have ever been, but I am longing for something different. I would never change what I am doing, that part is okay. I just need something new. Something different. It's hard to explain. I don't understand it and I don't expect that anybody else would. Maybe I don't take enough chances. Maybe I overlook opportunities that are staring me in the face. Maybe I am really scared about change. Maybe one day I'll figure it out.

I feel like continuing with the bitching. I'm really tired of getting up early, but the days when I don't have to, I still get up early as I feel guilty for doing nothing. I'm tired of the poor drivers that put the well being of my car at stake on nearly every trip I make. It's depressing coming home every day to an empty place, but probably good because that way my complaining doesn't drag others down. I'm tired of smiling and pretending that everything really is okay (even though most of the time it is.) I wish I didn't spend my Sunday's worrying about the week to come, and that I didn't need to spend my Saturday's dwelling on the week that's past. I love living by my routine but wish that I was forced to abandon it more often. It scares me that I have trained myself to become numb to many issues that surround me. I miss the feeling of truly getting excited for something. It would be good if I didn't wake up on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday thinking that it's Friday. It makes for a long week. I don't like the fact that I get fixated on small issues that I have no control over - like being bothered about the music issue that I mentioned above. I'm tired of rushing and rushing until life is no fun, not enjoying the little things and always having a plethora of thoughts running through my overactive mind.

As much as I moan and gripe things are probably pretty good. Even though I've lost some of my drive to wake up in the morning, I do find myself smiling, genuinely smiling, often throughout the day. If it weren't for those kids there would be a piece of me missing. They are the motivation that I need to get me through the day. They are the reason why, deep down, I know that I'm doing what I should be doing. My last two weekends have been some of the best in a long while. I've truly enjoyed myself. It hasn't exactly been cheap, but once again, that would be my own flawed decision making. I have a feeling this Saturday will match up nicely. Maybe a chance to forget all that's gone on....even if just for an evening.

The only reason I'm still awake is because I had a hot chocolate this evening. I am physically and mentally exhausted and know that tomorrow being Friday is a blessing. I think I can handle one more day. I'm ready for a break.

Chicken Fried

My teeth are gone and I feel a lot better than I did a week ago. All went smoothly with the extraction. The last thing I remember is them strapping the blood pressure cuff onto my leg. I woke up and it was all over. My mouth has been sore for the past week. I swallowed a stitch on Monday. My stomach took a beating. Just as a suspected, the drugs didn't sit well with me. But I'm happy that it's done. My mouth feels so empty now, but it is also a lot more comfortable.

It's been a long weekend. Well sort of. Yesterday was a busy day at school. Fortunately I got all my marks finished before 8 in the morning. I did not get as much school stuff done during the day as I was wishing, but I seldom do. I'm getting used to the idea of never being done.

This weekend was actually quite enjoyable. I went home to watch the first Maroons game of the year. I gotta say that I really wasn't expecting a whole lot. However, they won, and did so convincingly. Cory played really good the first period and then I think the lack of conditioning caught up with him. I'm looking forward to see how things go next Saturday. It's good that I actually have something that gets me out of my apartment. I wish I had other things sometimes, but I know, that's my own doing. After the game my folks joined me at Chico's. Quite fun, and they even lasted till past midnight. It was kind of them to join me. On Sunday we drove into the city and had a delicious lunch at Mongos. I think my Dad quite enjoyed the experience as he was making plans for the next time we could go.

Today I cleaned, and realized that I am no vacuum repair specialist. I cleaned my vacuum a few weeks back and today put it back together. All was swell. I vacuumed my place and after I finished I noticed that the cleaner was full of dust. I also noticed that the whole place smelled dusty. Upon closer inspection I realized that I forgot to attach the hose, and therefor I was stirring up dust and really collecting nothing. I think I got most of it on the second time around.

I have had plenty of time to think this weekend. I have weaved a web of complex thoughts and ideas that I'm not sure I know how to sort out. Hard to explain, really. Maybe I'll be able to explain them later, but right now I'll try and forget about it all and watch 90210.

To My Dad

My dad's birthday is tomorrow. I won't be able to see him since he's busy combining corn and I'll be busy with my own agenda. I guess some things never change; I sound like a little kid when I say "I think my dad's the best." It is true though. There are so many things that I respect and admire about my dad. He truly knows the meaning of patience. I have probably never met a more patient man. He gives...he gives a lot...and never expects anything in return. He has, and would, do anything to make my day brighter. He has always been there to encourage and support me in whatever it is my heart desires. The memories are abundant, and pretty much endless. My dad was the willing participant in my backyard sporting events that I would concoct every Sunday afternoon. Throughout Junior High and High school he watched essentially all the games I ever played. When it was off to University his kind heart shone through once again as I recall he drove all the way to Grand Forks to bring my the keys the I forgot. One time he ventured to Mayville just to start my car for me because I was too scared to call CAA. Oh and I can't forget about the fishing. I like to think I'm my dad's favorite fishing partner. I know, however, that he is mine. There is nobody that could ever take that spot...probably because I know I can always out-fish him (just kidding). My dad is my partner in a lot of things; We critique hockey games together, make fun of my mom in unison, and make a mean team when it comes to the creation of jello shots.

I could go on and on. When I'm down and out, it's my dad's heartfelt words that lift my spirits. He can quietly and calmly assure me that everything is going to be okay, which sometimes is not an easy task. He tolerates my sometimes immature antics and shows his love for me every day. He makes me laugh, smile, dream and believe. He makes me strive to be a better human being.

