A day to relax..

It's been a while since I've been at home for a whole day with nowhere to go and nothing to do. Today is one of those days, and I'm loving it. I fully intended to wake up and drive to Steinbach to watch the boys wildcard game, but when I woke up it was already too late for me to leave so I decided to allow the body to get a complete rest. It felt rather good. I'd like to know the outcome though. I know that there are some grade 12s on the team who really wanted nothing more than to have a chance to play next weekend.

I didn't sit at home all day. I went to the mall to browse for ideas for my Christmas list. That wasn't the most relaxing event of the day. I don't mind crowded malls. What bothers me more is driving around looking for parking spots. I'm not even picky and don't mind walking from the farthest point, but even so, parking spaces were a hot commodity and were incredibly hard to find. After a cruise down through the mall I had generated enough ideas to make a beneficial list. A list that is long enough that I have no idea what I'll really get. I'm still such a child when it comes to Christmas. In my younger years, when I used to count presents to make sure I had more than Cory, my dad started to use the numbering system. He no longer put names on the gifts, just numbers, and then kept a master list. This way I couldn't count ahead of time. I've grown up considerably since then (sort of) but still insist that my dad uses the numbering system. There are some things that I never want to change. I love the element of surprise. Oh wow, this all makes me sound completely selfish, but in all honesty, shopping for others, and trying to come up with creative ideas, is equally as fun for me. I do like giving.

I also don't understand what possess people to take the Walmart shopping carts into the mall itself. I understand why parents with babies in a car seat do it, and old people who need assistance walking, but I don't get why people take those big carts into the crowded hallways that are full of a frenzy of people who are obviously on a mission. What's worse is when they take their carts into stores like Stokes, which have narrow hallways and limited room to begin with.

I went grocery shopping today too and had more cart issues. I am very conscious of my cart placement when I shop - but of course I would think about those things. When I am in an isle and am stopped looking at or for something, I push my cart up as close to the same side of the isle as possible. I don't understand the people who park their cart perpendicular to the isles creating a mini traffic jam and are oblivious to the hold up. It annoys me. It's all about cart etiquette.

My apartment is getting cold. I'm too stubborn to turn on the heat. After typing the past few paragraphs I can feel the coldness nipping at my fingers. My nose is probably worst. Noses take a long time to warm up too. I need to get some split wood so that I can have a fire. That'd be cozy.

Tonight Cory and the rest of the maroons (which isn't many) are playing in Notre Dame. I opted against going as that's a long venture to make on my own. I thought it'd be best if I stay in. It's been a while since I've had a normal sleep on a Saturday night. In fact I think this will be the first Saturday in 4 weeks where I actually sleep during the night. It's probably good to the do that before the start of a full 5 day week. I'll get my hockey fill during the holidays.

Basketball will start this week. We have our first game on the 10th. Maybe I should just play. That's what I'd like to do.

Alright, time to find some blankets and warm up the nose. It'll be a night filled with tv I'm sure.

Went broke believing that the simple should be hard

I don't have long. I just finished marking math tests and One Tree Hill starts in approximately 6 minutes. It's about a month till Christmas. Crazy. What might be crazier is that I don't even have a list made. I am the queen of lists, and usually write my first draft in October. I should get on that. Maybe tonight if I manage to stay awake.

I had a pretty great weekend. Met Art. He is probably over the age of 50, has soft hands and loves to dance. Me and Christine learned that he is a B-E-A-uty. You don't meet people like that every day. I think I even knocked the glasses off of his head, and he just smiled and continued to enjoy himself. Overall the weekend was good company and good times. I realized how much I do love Olive Garden, and want to go back soon. It's just one of those places that you go to when you are content waiting an hour before being seated. I didn't even order an entree....but next time I will. I won't eat all day just so I can indulge excessively.

Okay, time for my show.

Success

This morning I got an e-mail allowing me to re-download the missing song from yesterday. That made me happy!

It's Not OK

The best part of this week is probably the fact that about 2 minutes I bought the Zac Brown album. Now I have 14 new songs to occupy me as I travel to hockey games. Most think my sense of music is, to put it plainly, lame. But it makes me smile, and lately there isn't much that can make me do that. I'll stick to my lame music.

Well my music was a good thing while it lasted. I download music directly onto my iTouch and for some reason it disconnected in the process of downloading, so one song got lost in transit. I paid for it and can't find it anywhere. Life is unfair sometimes - and it was a good song too. Shoot. I sent my problem report - they better fix it!

