I am a Geek

Now that it's officially one week before my life completely changes gears once again, the inner geek in me is starting to emerge. Who am I fooling, it really never goes away. Ive spent a good few days at school and find that nothing has really changed. I still am immensely satisfied by the process of labelling just about everything possible. I seriously sometimes spend a good couple of hours labelling and organizing things when I could be using that time to actually do the work that needs to get done. I worked through some math problems and that too puts me in a giddy kind of state. I can sit and do math for hours - it really is that much fun. I miss my university math classes...those were the classes I looked forward to. A whole page of numbers and symbols and more numbers just to get to an answer that I probably didn't fully understand was great. It's all about a process - and I like processes.

Thinking about the year to come I'm filled with mixed feelings. Right now I'm anxious - sort of like a fish out of water. I guess it's the fear of the unknown; not knowing the dynamics of each class or whether my ideas will work with the groups of students that I have. Fear of letting the students down and hindering them instead of enabling and motivating them. I'm not scared of responsibility but rather by the magnitude of the responsibility of being a teacher. I will be in contact with more than a hundred kids on any single day and each of these kids deserves my respect, attention, and support. That's mind-boggling (at least to me it is). Although I'm anxious I'm also excited. I know that once school starts my days will be MUCH more entertaining. I will no longer have to laugh in solitude at the jokes that I make in my mind as there will actually be others around that are much funnier than me to make me laugh, smile, and feel as though I accomplished something during the day. I'm looking forward to random lunch hour games, sharing the love of math and science, playing some basketball, and watching the remarkable teenagers grow into unique individuals over the course of the year.

My goal this year as a "teacher" is to be better than last year. I can improve in every way possible so I figure a new year is a good time to give it a shot. I want to find ways to engage more of the students more often, help students find ways in which each one of them can succeed. I resolve to accept that bad days will happen and that sometimes activities and lessons won't go well. I am not a perfect teacher and never will be, and that's fine. I want to offer myself to others as a resource for understand. I also want to become a better student and seeker of what is. Reality is that I have lots of goals - most of which are hard to express. It is something I feel. Acting on this feelings is key. It's truly is all about the students.

I think geeks are sometimes sappy and idealistic. At least this geek is. I like to read motivational and inspirational passages. I think anyone who wants to improve is also willing to take risks. The following passage is one that I found encouraging, especially as I've been trying to establish a positive mindset for the upcoming school year.

Risk

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach out for another is to risk involvement.

To expose your feelings is to risk exposing your true self.

To place your ideas, your dreams, before a crowd is to risk their loss.

To love is to risk not being loved in return.

To live is to risk dying.

To hope is to risk despair.

To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

Persons who risk nothing do nothing, having nothing, and are nothing.

They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, or live.

Chained by their attitudes, they are slaves, for they have forfeited their freedom.

Only a person who risks is free.

Finally a break in the action...

So I've been meaning to write for a few days now. Figured this was the perfect opportunity since it's storming outside, I have no satellite signal, and it's too early to hop on the WiiFit. If I would step on it now it would probably tell me I was lighter than yesterday and it would be all proud of me...only because it's earlier in the day. That would be great...but that would mean the next time I went on I'd probably have "gained weight" again and it would ask me why. So I'll just wait and eliminate all those potential challenges.

This last week might have been the fastest passing week of the entire summer. It feels like yesterday I was packing to head home for the weekend. That's probably because I started "working" this week. I got somewhat of a broad plan together for the first semester courses, modified course outlines, and am actually well on my way to finishing up the first unit for Biology. It's kind of nice being able to "re-teach" some of the same courses this year cause I can change things to make them better. Yesterday I went to the school and I think that motivated me somewhat. Today I went to Staples. That just might make the top 5 list of best places ever. I have this fascination for all things "officeish". Binders make me smile, pens make me excited, markers, pencil crayons and colors bring light to my day, and even a simple pack of looseleaf can bring me joy. I really indulged today - if I saw it and liked it I pretty much bought it. BUT it was teacher appreciation day and I did get 10% off. Saving it! Oh and I got a complimentary gift - a roll of stickers, glue, reusable bag - how lovely! This afternoon I organized it all...oh how I love it when everything has a special place (and is labelled!). I expect that tomorrow will be much more of the same - getting ready for school.

Okay so last weekend was great. From the pictures below it's obvious that Macy and Cory got married. It was awesome. Macy is such a relaxed and laid back person and she did everything necessary to make the weekend great (hopefully she thought so too!) The wedding was simple and beautiful. Very genuine and relaxed. The reception was tons of fun - probably the most fun I've had this summer. I still feel honored to have been chosen to be a part of such a special day. Great times were had and great memories were made.

I'm thinking about how next week at this time I'll be totally stressed out...and of course I would think about that. I feel like its going to be the start of having "no life" again but at the same time it's my whole life. If that makes any sense. I think that I'm okay with that though...ya I am.

Amazing person...Beautiful Bride

Another Week...

This week...hmm...I really have nothing new to report. I pretty much kept things low key and worked on my "secret" (or not so secret) project. Ahh I forgot - that was a challenge in itself. When I put my mind to something I like to do it to the best of my ability - no cutting corners. I'm not one for sub-par products. For this particular video/photo project I had a great idea in mind. I started working on it a couple of weeks ago and was learning a new program as I went along (another thing I find to be great fun!). All was well for the first third of the project...then came the hurdles. For the sake of me not wanting to think about the technology tragedy, I'm going to keep this short. A song file, which I later discovered was probably converted in a faulty manner (I think), caused my saved project not to open....BUT...I had a back-up...no big deal. WRONG. I started working on my backup, which included changing the song to the faulty one (which I didn't know at the time) and after significant work I realized that this one too was no longer workable. That sent be back to square one. It took some consoling but I was reminded to turn lemons into lemonade and it worked. Started over now that I knew the program better meant that the second time around things looked a little bit better. It was an improved product - so for that I am thankful. I really had nothing else to do so the lost work is now seen as hours of practice. I finished and although I think I could do better the third time around...I don't have time so have to convince myself that I am satisfied.