Happy Birthday Dad. Love you lots and thanks for all you do!

What is a Dad?

A dad is someone who

wants to catch you before you fall

but instead picks you up,

brushes you off,

and lets you try again.

A dad is someone who

wants to keep you from making mistakes

but instead lets you find your own way,

even though his heart breaks in silence

when you get hurt.

A dad is someone who

holds you when you cry,

scolds you when you break the rules,

shines with pride when you succeed,

and has faith in you even when you fail...

Dad, you're everything a dad should be and some.

~By Susan Ceylise.~

I'm stuck here in a moment

Daylight savings time might pose a few problems for me. For the past two months I've found it nearly impossible to stay awake past 8 on a Friday night. It's really kind of embarrassing. Unless I intentionally keep myself on the go you can pretty much bet that I'll be asleep at a ridiculously early hour. This past Friday, Halloween, was no exception. In actuality it was worse than normal. I fell asleep at 6:00. This wasn't just a nap. I woke up once at around 7:30 and got myself ready for bed and fell asleep shortly thereafter. Honestly, I wish I knew what I could do so that I'd actually have energy banked so that I could try and ENJOY my weekend. Now that it gets dark earlier I feel that the trend will be harder to break. It's not bad I guess - but I feel like I miss out on the weekend because I'm so incredibly tired. It can't be completely healthy.

Yesterday was pretty solid. I guess that's probably because I was well rested. My and my mother enjoyed a delicious lunch and then hit up the mall. I got a fuzzy hoody. I still love hoodies. That will never change. In the evening I headed off to my friends social at the Charleswood Hotel. I didn't last long, as I really knew nobody...but at least I got out. I got home and retired for the evening. More sleep.

This week will be interesting. I get my wisdom teeth out Tuesday morning so I won't be in school. I spent most of the day today getting ready for a sub. Well that and getting marking done. I am going to stay at school tomorrow until all the marking is done so that I don't worry about that Tuesday. I'm not sure if I'll make it to school on Wednesday because the last time I fell victim to anesthetic my stomach didn't exactly agree. So I planned for a sub on Wednesday just in case. I know that I probably won't be thinking straight Tuesday afternoon because medications like Tylenol 3 send me into a delusional state. That's exactly what I DON'T TAKE MEDICATION. It screws up my mind and I hate it. So I guess I'll wait to see how all that plays out. My mom is going to drive me there and pick me up I guess. I'm sure I'll be interesting so she can enjoy the entertainment...as long as I don't puke in the vehicle.

Next week hockey starts again. It gives me something to do on Saturday I suppose. I think I'll enjoy it because it's sort of a long weekend. And if all goes as planned I should have my marks done by then...but I don't really remember the last time that all went as planned. Maybe that means it's time! I also see people more often in winter it seems so it should all be for the better.

Time to get ready to watch Amazing Race. That's what I look forward to on a Sunday. Even though I have stuff I should be doing I think it's fair to take a break. Oh and I need to finish laundry too. Time to get to it.

Change it up

The wind is howling outside. The air is cold and crisp. I guess it's a reminder that winter is just around the corner. Being curled up under a blanket is made appealing on days like this. I don't always like winter. It gets cold in here because I refuse to turn on my heat. I just use more layers. I do like my electric blanket though. Especially on nights after hockey games. It's one of the best ways to stay warm and magically lulls me to sleep.

I am not looking forward to the next few weeks. My to-do list is growing at, what seems to be, an exponential rate. I get these anxious feelings cause I'm never anywhere near the point that I should be. I have marking to catch up on, all while planning future units and just trying to preserve my sanity. It makes me short of breath just thinking about it.

I changed things up this weekend and actually made a public appearance. It's been a while since I've done so much as be awake past 10:00. Although I didn't get as much sleep as I'm accustomed to I feel more rested today than I have in a long while. I guess getting out is somewhat healthy. Last night was the first night in a few months where I slept soundly until I woke up in the morning. I had no thoughts of school at all, which is probably why I feel more rested.

Yesterday was enjoyable. I spent the day watching Volleyball in Altona. The Grunthal boys won the whole tournament, and the girls came a close second (but should have won). Then there was supper and an evening with Christine. Cory joined later and it was just lots of fun. I could have even taken pictures, but of course, I forgot my camera. Go figure.

My new goal is to get a smartboard. I think I should take out a loan and buy one. I'm really quite frustrated with the lack of technology in school. There are so many awesome resources online for math, and especially biology, but there are no means to incorporate them as often as I'd like to. Most days I leave feeling like I didn't adequately explain or illustrate the ideas clearly or in a way that was meaningful to the students. It kills me because I know that there are so many technology tools out there that would interest and engage the students, but that I don't have the means to use them. Maybe one day...even a simple projector that worked consistently and could be accessed on a daily basis would be a good start. For now I guess I'll just stick to the old school methods of chalk boards and overhead projectors. I love how in applied math we are supposed to cover a unit on spreadsheets but don't have access to a computer lab. That's fun.

I need Halloween costume ideas but once again I've waited till the last minute and won't have time to put anything of quality together. You'd think I'd learn.

I came across this. I think it's a good thought for the day:

" Looking good on the outside isn't half as important as being good on the inside. Love those how you wish to be loved. Speak to those how you wish to be spoken to. Admire those how you wish to be admired. Surround yourself with those you wished to be surrounded by. Think about those how you wish to be thought about. Remember those how you wished to be remembered. Respect those how you wish to be respected."

