Holidays...now what?

So another school year has come to an end. The last week of school passed without incident and although some days seemed to drag on forever, I did make it through. Wednesday was grad night - and it was awesome. It was an evening filled with emotion as you really become to attached to these kids and realize that next year you won't have the privilege of seeing and visiting with them every. The girls looked amazing in their beautiful dresses and the guys all looked so grown up and handsome. Overall a great night.

I haven't really grasped this whole summer holiday thing yet. Friday I fell asleep at an incredibly early hour. Saturday Cory and Christine were kind enough to invite me to camp with them for the night...so that's what I did. Saturday brought scattered showers and some intense winds, but the evening turned out to be beautiful. I was spoiled with a satisfying supper and then Smores for dessert. What a treat.

Sitting by the fire that night just listening to the conversations (what I do best) I came to a few realizations. Now let me be clear, I wasn't mad at anyone for what they were saying, it just made me think about my own life...and sometimes my opinions on the subject differ.

First, I have never been on a plane or on any kind of winter holiday. I was the odd one out because everyone else there had been away more than once. I heard lots of stories about how some airlines were crowded and uncomfortable. I was sitting there thinking that they could put me in a Pet Porter and stuff me in the cargo section of a plane... I'd just be thankful that I was going somewhere exotic for a week or more. Travelling is an opportunity that not everyone gets, so if it means being crowded for a couple of hours on the flight suck it up and be grateful! Isn't it worth it?!?

Then came some more complaining and nagging about what their husbands/wives would do around the home. The conversation was laced with complaints and a general lack of appreciation. I am fully aware that it was all being said in fun and that they don't seriously feel that negative about things...but once again I was the odd one out so my outlook was slightly different. Here are some things that I wish they knew about what it was living like alone (and I wonder how many of them have ever lived completely alone...)

• Teaching is a rewarding job but there are days that are frustrating, challenging, leaving you on the brink of tears. On those days I come home with nobody to vent to and nobody to tell me that tomorrow will be better. I can phone somebody, but it's not quite the same has having someone there to help make things better.
• Most days I come home with stories of humor and success...but when I come home I have nobody to celebrate those things with. It doesn't make them less meaningful but sometimes all you want to do is share.
• After long days I come home and if I want to eat I have to cook food for myself. Cooking for one person isn't the most satisfying (although I'm happy I can eat!). That means I get to clean up after me too. The long day then gets longer.
• I have nobody else to depend on to get the cleaning and laundry done. It will only get done when I get to it.
• I wake up in the morning and the first thing I do is make my bed. There is nobody to convince me that today is going to be a good day but myself. Sometimes it would be nice to not be able to make the bed because there was somebody else still sleeping and was there to send you off.
• In the evening I often do a few more hours of school work. There is nobody there saying "stop - you are prepared enough." I'm not saying that I would necessarily listen, but having that extra encouragement is never a bad thing.
• There is nobody here whom you can share a random laugh or thought with. I know sometimes you just don't want to see people or you don't want people talking to you - but knowing that there is somebody in the next room is reassuring.

The list could go on. I'm not complaining about my life - I love it and am blessed. I do have a home to come to, food on the table, blankets to keep me warm and an air conditioner to keep me cool. But those people who have someone to share those things with have no idea how lucky they are. They should not take it for granted and should be grateful. They don't know what they have until it's been taken away. Having somebody there is a way to escape the pressures of every day life.

As for me, this living on my own has probably been the best thing. When it comes time to have to share my life I think I've grown to learn that it is not something I will take for granted. There will be days that I want to be left alone - we all have those days...but then I'll appreciate that I have someone there to ask to leave me alone...having someone to share things with is a gift.

Unforgettable

Tomorrow is graduation day at school. There are some pretty special kids graduating and I will definitely miss them! This is only my second year of teaching but I'm pretty sure that every year will be unforgettable. The biggest reason why is that kids, even high school kids, do care unconditionally. They do things that show that they care, even though sometimes those things are hard to see at first. There really is something good in every day at school. I feel that some kids have had to go through way too much by the time they graduate (which is saddening), and others are still completely innocent having no idea what the world can throw their way. When I graduated I fit into the latter category.

