Dangerous Minds..

First off I think that Dangerous Minds might just be my favorite movie of all times. I don't know why but I can watch that movie again and again and not get sick of it. Each time I still have to turn away when Emilio goes missing cause I can't stand knowing what happened. Sending a student away for not knocking...who does that? Seriously. It makes me so mad every time.

Secondly, I think that my mind is dangerous. It really never stops. Even when I'm sleeping I think my mind is rolling...which would explain why there are times I wake up feeling more mentally exhausted than when I went to bed. Sometimes it's school, sometimes it's food, sometimes it's nonsense, sometimes it just is life, and sometimes it is nothing at all. But for the most part it always seems to be littered with thoughts.

Usually I don't like Sunday's too much. But this time it's different. First off, today is Easter - Happy Easter. Secondly, I did have a great supper and am still full, although for some strange reason I am having an intesnse craving for peaches - the canned kind, plump and juicy! Third, I think my school work is prepped for tomorrow meaning I have the remaining hours to watch some Oprah's Big Give and curling. Fourth, yesterday was good (except I almost hit a biker..how many points is that?) so that makes today better. Finally, it's only one week till spring break. So knowing that I have 5 early mornings left before a long anticipated break just makes me want to get things rolling.

I have some goals for spring break.
1. Get my second bedroom cleaned up - I hate clutter and my organization cart broke when I moved last summer so there has just been stuff sitting on the floor - man I hate that.
2. Buy a blue recycling box - cause I always forget!
3. Create some opportunities for myself and adhere to pre-planned deadlines...maybe...yes I must
4. I want to shop - and I don't usually want to shop, but for some reason I do. A two-night getaway would be just about awesome.
5. Massage time! I think I'm broken - but I still think my huge bruises are really quite attractive.

So with everything that has happened this past week I once again just have to stop to take notice and be thankful for all I've been blessed with. Some food for thought:

• A great attitude does much more than turn on the lights in our worlds; it seems to magically connect us to all sorts of serendipitous opportunities that were somehow absent before the change
• We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope. - Martin Luther King Jr.
• If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can't accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.- Rosalyn Carter

It's official - I think I should start stretching...or something. I played volleyball yesterday and today I can't stand up without a moan (and probably a few swears under my breath). My knees are quite lumpy and bruised...but I love bruises so that's okay. My elbows aren't bending too well and my back is feeling the effects every time that I breathe. But in all reality I love it. I miss being sore on a regular basis, and having bruised knees, and floor burn. For some reason I get fixated on such blemishes and think they are cool. So I think I'll just enjoy it. Besides it was well worth it - I did have lots of fun. Up till yesterday the sport of volleyball had been tainted by some less than enjoyable grade 10 experiences..but now I like it again. It only took 8 years to try it out for a second time.

I missed watching hockey this weekend. I got to watch a game Friday but that's it. I guess I should get used to it because before long it'll all be done. That sucks. Even last night - I was tired and content to relax but it just didn't seem right.

I have all these things going on in my mind...it's crazy. I wish I could just spew them all out but I don't think that I can. Maybe some day...maybe later. Anyways this week is a shorter week at school - I'm sure that it will still be far from short - but shorter is good with me. I'm hoping for one week without evaluations - a little normalcy would be great. Thinking about the week - I have a whole lot to get done. I should get to that.

The Best Part Of Today

I'm going to say that today was what I thought it would be. Dry, long, quite boring, and when I left I felt even more inadequate in terms of being a "teacher" than when I woke up this morning. I'm sure they were all good reminders but the constant talk about what needs to be done in terms of assessment makes me feel guilty and pretty much useless - I don't know what to do and don't think I do anything right. Oh Well. Here was the one thing I took from the day, however. I thought I'd share....now this made sense!

Perspective on Life According to George Costanza (Seinfeld)

"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus?!?I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you go live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, go collect all your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for High School. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm! Amen."

What's an hour?

At 2:00 this morning all the clocks in my apartment jumped ahead to 3:00. It got me to thinking about what an hour really means. I think an hour is a lot - you can fit a lot into an hour, or you can waste an hour easily. Most days I come to the conclusions that there is not enough time to do what you want to do. I find myself working till I sleep most evenings - and although I love the work and wouldn't want to trade it, sometimes it would be nice to be able to CHOOSE to work, instead of HAVE to work. Right now I work because there is stuff that has to get done, not necessarily because I am completely inspired and know what I want to do. It's a battle.

Imagine if by some magical wish we had extra time. What would you do if you had 28 extra hours of free time every week? (For you non-math people that would be 4 extra hours of free time a day). Here's what I would do, in no particular order:

1) I would have some fresh food on hand and make a home cooked meal at least 4 times a week. I would enjoy the cooking AND the clean up afterwards just knowing that I had time to do that. It wouldn't seem like a chore, but rather a luxury...and having company to eat with - that'd be great.

2) I would go for a walk and get fresh air....even in the cold winter. I did that regularly during the summer evenings and it was awesome. Me, my ipod, no distractions, time to think...or not think at all. When school started - that ended. I miss that.

3) I would read. I actually decided that I like to read. I would curl up in the blankets on my bed and TRY to turn of my mind and focus on a book. I bet that would be motivating - I think I should try that.

4) I would find a hobby, that in itself could take extra time. A hobby would be fun. I'd like to get good at something.

5) I would organize. I love organization - I think I would probably sit with my label machine and label everything. Then I could sit back and enjoy the labels. That would be relaxing.

Well that's the start to my list - I'm sure I'll continue thinking about that. But until those 4 extra hours magically appear I'll try and work these things in as I can. Time is precious - gotta make the most of it!

I gotta watch 4 hockey games this weekend, I'm bound to go through withdrawal when spring comes. I'm going to need something to occupy me...Tomorrow is PD day (hopefully I don't leave feeling completely inadequate, which is usually the case). Right now it's time to try and relax.

Here is an e-mail I got. I'm thinking most of them, but especially #6, #7, and #8 just might pertain to me, but what do I know.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag you about it every chance I get until you're Not.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will try to use only little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will laugh at your clumsy ass but I'll help you up.

Life is luck, make it!

It's funny how I go through the week just waiting for Friday and then before I know it that countdown just starts all over again. But what's even more ironic is that when Saturday morning surfaces I find myself sort of wishing it was the week because the week does usually give me a sense of purpose - and leaves me with less time to think. So my new goal - just enjoy the week (even Monday mornings when I feel like I'm in a state of shock). No countdowns necessary. Just try and do good that day and the rest will follow. And there is something good in every day - really this shouldn't be too hard! I think I can handle it.

These days my mind is a tangled web of thoughts - but I'm not even going to begin to unwind them. I've gotten used to it, and that's just how it will be for now.

I get the privelage of working with some grade 5 students for 35 minutes every day and they are cute. Here is a joke they told that made me laugh "What do you call a Monkey eating chips?" "A CHIPMUNK" aww to be young again.

This quote kinda reminds me of me...

"I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."