Something just isn't right. I am stuck in a rut. I don't know why it's bothering me so much. I've spent most of the past 3 years in a rut. I should be comfortable in this place by now. I'm not. It just gets to me every once in a while, and I guess this would be one such occasion. I need a change. I find my days challenging. Probably more challenging now than they have ever been, but I am longing for something different. I would never change what I am doing, that part is okay. I just need something new. Something different. It's hard to explain. I don't understand it and I don't expect that anybody else would. Maybe I don't take enough chances. Maybe I overlook opportunities that are staring me in the face. Maybe I am really scared about change. Maybe one day I'll figure it out.

I feel like continuing with the bitching. I'm really tired of getting up early, but the days when I don't have to, I still get up early as I feel guilty for doing nothing. I'm tired of the poor drivers that put the well being of my car at stake on nearly every trip I make. It's depressing coming home every day to an empty place, but probably good because that way my complaining doesn't drag others down. I'm tired of smiling and pretending that everything really is okay (even though most of the time it is.) I wish I didn't spend my Sunday's worrying about the week to come, and that I didn't need to spend my Saturday's dwelling on the week that's past. I love living by my routine but wish that I was forced to abandon it more often. It scares me that I have trained myself to become numb to many issues that surround me. I miss the feeling of truly getting excited for something. It would be good if I didn't wake up on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday thinking that it's Friday. It makes for a long week. I don't like the fact that I get fixated on small issues that I have no control over - like being bothered about the music issue that I mentioned above. I'm tired of rushing and rushing until life is no fun, not enjoying the little things and always having a plethora of thoughts running through my overactive mind.

As much as I moan and gripe things are probably pretty good. Even though I've lost some of my drive to wake up in the morning, I do find myself smiling, genuinely smiling, often throughout the day. If it weren't for those kids there would be a piece of me missing. They are the motivation that I need to get me through the day. They are the reason why, deep down, I know that I'm doing what I should be doing. My last two weekends have been some of the best in a long while. I've truly enjoyed myself. It hasn't exactly been cheap, but once again, that would be my own flawed decision making. I have a feeling this Saturday will match up nicely. Maybe a chance to forget all that's gone on....even if just for an evening.

The only reason I'm still awake is because I had a hot chocolate this evening. I am physically and mentally exhausted and know that tomorrow being Friday is a blessing. I think I can handle one more day. I'm ready for a break.

Chicken Fried

My teeth are gone and I feel a lot better than I did a week ago. All went smoothly with the extraction. The last thing I remember is them strapping the blood pressure cuff onto my leg. I woke up and it was all over. My mouth has been sore for the past week. I swallowed a stitch on Monday. My stomach took a beating. Just as a suspected, the drugs didn't sit well with me. But I'm happy that it's done. My mouth feels so empty now, but it is also a lot more comfortable.

It's been a long weekend. Well sort of. Yesterday was a busy day at school. Fortunately I got all my marks finished before 8 in the morning. I did not get as much school stuff done during the day as I was wishing, but I seldom do. I'm getting used to the idea of never being done.

This weekend was actually quite enjoyable. I went home to watch the first Maroons game of the year. I gotta say that I really wasn't expecting a whole lot. However, they won, and did so convincingly. Cory played really good the first period and then I think the lack of conditioning caught up with him. I'm looking forward to see how things go next Saturday. It's good that I actually have something that gets me out of my apartment. I wish I had other things sometimes, but I know, that's my own doing. After the game my folks joined me at Chico's. Quite fun, and they even lasted till past midnight. It was kind of them to join me. On Sunday we drove into the city and had a delicious lunch at Mongos. I think my Dad quite enjoyed the experience as he was making plans for the next time we could go.

Today I cleaned, and realized that I am no vacuum repair specialist. I cleaned my vacuum a few weeks back and today put it back together. All was swell. I vacuumed my place and after I finished I noticed that the cleaner was full of dust. I also noticed that the whole place smelled dusty. Upon closer inspection I realized that I forgot to attach the hose, and therefor I was stirring up dust and really collecting nothing. I think I got most of it on the second time around.

I have had plenty of time to think this weekend. I have weaved a web of complex thoughts and ideas that I'm not sure I know how to sort out. Hard to explain, really. Maybe I'll be able to explain them later, but right now I'll try and forget about it all and watch 90210.

