Change it up

The wind is howling outside. The air is cold and crisp. I guess it's a reminder that winter is just around the corner. Being curled up under a blanket is made appealing on days like this. I don't always like winter. It gets cold in here because I refuse to turn on my heat. I just use more layers. I do like my electric blanket though. Especially on nights after hockey games. It's one of the best ways to stay warm and magically lulls me to sleep.

I am not looking forward to the next few weeks. My to-do list is growing at, what seems to be, an exponential rate. I get these anxious feelings cause I'm never anywhere near the point that I should be. I have marking to catch up on, all while planning future units and just trying to preserve my sanity. It makes me short of breath just thinking about it.

I changed things up this weekend and actually made a public appearance. It's been a while since I've done so much as be awake past 10:00. Although I didn't get as much sleep as I'm accustomed to I feel more rested today than I have in a long while. I guess getting out is somewhat healthy. Last night was the first night in a few months where I slept soundly until I woke up in the morning. I had no thoughts of school at all, which is probably why I feel more rested.

Yesterday was enjoyable. I spent the day watching Volleyball in Altona. The Grunthal boys won the whole tournament, and the girls came a close second (but should have won). Then there was supper and an evening with Christine. Cory joined later and it was just lots of fun. I could have even taken pictures, but of course, I forgot my camera. Go figure.

My new goal is to get a smartboard. I think I should take out a loan and buy one. I'm really quite frustrated with the lack of technology in school. There are so many awesome resources online for math, and especially biology, but there are no means to incorporate them as often as I'd like to. Most days I leave feeling like I didn't adequately explain or illustrate the ideas clearly or in a way that was meaningful to the students. It kills me because I know that there are so many technology tools out there that would interest and engage the students, but that I don't have the means to use them. Maybe one day...even a simple projector that worked consistently and could be accessed on a daily basis would be a good start. For now I guess I'll just stick to the old school methods of chalk boards and overhead projectors. I love how in applied math we are supposed to cover a unit on spreadsheets but don't have access to a computer lab. That's fun.

I need Halloween costume ideas but once again I've waited till the last minute and won't have time to put anything of quality together. You'd think I'd learn.

I came across this. I think it's a good thought for the day:

" Looking good on the outside isn't half as important as being good on the inside. Love those how you wish to be loved. Speak to those how you wish to be spoken to. Admire those how you wish to be admired. Surround yourself with those you wished to be surrounded by. Think about those how you wish to be thought about. Remember those how you wished to be remembered. Respect those how you wish to be respected."

~Sandie Cotant

Blah

This week was not my favorite of weeks. Sometimes short weeks seem to be the longest of them all. I made it through and will be ready to do it again on Monday cause I have no choice.

"When the weight of the world bears down so strong you leave footprints on the street and there's too many miles to face wihtout a few more hours to sleep. The storm clouds overhead won't shed any rain to quence your thirst.." That is sort of how I feel I guess. It's from a Sugarland song. Oh how I love working while listening to my music...or at least I love the music part of it. It makes me work better. It helps for a lot of things. But I won't even start that rant cause it may never end.

I shouldn't complain about sleep as that is something I've been getting plenty of on the weekends. Last night was no exception. I can barely find myself staying awake until 9:00. Last night 8:00 was a struggle. I wake up early but still...who does that on a Friday night? I do.

The Bombers game is pissing me off so that won't keep me entertained for long. Toronto is on Hockey Night in Canada and I really dislike them so I don't know if I can watch that either. I put in 8 hours of school work today so I don't really feel like doing more. I'll be bored I guess. At least I am ready for Monday. I decided to designate Saturday as my work day cause I thought it may help me relax more tomorrow knowing that I'm ready.

I used to have these deep and inspirational thoughts that I could write about but apparently that too, has escaped me. I'm in the mood for a hot tub. It's perfect weather outside for such a luxury. I really miss summer. Summer was good.

I guess it's back to the couch. Really I shouldn't say "back to" because I haven't been there all day. I guess I'll sign off with a few more thoughts from Sugarland, "When your faith is stretched so thin that you can see straight through your soul. And you can't find a nickel to buy a smile because you pockets all got holes. You wanna shut the door and hide before the day can get much worse..."

I Like Clean Pipes

Ever since I moved into this apartment my sink had performed less than satisfactory in the drainage department. I could deal with it, but had to make sure I didn't focus on the sludge that I could see in the pipes every time I look down when washing my hands, face, or brushing my teeth. One time my curiosity got the best of me and I pushed my finger down there only to feel the gross composition of whatever molds happen to build up in pipes. It was nasty. This last week it got to the point where my sink decided not to drain at all. That's when I became courageous enough to call the landlord. Much to my surprise, I came home the next day to an incredibly foul smelling apartment, and a bathroom that looked like it had lived through a tornado BUT a sink that had clean pipes! I can now look down the pipe and see nothing. Washing my hands is such a pleasurable experience now and the simple fact that I can turn the taps on to full pressure is exciting. My sink stays a lot cleaner too. Sometimes asking for help is a good thing.