~Sandie Cotant

Blah

This week was not my favorite of weeks. Sometimes short weeks seem to be the longest of them all. I made it through and will be ready to do it again on Monday cause I have no choice.

"When the weight of the world bears down so strong you leave footprints on the street and there's too many miles to face wihtout a few more hours to sleep. The storm clouds overhead won't shed any rain to quence your thirst.." That is sort of how I feel I guess. It's from a Sugarland song. Oh how I love working while listening to my music...or at least I love the music part of it. It makes me work better. It helps for a lot of things. But I won't even start that rant cause it may never end.

I shouldn't complain about sleep as that is something I've been getting plenty of on the weekends. Last night was no exception. I can barely find myself staying awake until 9:00. Last night 8:00 was a struggle. I wake up early but still...who does that on a Friday night? I do.

The Bombers game is pissing me off so that won't keep me entertained for long. Toronto is on Hockey Night in Canada and I really dislike them so I don't know if I can watch that either. I put in 8 hours of school work today so I don't really feel like doing more. I'll be bored I guess. At least I am ready for Monday. I decided to designate Saturday as my work day cause I thought it may help me relax more tomorrow knowing that I'm ready.

I used to have these deep and inspirational thoughts that I could write about but apparently that too, has escaped me. I'm in the mood for a hot tub. It's perfect weather outside for such a luxury. I really miss summer. Summer was good.

I guess it's back to the couch. Really I shouldn't say "back to" because I haven't been there all day. I guess I'll sign off with a few more thoughts from Sugarland, "When your faith is stretched so thin that you can see straight through your soul. And you can't find a nickel to buy a smile because you pockets all got holes. You wanna shut the door and hide before the day can get much worse..."

I Like Clean Pipes

Ever since I moved into this apartment my sink had performed less than satisfactory in the drainage department. I could deal with it, but had to make sure I didn't focus on the sludge that I could see in the pipes every time I look down when washing my hands, face, or brushing my teeth. One time my curiosity got the best of me and I pushed my finger down there only to feel the gross composition of whatever molds happen to build up in pipes. It was nasty. This last week it got to the point where my sink decided not to drain at all. That's when I became courageous enough to call the landlord. Much to my surprise, I came home the next day to an incredibly foul smelling apartment, and a bathroom that looked like it had lived through a tornado BUT a sink that had clean pipes! I can now look down the pipe and see nothing. Washing my hands is such a pleasurable experience now and the simple fact that I can turn the taps on to full pressure is exciting. My sink stays a lot cleaner too. Sometimes asking for help is a good thing.

Thanksgiving weekend is upon us and there is much to be thankful for. I know that I probably complain too much when venting on a day at school but quite honestly I'm thankful I have been blessed with the opportunity to "teach." It makes me happy to go each day. I only get stressed and frustrated cause I care. That's why things bother me. I'm also happy that I have people that are willing to hear my complaints and not pass judgement. Would it not be for them I would not have made it through my first two years. Another year, another day, and another opportunity. All things to be thankful for. If I would sit down and make a list it would obviously be a lengthy one, and even then I know that I'd forget things. I am a lucky kid. I do realize this but most days probably fail to remember to what extent this is true.

The NHL finally started its season. Hockey night in Canada makes Saturdays at the apartment much more tolerable. However, I'm still not sold on the the new Hockey Night in Canada Anthem. Why do you go get rid of something that just makes sense? I guess sometimes change, even the smallest of changes, are hard to accept. I'll work on the adjustment. What I am thrilled about right now is that Toronto is getting killed. That always makes me smile.

My dad got me the sweetest sweater on his trip. I love hoodies and this one will get it's fair share of use. He surprises me with his sense of style sometimes. Although I don't have much sense of style myself so I'm probably pretty easy to please. As long as it has a hood I'm usually satisfied. I should get him to do my shopping more often.

I don't really think I have a brother any more. And that's not his fault - that's my own. The occasional e-mail gets sent but that's not quite the same. I need to make that effort. I really haven't seen much of anybody or anything the past month and a half. I'm pretty sure the kids I teach know more about what's going on with me than my own flesh and blood. That's probably where I need to work on that thing called balance. That's bad of me. I seldom take initiative to make plans even though I often have ideas that I think are grand. Generally by the time Friday rolls around I'm ready to have a quiet night of "me" time.

I think it's time for a rest. Icecream would be good too...maybe tomorrow.

I guess that one good thing about not being able to sleep is that it sure makes it a lot easier to get up in the mornings. I suck at sleeping on Sunday nights. Whatever could possibly run through my head certainly does. The night when I need the most sleep I seem to fail. This morning was altogether strange. It was rainy and as a result was darker than normal when I left. I kept envisioning things on the road and it was slightly scary. I kept seeing the silhouettes of people and things in the mist ahead. Obviously it was a mere figment of my imagination but still made for a highly agitating ride.

My dad has been gone since Friday. He went to Talledega to was the nascar race. I'm interested to hear about his time away. I'm sure that would be quite the experience. At least if I had gone I'd have pictures to post. He should be coming back tonight if all goes as planned.

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Albert Einstein

It made sense...sort of...