When I graduated I had no idea the challenges that life could present. Up until that point life was just a comfortable routine. You go to school, get cared for, have the opportunity to play sports, go home, and repeat in the morning. By the time that I graduated I knew that some people were hard to trust, yet I still believed that everyone deserved the benefit of the doubt. I never been done wrong. I actually think University was much the same - it was routine, I was responsible to myself and that's it. I could go home on weekends and leave my problems behind. At the time, however, things did seem stressful and at some times, terrible. It wasn't until the last 2 years, after starting "teaching" that I have experienced some of the less desirable things that the world has to offer. The past two years have been filled with "learning experiences." Reflecting on these experiences here are some things I would tell myself if I were to write a letter to the Melissa that I was when I graduated University:

• You really never know which day is going to be your last - so don't take it for granted.
• Learn to be strong because when you start teaching there are going to be kids who are depending on you and looking to you for guidance.
• Never stop listening - sometimes all people need is for someone to listen
• Don't ever let someone into your life who belittles you and makes you feel undesirable - you deserve to be respected.
• Give everybody the benefit of the doubt, but be ready to be hurt. There are people who will use you...and sometimes they will do it more than once.
• Even when you have the most noble of intentions it doesn't mean others feel the same.
• Have the attitude in which you are willing to believe that there is something good in every day.
• You can learn a lot from those younger and older than you.
• You won't know why things happen...they just do.
• There are going to be days when it seems like you always fall short...but one day you will feel like you won it all (umm I hope that's true...)

Most of the above list is a work in progress. My wish for the graduates this year is that they are given the same opportunities that I have been given. That they follow their dreams but never disrespect others or compromise their own character on the way. They will each have their own experiences which shape them, and I know that I will continue to have experiences that will somehow help me continue to grow.

Happy Father's Day

Today is Father's Day. My dad is great and would do absolutely anything for me. Sometimes I wonder why I got so lucky. There are so many people out there who would do anything to feel even just a fraction of the love, support, and belonging that I feel on a daily basis. I don't take it for granted, even though sometimes I act as though I do. I do realize that I am blessed and I do love my dad to no end. I think days like these, in which we honor our parents, are great, but it's more important to remember those loved ones in our lives each and every day.

Some things about my dad. Well he seems to love a lot of things, fishing, farming, wine making, and watching racing just to name a few. I don't know a lot of things that make him mad (well except me sometimes...) But even when I do make him made it's hard to tell. He has shown me what patience is all about - and I've used his shining example to help me during the past two years in the classroom (and boy does my patience ever get tested some days!) My dad is quiet yet outgoing. He likes to talk more than me but is also a good listener. I love spending time with my dad. Over the past number of years the capacity in which we can spend time together has changed. When I was young we used to spend our Sundays playing soccer, baseball, football, or whatever other sport I was entertained by at the time. Now that I've apparently "grown up" our time together isn't as spontaneous but rather planned. We go out to eat, watch TV, or whatever else we feel like doing. Some of my favorite times, however, are spent fishing and watching hockey. You can tell that I spent a lot of time with him at the arena growing up cause out post-game analysis of any game is generally quite similar. We are also a pretty good team when it comes to ganging up on my mom. All in good fun of course. I could go on for a long time about my dad. I am thankful for any time I get to spend with him, including today. I love you dad and look forward to some serious fishing this summer!!

Tomorrow is the last Monday of classes for this school year. Crazy how fast time goes. I am overwhelmed with all that needs to get done and I would get into it but seriously, if I think about it, it feels like I can't breathe. We don't want that - so I'll just avoid the subject. I like to set goals for myself, so as far as this week goes here are few:
1) Just to get through the week - the days may be long but I can do it!
2) Have my physics and biology exam made up by Wednesday night. (oh that might be a stretch - however I am 2/3 done my physics exam)
3) Have all my marking done as it comes it - currently speaking I am caught up but I know that it won't take until tomorrow at 8:45 before something new comes in.
4) Smile and actually enjoy the last few days of school!

Okay time for some relaxation. Now that I've just run through my head everything I need to get done I'm not sure that relaxation will happen. But...we'll see.

A Quick Shout Out

I have the best brother and sister (inlaw) ever. Today is Cory and Christine's anniversary. I just wanted to send my warm thoughts and best wishes. I love both of you very much and am blessed to have loving and caring friends like you in my life.

INSPIRATION

You two are an inspiration to the world.

Looking at you, I know that

soulmates can find and keep each other,

commitment means something,

a great team can overcome life’s troubles,

and love triumphs over all.
Happy Anniversary!

