Dose of motivation

This week brought with it little glimpses of motivation. It all started Monday (a wonderful day off of school). I actually got to watch Oprah (oh how I miss University days when that was just a permanent fixture in my day!). Anyways, it was all about "Horton Hears a Who!" (which is a movie that I will be watching - I have no problems going alone). Anyways, Jim Carrey (the voice of Horton) was on the show and talked about the Law of Attraction. What it boiled down to was bringing happiness into one's life NOW instead of waiting for it to come. Happiness is a choice. It really comes down to attitude and trying to look for the "happy" in things. It's not something that will magically show up on your door step. I think we all know this to some extent - just choose to ignore it. I'm guilty. A quote from the show that became ingrained in my mind: "You're not going to attract the person that's right for you until you become a whole person yourself." Oh how true. It takes time to become a "whole person" and although I'm sure I'm not all the way there yet - I know I'm a lot closer to being there than I was even a year ago. I feel more content with me, what I want, and where I want to go. If you don't know who you are, you are more likely to get caught up on the IDEA of having an acquaintance than actually making sure the relationship is "healthy". I've been there - it wasn't good - but in hindsight those are the types of experiences that do help make you whole! How close am I? - nobody knows - time will tell!

We had an inservice on Friday and I felt that the morning speaker was moving and inspirational. He struck a "nerve" and just reminded me why I did choose to become a teacher. As much as I love math (I am a nerd) it's not about teaching fractions or algebra - it's about the kids. It's about creating moments - and that's what the kids will remember. He raised a few challenges for us as educators and it really made me stop and reflect on the environment I create in the classroom...I think there are some good things happening but there are also places where I can work to do better.

The speaker was talking about our goals and asked the following: "What is the one thing you would do right now if you knew that you would not fail?" I've thought about that quite a bit the past few days and have some ideas - but for now I'll keep those to myself (which is probably because I'm scared of being vulnerable or failing?!?!). Think to yourself - what are your goals.

Finally, the Maroons won the opening series last night. The means my hockey watching days live on for a little while longer. Cory impressed me all series - met (and surprassed) my expectations. Good luck next series! And he was a trooper this weekend going to Mongos to eat (good guy!) and the food was great!

The Broken Clock is a Comfort

First off I need to send a few thank you's. This last week was a long one but thanks to a few gracious people I got through just fine. I don't do valentines day - it's not really my thing - never has been...probably never will be. But...this year a few kind gestures definately brought a smile to my face. I got a card from my Grandma (seriously - you couldn't get a better valentine than that!) and I also got a cake delivered to the school. I shared with all my classes and it was delicious! Not expected, not deserved, but certainly appreciated. A few of my students gave me valentines cards...always cute...and of course I'll save them. We had our last basketball game on Thursday and 6 of the girls had to be driven back early from a band concert in Winnipeg so that they could play. When they got back they ran to my room and said they had a surprise for me. They felt bad that I hadn't had a chance to be home for supper at all that week so they had brought me a sub from Subway. I had been to subway with them once (maybe twice) before and they must've been observant because they had got me a sub EXACTLY how I get it every time. I was impressed and spoiled. Then they went on to end the season with a win - what an awesome group of girls. Coaching takes A LOT of extra time, makes for some long nights, but with that group of girls it was more than worth it...and I will miss it!

My parents need to be thanked as well. I did my fair share of complaining and venting this past week and they are always there to listen and lend support. Even when I deserve nothing more than to be told to "shut up" they sit there, listen, and have a way of making everything seem okay. They drive to Winnipeg during the crappiest weather just to accompany me to lunch. I wish I could give only half of what people do for me. Sometimes I think it must be hard to love me.

Cory had an awesome game last night. I missed the game Tuesday so I was excited to be able to watch Saturday. He played with confidence and worked extremely hard every shift. Got a goal in return. I can't believe I let myself miss out on so much hockey last year - I was dumb. He's excited for playoffs and I'm excited to watch and do my regular sideline "coaching". haha. What a lucky guy.

I have been thinking lately (yup...imagine that) and I don't know why but I have a feeling the next few months will bring forth some decisions that need to be made. I think I just feel like I'm ready for a change - I'm just not sure what kind of change that will be. I need to step out of my comfort zone and challenge myself. I'm satisfied right now but I have visions of what I want and where I want to be and now it's just a matter of getting there. The broken clock is a comfort, helps bring peace, helps me sleep at night, and helps savor those one-of-a-kind moments. But in reality the clock keeps ticking and I guess it's really a matter of trying to move forward more often than moving back.

"I'm just a small town girl and that's all I'll ever be."

Bananas make me happy

"Melissa I don't think I'd go so far as to say you were pathetic...you just suck at making decisions." I do suck at making decisions...I think...haha. No that's a downfall of mine. I like to think I have things all sorted out in my mind but then when it comes down to it - it's really all just a tangled mess. I think I avoid decisions. For now it's working so why change.

"If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise. "

Now about bananas - they make my day better. It's the perfect start to the day. It gives me energy and motivation. Combine it with a tall glass of chocolate milk and you can't get much better. Last week I ran out of bananas mid-week, and those last few mornings were rough. I don't know what it is but I really need that dose of potassium to get me going in the morning.

I counted today - only around 31 school days until spring break. Somewhere around there anyways. Hmm I wonder what I'll do during the break. I think I'm okay with doing nothing but it would be nice to get away for a day or two. We'll see what happens. This weekend is a long weekend - that'll be great! I'll actually be able to enjoy a Sunday - and if I happen to stay on top of things this week maybe I can enjoy a Monday as well! What a treat!

Time to relax. My mind hurts. It gets way too much exercise in one day - that's my fault though - I don't know how to shut it off. Tomorrow we get a break from regular classes for Winter Fun Day. I get to go swimming and bowling - should be great!

Things I miss...

The new semester is underway - two days gone already. It's been a good change but sometimes I'm left thinking that may not be a big enough change. That's a hard one to explain so I won't even try.

I do miss the witty grade 10s but I think that the new classes will provide a fair share of entertianment. We just need some time to get settled in. The grade 10s still do have their regular lunch hour visit which keeps me on my toes. Evaluation is tomorrow and yup I'm nervous. There is something unsettling about being watched by some Superintendant who really doesn't know you at all. What's worse is he is making notes of your every move. The timing of the whole event makes me uneasy. We will be three days in and aren't into anything incredibly exciting just yet.

Basketball season is almost over. Just a couple more weeks. I must say that I'm proud of my girls and how much they have improved. They play with lots of determination and show a desire to learn. We won a game this last weekend in Lac du Bonnet. It was exciting and I'm happy that their hard work paid off. I miss playing basketball - I miss the competition and excitement. I still find it hard to just sit on the bench and coach and really wish I could still be out there playing.

I guess I should get some sleep - the mornings always seem to come quickly and the days dont leave any time to relax. I'm still trying to get stuff put together for this semester - as of right now it's a day to day sort of adventure - which I'm not a fan of. I like to be prepared. Sometimes all I need is a little stability - a distraction to keep my mind off of things...but we will save that for another day.

"Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible."