Broke...but Happy

Just got back from the two-night adventure to Grand Forks. It was a definite success as I seemed to find something in almost every store we went in. Only thing I didn't find...a swimsuit...I guess the three year quest for a swimsuit will continue! Another highlite was playing Catch Phrase with my dad (he might be the worst player ever - but he tries hard). It's been a while since I've laughed that hard - his clues were probably worse than bad...but still funny!!

I also managed to cross a few things off my list. I went with my mom to see the movie P.S. I love you - and it was a great chick flick. I laughed and maybe even cried a little. The preview for The Bucket List also played - that's another sentimental movie that I want to see..made me think of my own list. I also made the trip to Happy Harry's with my dad. It was great. After 30 minutes of perusing the shelves the decisions were finally made. Not only did I get my apple schnapps...but I also got to pick two other bottles...sweet deal! Now I'm just waiting for New Years! About the list - don't think one week is enough to get everything done so I either have to be creative (like go skiing down a ditch) or I will extend the deadline till the end of Winter...we will see what happens.

Here's what surprised me most about this past week. I'm used to being by myself, doing things in a particular way and keeping things somewhat organized (some may say I'm way too set in my ways). Anyways...after almost a week at home - in close quarters with at least 2 other people - I have made the adjustments to make the week flow smoothly (no major altercations haha!) I still let some of a pecularities show through - but for the most part have been quite flexible. That being said, however, I am ready for my own space once again - and my own bed - I just need a semi to haul everything back! Tonight it's off to watch Cory play hockey (or at least attempt to play after a week of doing nothing but eating and maybe some beverage sipping) and then tomorrow I get to go back to my place! YAY back to routine!

Now it's time to really focus on the hockey game. Oh how enjoyable holidays can be!

Christmas!

Christmas is now 364 days away. It's crazy how much you look forward to it and then suddenly it's all done. Christmas this year was great. Once again I was spoiled like crazy. I got all sorts of random things like a rolling pin, towel warmer, alcohol dispenser, wii games (I LOVE being a doctor in trauma center ER!), a second dance pad, toaster oven, pajamas, clothes, games, headphones, lotion, and lots of other cool stuff. I know that things I will remember though won't be the gifts, it will be the things that happen. Like:

• Mom and dad misplacing one of my gifts and looking for it for a solid 2 hours yesterday before we started opening. (Note: it still hasn't been found!)


• My mom and dad playing Wii and trying out Dance Dance Revolution (I am certain that Wes almost broke the mat he was stomping so hard).


• Playing mario and sonic olympic games (and once again, pretty much demolishing Cory).


• Watching people's expressions when they open gifts that my dad has wrapped - cause you never know what to expect! Like the "matching" socks that Cory and Christine got - and what my dad hid inside!


• The fact that out of the 5 gifts that I got Cory the one that he enjoyed the most was the toy John Deere tractor and air seeder. This wasn't much of a surprise actually - it was just cute.


• All the food - breakfast was great and supper was greater! The thing about supper is that there is always talk about Christmas past - memories - and I know that a few years from now we will all be laughing about something from this Christmas.

So Christmas was great and I need to send a huge thanks out to everybody for everything! It was a great day with lots of smiles and laughs.

Just when I thought the excitement for the day was over - we get the news that Macy got engaged. YIKES! She has found herself a real good guy and I couldn't be happier for her! Congratulations!

I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month. ~Harlan Miller~

Christmas - that magic blanket that wraps itself about us, that something so intangible that it is like a fragrance. It may weave a spell of nostalgia. Christmas may be a day of feasting, or of prayer, but always it will be a day of remembrance - a day in which we think of everything we have ever loved. ~Augusta E. Rundel~

It's time for holidays...

Although there were some days I questioned whether or not I would end the day in one piece, I did make it - and I feel rather put together. The last week of school went as well as one could hope for. Actually I think I made more progress in some classes than I have made most of the semester. Basketball is in full force now - making the weeks crazy busy. While the weeks are pretty hectic it really helps me appreciate the down time on the weekends. Funny how that works.



So now that I have a few days off from school I've been thinking about all the things that I want to accomplish this holiday season. I started thinking of these things and then caught myself thinking "NO THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN" well if I think that way it's probably true. So now I'm really seriously going to try to make these things happen. A few work related tasks made the list - but I really worked hard at trying to focus my goals on things that were more recreation directed. Haha - I just wanna have fun. As the holidays progress I'll update my progress on "conquering the list":

The "List"

• Plan the trig unit for math
• Make exam review for math and biology
• Go skating and bring some "hot chocolate"
• Go skiing and then rent a snowboard and learn how!
• Watch Alvin and the Chipmunks and p.s. I love you
• Go to Mongos
• Go shop at Happy Harry's and find some Sour Apple Shnapps
• Breakfast at Coras
• Bake cookies
• Go out for New Years and have a good time
• Night out with Christine
• Go tobogganing
• Go ice fishing and out fish Dad and Cory
• Just remember to make the most of every day! Be thankful for all I'm given.