Just finished day one of a two day inservice on the topic "Relationships Matter." Today was a long day. I know that I drifted into a daydream type state on a couple of occasions but I managed to pick up a few key ideas. There was a lot being said that I could understand, and perhaps relate to, but it was too much to digest in one day. It will probably take me the rest of my life to sort through what I actually heard. If I had paid attention the WHOLE day I'd probably need two lives to sort everything out, so maybe I did myself a favor. Anyways, Dr. Gordon Neufeld talked about how "for every thought there is an anti-thought." I left today much like I leave every day school day or inservice session. I left with tons of internal conflict. Not knowing if anything that I do is good enough, or the "right" thing, and so on and so forth. Today I learned that this uncertainty is actually a good thing. I find comfort in the fact that internal confusion is healthy and this reinforces the fact that I am doing what I care about. Instinctively I knew this was perfectly normal, but it was reassuring to hear someone say it.

Im now going to take my divided mind and try to allow it to relax. Maybe a good sleep will help sort out what I heard today so that tomorrow I can once again be prepared to experience a healthy dose of internal battles.

So Long September

I think we all do some strange things at the oddest of times. At least I do. Last night I woke up with one of those killer monster cramps in my right calf muscle. This is powerful enough to wake me up and almost cry from the pain. It doesn't go away quickly. You want to move, but you can't. Well I think that this threw off my whole night cause I woke up about 20 minutes earlier than normal and for some reason was under the impression that I needed to wash my bedding. I pulled off my sheets to realize that I'm not allowed to start laundry before 8 in the morning. I am generally out of here by 6:30 so I'm not sure what I was thinking...So I came home this evening to a pile of laundry. At that point I had no choice but to finish it up. I hate putting sheets on my bed too. I think cause it's against the wall. I don't like creases or an unfinished look but not having access to all sides makes the bed making job a challenge. At least tonight will be filled with the sweet smells of bounce sheets. It was probably worth the struggles.

This evening I had a craving for a Cesear Salad Pita from the food court at St. Vital. I hate going out during the week but I brought myself to do it. I get to the food court only to find that PitaPizzaz has been closed. It is being replaced by some other chain. I couldn't believe it. That's the second time that's happened in as many months. I'm not a big cinnamon fan but on occassion I have these strange cravings for cinnamon buns. So one day I act on it and decide to go to Cinnzeo at the food court. Of course I arrive to find it's not longer in business. So it goes.

I realized that I need to get out somewhere, and I need to do so soon. I haven't had any pictures to post in a long while. I haven't gone anywhere in a long while either. I think that's good though.

That was one boring post. It sucks cause I had so many things running through my head a mere hour ago. Maybe the ideas will come back to me tomorrow. I can't even try to sound intelligent right now - I'm too tired. I seem to have adopted a new bed time of around 8:30 which means I'm about 40 minutes overdue. I am going to try to stay awake to watch new captain Roberto Luongo tend the net against Calgary. I'm doubtful I'll make it till the end of the first...

Sleep...School...Repeat

Some days I think my life is boring. After some thought I realize it's not so much boring as it is predictable. Sleep...School...Repeat. I wake up a touch after 5, get myself ready (which takes a grand total of 20 minutes), and then I eat my breakfast banana (of course!) while watching Sportscentre on TSN. I spend the next 30 minutes or so reading my daily dose of online "newspapers" which makes me feel somewhat clued in to the happenings of the past 24 hours. This includes checking scores for local sporting events. Then it's off to school and off to being pretty much busy for the next 11 hours. I leave school around 5:30 - sometimes later sometimes earlier. Then the work generally continues at home until the fuzziness consumes my brain. Then I sleep. This is sometimes by 8:30. Next day the cycle continues.

The eventful part of my day usually occurs between the hours of 8:25 and 3:45. If it weren't for the actual school day my life probably could be classified as boring. I really like routine.

This past weekend I watched volleyball in Morris. Honestly, I could spend every weekend watching some type of sporting event. It entertains me and makes me happy. I don't get to play anything anymore so why not watch. I'm competitive with whatever I play and I've realized that even watching is an intense experience for me. I spend a great amount of effort thinking about what I see - no matter what the sport. I would feel honored and blessed if one day my life included kids and following them around to tournaments and games every weekend. For now watching the kids from school keeps me fulfilled. That leads me to a predicament this weekend however. There are volleyball tournaments in St. Jean and Altona. A hockey tournament in IDC and a hockey game in Steinbach. I think I can manage getting to 3 of the 4, but we'll see how it unfolds. Hockey season is early so I can probably hold off on that for the time being. Last weekend I was sleeping before 10 both nights of the weekend and it felt remarkable. Maybe I'll keep that trend going.

I did probably the most awesome thing ever. I bought tickets for the Minnesota Wild vs. San Jose Sharks game on New Years Eve. Looks like I'm headed for a mini vacation to Minneapolis. Sometimes I do these things out of impulse. I really don't know if anyone else will go, but a hotel is booked and I'm excited. I would go alone if I had to - I love the Sharks. But I know that my Dad would be more than willing to accompany me. Who wouldn't want to go - seriously - I can't think of a more fulfilling way to bring in the New Year!

Its about the time when I should start winding down. I'm getting really close to the sleep portion of the three-part cycle. Last night the majestic and powerful thunder managed to deprive me of a solid night's sleep. It might have been the loudest thunder I've heard since moving to the city and I was sure the building was crumbling. I was just happy to wake in the morning to find the place intact. I'm hoping tonight brings with it a little more peace.

Hump Day

Wednesday has arrived. It really has been a long week in the sense that I've felt like every day I've had more to do than what there has been time for. On the other hand, being busy has also made the week feel short. It is good for me to be busy. I wonder if I'll ever get to the point where I can just feel prepared for the week. Maybe next semester.