To My Dad

My dad's birthday is tomorrow. I won't be able to see him since he's busy combining corn and I'll be busy with my own agenda. I guess some things never change; I sound like a little kid when I say "I think my dad's the best." It is true though. There are so many things that I respect and admire about my dad. He truly knows the meaning of patience. I have probably never met a more patient man. He gives...he gives a lot...and never expects anything in return. He has, and would, do anything to make my day brighter. He has always been there to encourage and support me in whatever it is my heart desires. The memories are abundant, and pretty much endless. My dad was the willing participant in my backyard sporting events that I would concoct every Sunday afternoon. Throughout Junior High and High school he watched essentially all the games I ever played. When it was off to University his kind heart shone through once again as I recall he drove all the way to Grand Forks to bring my the keys the I forgot. One time he ventured to Mayville just to start my car for me because I was too scared to call CAA. Oh and I can't forget about the fishing. I like to think I'm my dad's favorite fishing partner. I know, however, that he is mine. There is nobody that could ever take that spot...probably because I know I can always out-fish him (just kidding). My dad is my partner in a lot of things; We critique hockey games together, make fun of my mom in unison, and make a mean team when it comes to the creation of jello shots.

I could go on and on. When I'm down and out, it's my dad's heartfelt words that lift my spirits. He can quietly and calmly assure me that everything is going to be okay, which sometimes is not an easy task. He tolerates my sometimes immature antics and shows his love for me every day. He makes me laugh, smile, dream and believe. He makes me strive to be a better human being.

Happy Birthday Dad. Love you lots and thanks for all you do!

What is a Dad?

A dad is someone who

wants to catch you before you fall

but instead picks you up,

brushes you off,

and lets you try again.

A dad is someone who

wants to keep you from making mistakes

but instead lets you find your own way,

even though his heart breaks in silence

when you get hurt.

A dad is someone who

holds you when you cry,

scolds you when you break the rules,

shines with pride when you succeed,

and has faith in you even when you fail...

Dad, you're everything a dad should be and some.

~By Susan Ceylise.~

I'm stuck here in a moment

Daylight savings time might pose a few problems for me. For the past two months I've found it nearly impossible to stay awake past 8 on a Friday night. It's really kind of embarrassing. Unless I intentionally keep myself on the go you can pretty much bet that I'll be asleep at a ridiculously early hour. This past Friday, Halloween, was no exception. In actuality it was worse than normal. I fell asleep at 6:00. This wasn't just a nap. I woke up once at around 7:30 and got myself ready for bed and fell asleep shortly thereafter. Honestly, I wish I knew what I could do so that I'd actually have energy banked so that I could try and ENJOY my weekend. Now that it gets dark earlier I feel that the trend will be harder to break. It's not bad I guess - but I feel like I miss out on the weekend because I'm so incredibly tired. It can't be completely healthy.

Yesterday was pretty solid. I guess that's probably because I was well rested. My and my mother enjoyed a delicious lunch and then hit up the mall. I got a fuzzy hoody. I still love hoodies. That will never change. In the evening I headed off to my friends social at the Charleswood Hotel. I didn't last long, as I really knew nobody...but at least I got out. I got home and retired for the evening. More sleep.

This week will be interesting. I get my wisdom teeth out Tuesday morning so I won't be in school. I spent most of the day today getting ready for a sub. Well that and getting marking done. I am going to stay at school tomorrow until all the marking is done so that I don't worry about that Tuesday. I'm not sure if I'll make it to school on Wednesday because the last time I fell victim to anesthetic my stomach didn't exactly agree. So I planned for a sub on Wednesday just in case. I know that I probably won't be thinking straight Tuesday afternoon because medications like Tylenol 3 send me into a delusional state. That's exactly what I DON'T TAKE MEDICATION. It screws up my mind and I hate it. So I guess I'll wait to see how all that plays out. My mom is going to drive me there and pick me up I guess. I'm sure I'll be interesting so she can enjoy the entertainment...as long as I don't puke in the vehicle.

Next week hockey starts again. It gives me something to do on Saturday I suppose. I think I'll enjoy it because it's sort of a long weekend. And if all goes as planned I should have my marks done by then...but I don't really remember the last time that all went as planned. Maybe that means it's time! I also see people more often in winter it seems so it should all be for the better.

Time to get ready to watch Amazing Race. That's what I look forward to on a Sunday. Even though I have stuff I should be doing I think it's fair to take a break. Oh and I need to finish laundry too. Time to get to it.