Thanksgiving weekend is upon us and there is much to be thankful for. I know that I probably complain too much when venting on a day at school but quite honestly I'm thankful I have been blessed with the opportunity to "teach." It makes me happy to go each day. I only get stressed and frustrated cause I care. That's why things bother me. I'm also happy that I have people that are willing to hear my complaints and not pass judgement. Would it not be for them I would not have made it through my first two years. Another year, another day, and another opportunity. All things to be thankful for. If I would sit down and make a list it would obviously be a lengthy one, and even then I know that I'd forget things. I am a lucky kid. I do realize this but most days probably fail to remember to what extent this is true.

The NHL finally started its season. Hockey night in Canada makes Saturdays at the apartment much more tolerable. However, I'm still not sold on the the new Hockey Night in Canada Anthem. Why do you go get rid of something that just makes sense? I guess sometimes change, even the smallest of changes, are hard to accept. I'll work on the adjustment. What I am thrilled about right now is that Toronto is getting killed. That always makes me smile.

My dad got me the sweetest sweater on his trip. I love hoodies and this one will get it's fair share of use. He surprises me with his sense of style sometimes. Although I don't have much sense of style myself so I'm probably pretty easy to please. As long as it has a hood I'm usually satisfied. I should get him to do my shopping more often.

I don't really think I have a brother any more. And that's not his fault - that's my own. The occasional e-mail gets sent but that's not quite the same. I need to make that effort. I really haven't seen much of anybody or anything the past month and a half. I'm pretty sure the kids I teach know more about what's going on with me than my own flesh and blood. That's probably where I need to work on that thing called balance. That's bad of me. I seldom take initiative to make plans even though I often have ideas that I think are grand. Generally by the time Friday rolls around I'm ready to have a quiet night of "me" time.

I think it's time for a rest. Icecream would be good too...maybe tomorrow.

I guess that one good thing about not being able to sleep is that it sure makes it a lot easier to get up in the mornings. I suck at sleeping on Sunday nights. Whatever could possibly run through my head certainly does. The night when I need the most sleep I seem to fail. This morning was altogether strange. It was rainy and as a result was darker than normal when I left. I kept envisioning things on the road and it was slightly scary. I kept seeing the silhouettes of people and things in the mist ahead. Obviously it was a mere figment of my imagination but still made for a highly agitating ride.

My dad has been gone since Friday. He went to Talledega to was the nascar race. I'm interested to hear about his time away. I'm sure that would be quite the experience. At least if I had gone I'd have pictures to post. He should be coming back tonight if all goes as planned.

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Albert Einstein

It made sense...sort of...

Just finished day one of a two day inservice on the topic "Relationships Matter." Today was a long day. I know that I drifted into a daydream type state on a couple of occasions but I managed to pick up a few key ideas. There was a lot being said that I could understand, and perhaps relate to, but it was too much to digest in one day. It will probably take me the rest of my life to sort through what I actually heard. If I had paid attention the WHOLE day I'd probably need two lives to sort everything out, so maybe I did myself a favor. Anyways, Dr. Gordon Neufeld talked about how "for every thought there is an anti-thought." I left today much like I leave every day school day or inservice session. I left with tons of internal conflict. Not knowing if anything that I do is good enough, or the "right" thing, and so on and so forth. Today I learned that this uncertainty is actually a good thing. I find comfort in the fact that internal confusion is healthy and this reinforces the fact that I am doing what I care about. Instinctively I knew this was perfectly normal, but it was reassuring to hear someone say it.

Im now going to take my divided mind and try to allow it to relax. Maybe a good sleep will help sort out what I heard today so that tomorrow I can once again be prepared to experience a healthy dose of internal battles.

So Long September

I think we all do some strange things at the oddest of times. At least I do. Last night I woke up with one of those killer monster cramps in my right calf muscle. This is powerful enough to wake me up and almost cry from the pain. It doesn't go away quickly. You want to move, but you can't. Well I think that this threw off my whole night cause I woke up about 20 minutes earlier than normal and for some reason was under the impression that I needed to wash my bedding. I pulled off my sheets to realize that I'm not allowed to start laundry before 8 in the morning. I am generally out of here by 6:30 so I'm not sure what I was thinking...So I came home this evening to a pile of laundry. At that point I had no choice but to finish it up. I hate putting sheets on my bed too. I think cause it's against the wall. I don't like creases or an unfinished look but not having access to all sides makes the bed making job a challenge. At least tonight will be filled with the sweet smells of bounce sheets. It was probably worth the struggles.

This evening I had a craving for a Cesear Salad Pita from the food court at St. Vital. I hate going out during the week but I brought myself to do it. I get to the food court only to find that PitaPizzaz has been closed. It is being replaced by some other chain. I couldn't believe it. That's the second time that's happened in as many months. I'm not a big cinnamon fan but on occassion I have these strange cravings for cinnamon buns. So one day I act on it and decide to go to Cinnzeo at the food court. Of course I arrive to find it's not longer in business. So it goes.

I realized that I need to get out somewhere, and I need to do so soon. I haven't had any pictures to post in a long while. I haven't gone anywhere in a long while either. I think that's good though.

That was one boring post. It sucks cause I had so many things running through my head a mere hour ago. Maybe the ideas will come back to me tomorrow. I can't even try to sound intelligent right now - I'm too tired. I seem to have adopted a new bed time of around 8:30 which means I'm about 40 minutes overdue. I am going to try to stay awake to watch new captain Roberto Luongo tend the net against Calgary. I'm doubtful I'll make it till the end of the first...