Today I'm off for a trip to East Braintree. I'm not at all certain of what I can expect out of the day but I suppose that I will find out shortly. I'm going to head to school first because I have things to get done for tomorrow. I'm awake I might as well use the time.

I got to watch hockey last weekend. Oh how I miss watching hockey and I can't wait for the season to get into full swing. Hockey is awesome. I'm really not even picky about what kind of hockey it is. There is just something about the game.

This weekend I'm going to head to Morris to watch the teams play volleyball. I should probably stay home and plan my next units but I enjoy going to tournaments. I think I'll do that for the next couple of weekends. It's cheap entertainment, and right now cheap is good. Oh how great it will be once all those loans are paid off. Then I can borrow more money...maybe for a house. I'd be so excited.

This last Friday was definitely of the relaxing sort. I watched the bombers game and then indulged in some spectacular icecream. Marble Slab Creamery opened a short time ago by St. Vital. I decided it was time to pay a visit and now I'm worried about keeping myself away. This experience was much the same as my icecream experience at Mall of America. Simply amazing. Words can't explain the bliss. I would highly recommend the place to those who have an appreciation for icecream like I do. The creations delicious and they hand mix them in front of you. The freshly made waffle cones release the sweet aromas into the air which works to tease the taste buds. I can't wait for my next visit...so many things to try. I really think that I'm going to be a little bit of a loser and I'm going to purchase my own birthday cake this year and that is where it is going to come from!

Alright I should be off. I enjoy the morning drive (at least for now...that will change when Winter starts) as its just me, the road, and the radio. Really quite relaxing.

It Is What It Is

I survived the week back at school. Actually I should say I enjoyed the first week back at school. Despite being exhausted and feeling as though I was losing by the time that the first class on Wednesday was over, things went wonderfully. It was a good exhaustion - the type from being satisfied and feeling as though I'd done something productive through the day. The type where I should been able to fall asleep as soon as I lay my head on the pillow. Unfortunately that was not the case. Sleep was at a minimum this week cause there were too many thoughts running through my head at any given moment. Last night was actually one of the most solid nights I've had in quite some time. I fell asleep at a reasonable time and woke up feeling rested. A good way to start the week I'd say. (random thought: I'm just looking at the word should now and it looks funny to me. I don't know why).

I laughed many times throughout the school days and I'm excited cause I can update my notable quotes pretty soon. Sometimes I wish I could record the comments that get said cause I'm pretty sure I forget a majority of the funny things that I hear throughtout the day.

School was the obvious focus of the week. The days were long as I found myself working late into the evenings to stay caught up and try and get a little bit ahead. I worked for about 5 hours today too but feel good about what I got accomplished. It's interesting to look at how my planning has changed since the first year. I feel as though I keep the bigger picture in mind as I go through things now - more conscious of the day-to-day flow and how things tie into each other. I sort of feel bad for those students had me the first year cause it was more of a day-to-day effort. Good thing they put up with me. I appreciate it.

Because I couldn't sleep I spent the time I was laying awake in bed reading. I am reading "The Courage to Teach." Well I've had it a couple of years now but haven't put my full focus into it. Now is the time I think. I'm not far into the book, however, my experience with the book so far has been intriguing. Almost every page has contained a passage that has left me deep in thought for a few moments. It's not a book that I read big chunks at a time because I feel that there is a lot to digest and if I read too much I almost feel overwhelmed - in a good way of course. An example of one of the many insightful paragraphs:

"As good teachers weave the fabric that joins them with students and subjects, the heart is the loom on which the threads are tied, tension is held, the shuttle flies, and the fabric is stretched tight. Small wonder, then, that teaching tugs at the heart, opens the heart, even breaks the heart - and the more one loves teaching, the more heartbreaking it can be. The courage to teach is the courage to keep one's heart open in those very moments when the heart is asked to hold more than it is able so that teacher and students and subject can be woven into the fabric of community that learning, and living, require."

Aside from the week of school I had an enjoyable weekend. Made it home to Altona for Friday night. Got to see family, had a good time, and woke up feeling good on Saturday. I got a new debit card. My other one expired and the one that was suppossed to get sent via mail probably ended up going to my old mailing address. I was without access to my account for a week and managed just fine. I should probably try that more often! Last night was quiet. I watched a movie, and organized stuff for school. I read through some questionaires I gave out in my classes and had a good chuckle at some of the responses.

Today, well I was super productive. I woke up and started doing som laundry. I also cleaned my whole apartment - dusted and vacuumed. I've been wondering about the lack of suckage in my vaccuum cleaning as of late so I decided it was about time I find instructions and clean all the filters. Well it was pretty gross but I think I solved the problem. One of those hidden filters was really jam packed full of stuff; no wonder nothing was making it to the dust tray anymore. I cleaned out my fridge - took out garbage and the recycling. That was all done before noon so I headed to the mall and did some shopping to make sure the new debit card worked (and it did!). I went to bulk barn, filled in gas, and went to the grocery store. My kitchen has been bare for a good month now so I'm pretty excited about the lunch tomorrow! After getting home I started working and watched the bombers game as I worked. I thought it would be a good ending - but I was wrong again. Now I think that it might be time to become acquainted with the couch and get mentally and physically ready for the first 5 day week I've had in a long time.

Another week...another lesson to be learned...