Merry Christmas

Here's to my brother

A fairly eventful weekend has come and gone. It was the first weekend in quite sometime that I was kept occupied doing things that weren't school related. It was Cory's birthday. I thought now was as an appropriate time as any to share a few of my thoughts and ideas on why he is the greatest brother.

I admire the respect he has for all people. It is rare to hear Cory talk bad about anybody. Even if he's upset he focuses on situations instead of people. He has shown me what it means to pick out the positive. I can only strive to ever do this to the extent that he does. Through his actions I have seen the way he treats the women in his life- he holds them in high regard- he has shown me what respect, admiration, and love look like. Because of the role models that him and my dad have been I will never allow any guy to treat me otherwise - or to make me compromise any part of who I am in order to make them happy.

I appreciate Cory's willingness to help out wherever and whenever a helping hand is needed. I can always bank on Cory to cheer me up after a tough day. His warm, kind spirit doesn't go unnoticed. He provides me with a sense of protection - and I know that I'll always have him on my side no matter what issues I end up getting myself in - he will be there to help me through.

Not many brothers would put up with the constant critique and comments about their performance in every single hockey game...but for some reason Cory always takes the time to listen, and usually goes out of the way to make time to hear my opinions. He knows I watch his every move carefully and cares enough to allow me to be as involved as possible. I am not looking forward to the day he "retires" - cause I'll have nobody to "coach" from the sidelines.

When I know I have the opportunity to hang out with Cory I am almost guarenteed that fun times will be had. He doesn't mind my dry jokes and usual shy disposition. He is probably better than anyone at getting me to relax, come out of my shell, enjoy whatever is happening, and have a good time.

I could go on and on about Cory - but most importantly I want him to know that he is more than a brother to me. He is a great friend, supporter, and mentor. I tell him this, but sometimes I feel like I don't sure my appreciation enough. So Cory, this is for you. I hope that your year is a great one and I look forward to the many memories we will make together. Love you lots!

Don't Blink..

Sometimes I feel like I wish I could speed time up (like those last 20 minutes of class on Fridays...or the last few seconds of a hockey game when Cory's team is up by a goal). Most of the time, however, I think there are more times I wish that I could slow time down. Like sunday evenings when I'm taking some time to relax and unwind. No matter what we do - time flies (sometimes like a turkey and other times like an eagle).

I guess what I have to keep reminding myself is that I gotta make the most of the time I'm given - even if sometimes if feels like what I'm doing at the time is gonna end up getting me nowhere - you just never can be too sure. I spend a lot of time thinking and reflecting, which I see as a good thing. However, there are times when it would be nice to just forget about everything and really truly relax. Last night, for instance, I'm sure that if all the thoughts that ran through my mind would've been recorded on paper I would have ended up with a complete novel by the time morning came. It was just one of those nights.

Lately alone time has been the most comforting - although others seem to have a hard time grasping how this could be. It's simple really. When I'm by myself I can worry about my own stresses - don't have to worry about inflicting any negative stresses on others. Right now I really have to sort out my own expectations because I am not willing to be hurt and disappointed again as a result of fooling myself into thinking that I'm doing what's right...even though at the time it's hard to see otherwise. Time to get both my feet firmly planted again and then maybe I will thinking about venturing other directions...who knows when that will be.

2 weeks till holidays and I'll try and enjoy the very excited energy that the students bring with them to school!

December is Here

Sunday evenings are the hardest. It seems that the unwinding process has just begun yet its less than 12 hours till the Monday morning havoc begins. As I sit here I can't help but feel guilty because really I should be working on getting ready for the week - instead I'm under a blanket doing nothing that will better prepare me for tomorrow. I think part of the problem is that it is so close to the holiday season. The past few months have been busy and demanding; making me fight the constant urge to begin the holidays early.

On the other side - a little relaxation in solitude might benefit me more than stressing over the fine details of an elaborate lesson plan. At least this way I'll be mentally and emotionally equipped to deal with the many needs of the highschool population. Besides - I am ready for tomorrow...it's the rest of the week that I'm more worried about it. Keep on keepin' on.

The last few months - well they've revolved around school mostly. That's how I spend my time - almost all of it. Looking forward to Christmas and just a few days to really unwind completely. I don't have plans, but lately that's what makes me the most content. It's been hard to get excited for anything so hopefully that plays itself out. Certain things have taken a lot out of me and now it's just time to rebuild - and that will be done slowly - with time. No use in making myself do things that just do feel right. Right now, what's right is reflection and a lot of me time - with occasional breaks...of course. Because "Every day may not be good...but there is something good in every day."