It's now official - only one more Monday of classes left. I think that's probably for the better since I'm suffering from a severe lack of motivation. I'm fine when I'm at school but getting stuff done outside of school hours has proven to be nothing but a struggle. I get overwhelmed because I feel like I have so much to get done - like writing all the exams. I guess I will do that this weekend. If I take one solid day I should get finished..maybe I'll start tomorrow night, and Wednesday night. I love how I'm trying to convince myself that everything is fine and will get done when I could be using this time for something productive. Instead I'm sitting here doing nothing.

The weekend was a good one. Actually probably the first decent weekend in quite some time. Friday was my personal day so I went for a massage. It was sweet except for the massage girl really seemed to find it necessary to share with me her whole life story. I really just wanted to relax - it was still good though, next time I know to bring ear plugs.

Saturday I went with Macy to pick out some shoes. Then we went for lunch at Pony Corral and had some drinks on the patio. It was a beautiful day. I've decided that I'm going to chill on the patio frequently this summer. We also visited some wedding dress stores and tried on some of the most ridiculous looking dresses ever.

Sunday I did some shopping. It was one of those days where my infamous window shopping technique just seemed to work. It might have worked a little bit too well actually. I probably got some stuff that I didn't really need. It was nice of my mom to come out though cause the day wouldn't have been the same alone.

It seems to have rained a lot lately. Rain does help me relax, but sometimes it's nice to see the sun too. I love warm weather but that also means that I have to turn on my air conditioner. I went through the whole winter without heat - but there is no way that I can go through the whole summer without AC. Which sorta sucks - cause that means I'll actually have to use hydro. I'm a little stingy that way...I admit it.

Okay, now that it's 9:00 I can get ready for bed - what a life! Tuesdays sometimes feel long so I gotta get prepared! I didn't have a lunch today cause I had no food - but I packed myself a stellar lunch for tomorrow - I'm really excited!

I think I might be sore...

Well I'm quite exhausted. Today was the highschool dragonboat races. Our school entered 2 teams and I was one of the "captains" or "coaches"...whatever you want to call it. Our teams had 2 practices in the past month and today was race day. I arrived at around 9 to make sure everything was set to go. There really was the potential for a lot to go wrong. We had 40 kids coming and they weren't on bus - they all had their own rides. Last night I dreamt that only half showed up and some got lost and it was just a disaster. I knew the day was going to be a good one when EVERYONE showed up, and EVERYONE was on time. (Well actually one group got lost but thanks to the fact that the races were delayed we all arrived in plenty of time!)

The first race of the day. I was so nervous - it's my competitive nature. As soon as there is something on the line I get somewhat intense. The boat that I was one raced first. We met in the marshaling area, then boarded the boat and headed out. Our start was great! We were cruising...but then we got cut off by the green SRSS boat to our right and we had to head towards shore. So everyone stopped and then we all started again. Despite getting of course we still finished the heat in third place with a time that I thought was very respectable at the time. The second boat raced shortly after us. They put out a strong showing. It was exciting being able to watch them and cheer them on.

After a considerable wait we were ready for our second race of the day. We were once again pitted against the team the cut us off in our initial race. Time for revenge. We had something to prove - and we did just that. Our team was solid that race - we pulled away from the competition and won by a significant margin. Once the race was over we learned that we had just finished the race in a time of 2:24. This was a full 8 seconds better than our first race...and it happened to end up being the second fastest time from any boat when all the heats were over! How impressive and how proud I am of those kids!!

To make the stories from a long day short...they averaged the two heat times for every boat to determine who we would race in the playoffs. Our boat finished fourth overall (out of 24). We were in the first playoff heat. The second boat finished 12th overall - something to be proud of. So we were under the impression we had a bit of a break so half of our boat headed to subway for a well deserved meal. Little did we know that they were no longer taking a break. Half our boat was missing when we were being called to the marshaling area. It was stressful...but they ran back from subway and got back JUST before we loaded the boat. We were all a little tired and frazzled but still made an impressive showing in the final race. We finished fourth in our heat, but our time was still an impressive 2:26. It turned out being the fourth best time overall...but because of the setup we didn't get into the championship final (cause they choose top teams from the playoff heats). The other boat was impressive in the playoffs as well - probably racing the best the did all day. ANYWAYS...the day was great - the kids were AMAZING. I am honored to be associated with such a fine group. They were excellent representatives for the school and community.

I have lots of pictures from the event but I can't really post too many of them - because I don't know if some people would appreciate seeing pics of them posted on some random web page...so I did some cropping and now you get to see me...I apologize. I'm tired though, and ya, I'm pretty sure that I'm going to be quite sore tomorrow and probably the whole week. Good thing I took a personal day on Friday - I'm definitely going for a massage!!