I am a Geek

Now that it's officially one week before my life completely changes gears once again, the inner geek in me is starting to emerge. Who am I fooling, it really never goes away. Ive spent a good few days at school and find that nothing has really changed. I still am immensely satisfied by the process of labelling just about everything possible. I seriously sometimes spend a good couple of hours labelling and organizing things when I could be using that time to actually do the work that needs to get done. I worked through some math problems and that too puts me in a giddy kind of state. I can sit and do math for hours - it really is that much fun. I miss my university math classes...those were the classes I looked forward to. A whole page of numbers and symbols and more numbers just to get to an answer that I probably didn't fully understand was great. It's all about a process - and I like processes.

Thinking about the year to come I'm filled with mixed feelings. Right now I'm anxious - sort of like a fish out of water. I guess it's the fear of the unknown; not knowing the dynamics of each class or whether my ideas will work with the groups of students that I have. Fear of letting the students down and hindering them instead of enabling and motivating them. I'm not scared of responsibility but rather by the magnitude of the responsibility of being a teacher. I will be in contact with more than a hundred kids on any single day and each of these kids deserves my respect, attention, and support. That's mind-boggling (at least to me it is). Although I'm anxious I'm also excited. I know that once school starts my days will be MUCH more entertaining. I will no longer have to laugh in solitude at the jokes that I make in my mind as there will actually be others around that are much funnier than me to make me laugh, smile, and feel as though I accomplished something during the day. I'm looking forward to random lunch hour games, sharing the love of math and science, playing some basketball, and watching the remarkable teenagers grow into unique individuals over the course of the year.

My goal this year as a "teacher" is to be better than last year. I can improve in every way possible so I figure a new year is a good time to give it a shot. I want to find ways to engage more of the students more often, help students find ways in which each one of them can succeed. I resolve to accept that bad days will happen and that sometimes activities and lessons won't go well. I am not a perfect teacher and never will be, and that's fine. I want to offer myself to others as a resource for understand. I also want to become a better student and seeker of what is. Reality is that I have lots of goals - most of which are hard to express. It is something I feel. Acting on this feelings is key. It's truly is all about the students.

I think geeks are sometimes sappy and idealistic. At least this geek is. I like to read motivational and inspirational passages. I think anyone who wants to improve is also willing to take risks. The following passage is one that I found encouraging, especially as I've been trying to establish a positive mindset for the upcoming school year.

Risk

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach out for another is to risk involvement.

To expose your feelings is to risk exposing your true self.

To place your ideas, your dreams, before a crowd is to risk their loss.

To love is to risk not being loved in return.

To live is to risk dying.

To hope is to risk despair.

To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

Persons who risk nothing do nothing, having nothing, and are nothing.

They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, or live.

Chained by their attitudes, they are slaves, for they have forfeited their freedom.

Only a person who risks is free.

Finally a break in the action...

So I've been meaning to write for a few days now. Figured this was the perfect opportunity since it's storming outside, I have no satellite signal, and it's too early to hop on the WiiFit. If I would step on it now it would probably tell me I was lighter than yesterday and it would be all proud of me...only because it's earlier in the day. That would be great...but that would mean the next time I went on I'd probably have "gained weight" again and it would ask me why. So I'll just wait and eliminate all those potential challenges.

This last week might have been the fastest passing week of the entire summer. It feels like yesterday I was packing to head home for the weekend. That's probably because I started "working" this week. I got somewhat of a broad plan together for the first semester courses, modified course outlines, and am actually well on my way to finishing up the first unit for Biology. It's kind of nice being able to "re-teach" some of the same courses this year cause I can change things to make them better. Yesterday I went to the school and I think that motivated me somewhat. Today I went to Staples. That just might make the top 5 list of best places ever. I have this fascination for all things "officeish". Binders make me smile, pens make me excited, markers, pencil crayons and colors bring light to my day, and even a simple pack of looseleaf can bring me joy. I really indulged today - if I saw it and liked it I pretty much bought it. BUT it was teacher appreciation day and I did get 10% off. Saving it! Oh and I got a complimentary gift - a roll of stickers, glue, reusable bag - how lovely! This afternoon I organized it all...oh how I love it when everything has a special place (and is labelled!). I expect that tomorrow will be much more of the same - getting ready for school.

Okay so last weekend was great. From the pictures below it's obvious that Macy and Cory got married. It was awesome. Macy is such a relaxed and laid back person and she did everything necessary to make the weekend great (hopefully she thought so too!) The wedding was simple and beautiful. Very genuine and relaxed. The reception was tons of fun - probably the most fun I've had this summer. I still feel honored to have been chosen to be a part of such a special day. Great times were had and great memories were made.

I'm thinking about how next week at this time I'll be totally stressed out...and of course I would think about that. I feel like its going to be the start of having "no life" again but at the same time it's my whole life. If that makes any sense. I think that I'm okay with that though...ya I am.

Amazing person...Beautiful Bride

Another Week...

This week...hmm...I really have nothing new to report. I pretty much kept things low key and worked on my "secret" (or not so secret) project. Ahh I forgot - that was a challenge in itself. When I put my mind to something I like to do it to the best of my ability - no cutting corners. I'm not one for sub-par products. For this particular video/photo project I had a great idea in mind. I started working on it a couple of weeks ago and was learning a new program as I went along (another thing I find to be great fun!). All was well for the first third of the project...then came the hurdles. For the sake of me not wanting to think about the technology tragedy, I'm going to keep this short. A song file, which I later discovered was probably converted in a faulty manner (I think), caused my saved project not to open....BUT...I had a back-up...no big deal. WRONG. I started working on my backup, which included changing the song to the faulty one (which I didn't know at the time) and after significant work I realized that this one too was no longer workable. That sent be back to square one. It took some consoling but I was reminded to turn lemons into lemonade and it worked. Started over now that I knew the program better meant that the second time around things looked a little bit better. It was an improved product - so for that I am thankful. I really had nothing else to do so the lost work is now seen as hours of practice. I finished and although I think I could do better the third time around...I don't have time so have to convince myself that I am satisfied.