I'm really not feeling super insightful today. No elaborate thoughts or complex ideas. I guess I'm just getting by...everybody has those days I think. I realize that I need to start focusing on school...and I think I'll do that as soon as tomorrow. I've been dreaming about it so that probably means I should act on those subconscious thoughts. Pretty sure that this week is going to fly by and then August is half gone - where has summer gone? I've been watching Olympics and get crazy focused on whatever is showing - so much so that I can't fall asleep. My whole sleeping pattern needs a major overhaul if I'm going to be able to function come September.

Sometimes I find those survey things that you see floating around in e-mails and whatnot entertaining. I came across one that was slightly unique and figured since I have nothing else to say I should just fill it out...so here it is...

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 19, and find line 4. Write it down.
blue. She reached for her hand and it was cold. Lilly started
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What's there?
my coffee table which is the holding place for my remotes and math magazines!
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
The Olympics - more specifically the start of the Men's 4 x 100 m Freestyle relay
4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
10:45
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
10:27 - wow I was way off - usually I'm close than that
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The television and the air conditioner
7. When did you last step outside?
About one hour ago
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at.
My other computer, I turned it off
9. What are you wearing?
My sleeping gear
10. Did you dream last night?
I dreamt that I went out but forgot to get dressed and then was trying to hide...I hate it when that happens. Another part of me dream included me being outside and there were grain bins around and I was sort of being sly trying to hide from people and then this kid, who I hardly know, came up behind me and dumped a whole tub of water on me. I had other dreams too but now I forget them...shoot.
11. When did you last laugh?
Well this afternoon I believe. Ohh ya, when the dude was filling in gas into his Harley and it sprayed out kind of volcano like and went all over. He was swearing, I laughed but then he glared at me.
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
I have nothing on the walls...pretty boring.
13. Seen anything weird lately?
Hmmm, yes. A biker woman put a plastic bag on her chest to warm her lungs and there was a woman riding her bike and just ran right into the fence...maybe that was more funny than weird. Ohh and I find fencing to be weird...their helmets light up! It's cool.
14. What do you think of this quiz?
I think it's a good way to occupy my time
15. What is the last film you saw?
Well this morning I watched Grumpy Old Men - and I laugh every time. Priceless.
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Pay off student loans and car loans, then buy a house and a bosch machine. Then I'd buy my dad a boat and a camper and my mom something too - just not sure what she would want.
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
I like to read obituaries - although people may know that. Umm I don't like cinnamon really but have been having intense cravings for a cinnamon bun. I make cake batters and sometimes make about 8 cupcakes and eat the rest of the batter.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
That no child goes through life without having someone who loves them and cares for them. That all children have a loving, safe, and enriching home in which they are raised.
19. Do you like to dance?
It's fun...dance like nobody is watching!
20. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Well for some reason I like the letter K and the letter M...
21. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Same as above...but I also like the letter D I think...who knows!
22. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Well I'd like to visit abroad...I would consider living there for a short time period maybe if there was some opportunity...but I don't forsee that happening...
23. What do you want to say to God when you reach the pearly gates?
Maybe Thank You

Frisbee can be Dangerous

I've been sore a lot this summer. I don't know what it is but I seem to be suffering, on a regular basis, by some type of self-inflicted soreness. I think I am getting old. Just the past 2 weeks...well I have been using the WiiFit and got diagnosed with a "WiiFit Age" of 39. Maybe that isn't too far off and that is why I am dealing with this soreness. I've realized that those activities are something to do in complete solitude. The one time I did do it with people watching...my hula hooping skills brought on some hearty laughs. My ability to head a soccer ball was apparently reason enough for some ferocious roars. It was all in fun though, and come to think of it and audience is sorta fun. However, the yoga poses need to be done alone...cause I feel like a fruit when I do them...which means I probably look 15 times more ridiculous.

The latest pains, however, were the result of the frizknock game that was held this past Saturday in Mmerfeld. Those who really know me understand that I play ever game competitively. ..and if it doesn't show I'm just doing a really good job of hiding it. Well when the frisbee got brought out and there were stakes on the line it was only natural for me to try and catch everything that came my way...even if it was thrown with the speed of a bullet. Not only was I not victorious, but I came out of the match with a bruised left forearm that is still inflicting a significant amount of pain today. The side wounds, which aren't nearly as bothersome, are a slightly bruised stomach and clavicle. But it was fun, and I'm sure I'll play again...so long as I win next time. The night also included some "stellar" singing, great food, a sweet fire and just some good times! Cory and Christine are great hosts!

Other than that the weekend was pretty quiet. I have about 12 days to finish a photo presentation for Cory and Macy's wedding. I've been dabbling with it but I'm not sure if Im happy with the outcome so far. I also need more pictures, but that has posed to be a whole nother challenge. Hopefully it comes together and looks somewhat decent. Maybe by some way of a miracle I'll also get some additional pictures.

Tonight I had a super supper with my mom. It was delicious. We went to Kelsey's - one of my favorite places. Ended it off with icecream. A great way to end a long weekend. I'm excited for tommorrow too. I get to see a pretty special person who I haven't seen in a long time. I'm sure the catching up will make for a great day!