I'm really not feeling super insightful today. No elaborate thoughts or complex ideas. I guess I'm just getting by...everybody has those days I think. I realize that I need to start focusing on school...and I think I'll do that as soon as tomorrow. I've been dreaming about it so that probably means I should act on those subconscious thoughts. Pretty sure that this week is going to fly by and then August is half gone - where has summer gone? I've been watching Olympics and get crazy focused on whatever is showing - so much so that I can't fall asleep. My whole sleeping pattern needs a major overhaul if I'm going to be able to function come September.

Sometimes I find those survey things that you see floating around in e-mails and whatnot entertaining. I came across one that was slightly unique and figured since I have nothing else to say I should just fill it out...so here it is...

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 19, and find line 4. Write it down.
blue. She reached for her hand and it was cold. Lilly started
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What's there?
my coffee table which is the holding place for my remotes and math magazines!
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
The Olympics - more specifically the start of the Men's 4 x 100 m Freestyle relay
4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
10:45
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
10:27 - wow I was way off - usually I'm close than that
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The television and the air conditioner
7. When did you last step outside?
About one hour ago
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at.
My other computer, I turned it off
9. What are you wearing?
My sleeping gear
10. Did you dream last night?
I dreamt that I went out but forgot to get dressed and then was trying to hide...I hate it when that happens. Another part of me dream included me being outside and there were grain bins around and I was sort of being sly trying to hide from people and then this kid, who I hardly know, came up behind me and dumped a whole tub of water on me. I had other dreams too but now I forget them...shoot.
11. When did you last laugh?
Well this afternoon I believe. Ohh ya, when the dude was filling in gas into his Harley and it sprayed out kind of volcano like and went all over. He was swearing, I laughed but then he glared at me.
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
I have nothing on the walls...pretty boring.
13. Seen anything weird lately?
Hmmm, yes. A biker woman put a plastic bag on her chest to warm her lungs and there was a woman riding her bike and just ran right into the fence...maybe that was more funny than weird. Ohh and I find fencing to be weird...their helmets light up! It's cool.
14. What do you think of this quiz?
I think it's a good way to occupy my time
15. What is the last film you saw?
Well this morning I watched Grumpy Old Men - and I laugh every time. Priceless.
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Pay off student loans and car loans, then buy a house and a bosch machine. Then I'd buy my dad a boat and a camper and my mom something too - just not sure what she would want.
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
I like to read obituaries - although people may know that. Umm I don't like cinnamon really but have been having intense cravings for a cinnamon bun. I make cake batters and sometimes make about 8 cupcakes and eat the rest of the batter.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
That no child goes through life without having someone who loves them and cares for them. That all children have a loving, safe, and enriching home in which they are raised.
19. Do you like to dance?
It's fun...dance like nobody is watching!
20. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Well for some reason I like the letter K and the letter M...
21. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Same as above...but I also like the letter D I think...who knows!
22. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Well I'd like to visit abroad...I would consider living there for a short time period maybe if there was some opportunity...but I don't forsee that happening...
23. What do you want to say to God when you reach the pearly gates?
Maybe Thank You

Frisbee can be Dangerous

I've been sore a lot this summer. I don't know what it is but I seem to be suffering, on a regular basis, by some type of self-inflicted soreness. I think I am getting old. Just the past 2 weeks...well I have been using the WiiFit and got diagnosed with a "WiiFit Age" of 39. Maybe that isn't too far off and that is why I am dealing with this soreness. I've realized that those activities are something to do in complete solitude. The one time I did do it with people watching...my hula hooping skills brought on some hearty laughs. My ability to head a soccer ball was apparently reason enough for some ferocious roars. It was all in fun though, and come to think of it and audience is sorta fun. However, the yoga poses need to be done alone...cause I feel like a fruit when I do them...which means I probably look 15 times more ridiculous.

The latest pains, however, were the result of the frizknock game that was held this past Saturday in Mmerfeld. Those who really know me understand that I play ever game competitively. ..and if it doesn't show I'm just doing a really good job of hiding it. Well when the frisbee got brought out and there were stakes on the line it was only natural for me to try and catch everything that came my way...even if it was thrown with the speed of a bullet. Not only was I not victorious, but I came out of the match with a bruised left forearm that is still inflicting a significant amount of pain today. The side wounds, which aren't nearly as bothersome, are a slightly bruised stomach and clavicle. But it was fun, and I'm sure I'll play again...so long as I win next time. The night also included some "stellar" singing, great food, a sweet fire and just some good times! Cory and Christine are great hosts!

Other than that the weekend was pretty quiet. I have about 12 days to finish a photo presentation for Cory and Macy's wedding. I've been dabbling with it but I'm not sure if Im happy with the outcome so far. I also need more pictures, but that has posed to be a whole nother challenge. Hopefully it comes together and looks somewhat decent. Maybe by some way of a miracle I'll also get some additional pictures.

Tonight I had a super supper with my mom. It was delicious. We went to Kelsey's - one of my favorite places. Ended it off with icecream. A great way to end a long weekend. I'm excited for tommorrow too. I get to see a pretty special person who I haven't seen in a long time. I'm sure the catching up will make for a great day!

The Life of a Minnow...

I think that being a minnow would suck. The past few days I was in the presence of minnows most of the time and just couldn't help but think that they really don't have a lot going for them. Sometimes I think it would be nice to be a dog - eat, sleep, play if you want - pretty much a stress free life. But I would never want to be a minnow - especially the kind that are used for fishing. Think about it. You are kept in a tank and when avid fisherpeople come in and make a purchase you might be one of the unlucky ones who gets netted and transferred to a plastic bag. That remains your new home for a but a few short hours. Eventually you will be chosen and then a hook gets inserted through your mouth - you are still alive and wiggling but you are attached to some color of jig head which is probably quite intimidating for such a little guy! Then you get put back into the big lake - what should be your home. You try to swim free but are confined by mr. jig head once again. Then it's the worst thing that could happen...you see a fish of a larger species come by, and you could be unlucky enough to get eaten. You have no chance to swim for freedom. I think if I were a minnow I'd find some satisfaction knowing that the bigger, meaner fish got hooked...at least it's some payback for picking on the little guy!

So that was one of the many random thoughts that ran through my mind as me and my dad spent the last few days fishing. It was just him and me...me and him. We headed to new territory this year and explored the depths of Bird Lake. We were privileged enough to take the motorhome so our sleeping quarters were comfy. The camping is primitive though so we do have to make do with outhouses, and only the water that was brought in the tanks. Well worth it however.

Just to quickly sum up the results of the weekend...I want to get this over with! I got outfished. I caught 15 and dad caught 27. I got shown up...big time. I guess his experience reigned supreme. It was a very successful few days. I will go on record to say that I caught the first fish, the biggest fish, and my "keeper" fish ratio was substantially higher. The nerd in me came out on the boat when I started figuring out statistics as to who had a higher percentage of fish kept, etc. I had to build my confidence some how! I also managed to catch two fish at once (to be explained later).

We arrived Sunday evening and got everything set up. We then headed out into the lake and tried our luck with some fishing. We went to the end of the lake which happens to be by Tulibee Falls. They weren't big falls but it was still fun to watch, and peaceful. We each caught a couple of fish which made for a great start to a fun few days.

The first night in the camper - well I slept alright. I woke up numerous times, twice to people driving around the campground. Can you believe some city dudes showed up at 4:00 to go fish and then sat around and waited for it to get light? I was surprised.

The first full day of fishing was awesome. We headed out to the falls and we both caught a couple. Then we decided it was time for a new spot. We were driving back and I had a feeling we were at a good spot...it was one of those gut feelings. We drifted back and forth while jigging and it turned out that I my feelings were true. We spend the rest of the afternoon there and had a fair haul of fishies....well dad did. I got good at manning the net. Then we went in for some grub and headed back in the evening. I proved to be more successful come evening. We caught more at "my spot" and then packed it in for the evening.

The first full day got me thinking something. I don't know what is more frustrating: 1) sitting out on the lake all day and not having many bites or 2) sitting out on the lake and getting "nibbles" very regularly but only being able to hook maybe 10% of those dang fish. I was a victim of #2. This is what I kinda figured; I don't mind sitting out on the lake all day, it is enjoyable. The fish are an added bonus, and a fun one at that. If NOBODY is catching fish at least I know that I'm not the incompetent one. BUT I had a lot of experiences the past few days, getting hits but then failing at landing a fish. Part of me thought this was worse because it made me look unable to succeed. Knowing that you are so close makes the pain of letting the big one "get away" that much harder to swallow. However, with every nibble the heart does race, so maybe it isn't so bad!

The evening we had a fire and ate some smores. It was delicious. I was tired from being out all day so I thought that I would sleep well...little did I know that thunderstorms were brewing. I feel asleep and woke up due to some intense thunder. I few times I also thought that the lightening was coming through the camper, but I didn't end up safe. I woke in the morning to a wet bad! I guess I didn't deem it necessary to close the vent on the roof that was right over my bed so it rained on me. No wonder I was so cold!

Unfortunately Tuesday didn't bring the nicest weather. We went out and were bundled in rain gear. The showers were intermittent but on occasion there was a downpour. I think the fish were scared from the thunder the night before cause they too seemed to be less active. We did what we could however, and I still enjoyed the day!

One last story: On Tuesday I did catch 2 fish at once. We were trolling and I just let out my line a ways. I felt something and then I felt something a lot more substantial. I reeled in to find the coolest thing. A tiny walleye was hooked on my spinner, but half of the walleye was in the mouth of a much bigger, and slimier, jack fish. The jack wasn't hooked onto any hook it was just clamped on the poor walleye. We netted them both and took a picture. It was awesome. I guess in that case we saved the life of the walleye, and denied the jack some supper...but once again it was the minnow who really lost out!

So it was a great couple of days with beautiful sights, crazy ducks, lost lifejackets, gourmet meals, no lettuce, lots of fish, and a few games of cribbage (which I won!). I am so happy that my dad is willing to take a few days out of his summer and take me fishing. I know that he loves to fish and am just happy that he shares that with me. It wouldn't be the same with anyone else. It's something I cherish. It's good to get away with just him. Maybe next time I will outfish the champ!