I remember now...

After one day back at school I remember why I chose to be a teacher; it's all about the kids. I was nervous and anxious this morning but as soon as I saw those faces, both new and old, I was reassured that I am right where I need to be. Although the day was hectic, trying, and somewhat stressful, I haven't ended a day feeling this fulfilled in a long time. The students just manage to make me smile, laugh, and appreciate the small things in a way that nobody else can.

A funny story from the day (well maybe just I find it funny, but whatever...) We had a few minutes to spare and I asked them some tribond questions (what do these three things have in common?) The three things were Chicken, Turkey, Ground Beef. The first answer that gets blurted out is "They are all BIRDS!" My response: "Ya I think I saw a flock of ground beef fly by this morning.." It made me laugh for sure! Love it.

Well with school starting I am definitely finding difficulty in adjusting to the work that's required from waking up until going to sleep. It'll take a while to get settled in. Hopefully I'll get ahead eventually, so that I can enjoy some of these evenings too! I am tired but feel great that I have accomplished something today.

Frightening Conclusion

"I've come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the classroom. It's my daily mood that makes the weather. As a teacher I posses a tremendous power to make a child's life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture of an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate humor, hurt, or heal. In all situations it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or deescalated and a child humanized or dehumanized."

~Hiam Ginott~

I think my life is a lot like the game of yahtzee..

I own an electronic yahtzee game, and I play it a lot. As I was playing last time I realized that my life is a lot like a game of yahtzee. First I've become so accustomed to the game, I've developed an innate strategy that I use time and time again. In life, well I'm pretty much a creature of habit, doing things in a relatively organized and structured manner.

In the game there are a set of tasks that one must accomplish - some of them definitely worth more points than others; same as life - I have goals that I want to accomplish, things I want to do, and some things obviously take precedence over other things.

I see the number categories of yahtzee much like relationships. All values hold some importance, but more 5s and 6s obviously help you get closer to achieving the goal of scoring 63 so that you get your 35 bonus points (which is super important). Now you can do this by getting 3 of each of the individual values - if you get less in one category you have to make up for it somehow. As I'm playing I invest a lot more time trying to score more 4s, 5s, and 6s, then 1s or 2s. That's how relationships are. I put more time, effort and dedication into those relationships where there is more to get out of it - this would be family and close friends. You know it's worth the effort to maintain those relationships because they are the ones who are going to be there when you need that extra push towards the bonus. However, in life we have a bunch of smaller relationships (like the 1s and 2s) but I don't put as much attention on these cause ultimately I know that there is less that I can get out of the deal. Don't get me wrong - every 1 counts and has it's place, but it doesn't quite hold the same value.

Then you move to the special categories, the straights, three of a kind, yahtzee, etc. How do you go about achieving these goals? I've realized that there is many ways to get there - kinda like we have many paths to choose in our own journey. Full house is one of those categories that I don't like to roll for specifically - if I happen to roll one I usually take advantage of it and collect the points. In life sometimes I am presented with opportunities that I wasn't looking for and you gotta go for them if it feels right - cause you don't know if you'll ever get the chance again.

Sometimes all I have left is to roll for yahtzee - and what to I end up getting? A large straight. Now in terms of the game, it sucks, because that's compromising a lot of points. However if you look at the categories seperately they are both high in value and you would probably be happy to take either one if you had the choice. I've learned in life that sometimes we are so driven towards one idea and one way of thinking, that even when we are dealt another good hand, we are in a position where we aren't satisfied. I have that internal drive to always "look for something more." Sometimes it's great - I don't need to settle and I can always look for ways to improve - but in other instances I know I've missed out on genuine, quality experiences cause I was too caught up in looking for more... alright - time for me to roll the dice...

Memories

It's been a while..

Okay, so back in May I had this brilliant idea of starting posting my thoughts and going ons in a blog...worked well for the two times that I actually did it. Here I have been sitting all summer - reflecting - having some serious "ahh haa" moments yet I failed to even think of the idea of writing them down. Okay, so maybe my revelations were few and far between, and they probably weren't that stellar, but still, I could've found SOMETHING to write.

ANYWAYS....

Summer has come and gone. It's been two months of relaxation and little stress. Well now it seems like little stress...but I didn't escape from being myself this summer - I still managed to make the most insignificant and meaningless things somehow overwhelm me to the point of paranoia. But once again I escaped free of harm - at least I think I did. In all honesty, although summer wasn't overly exciting, it's been great and I won't forget it.

Part of me wishes that I had trips and adventures to write about...but a bigger part is thankful for the little experiences that too often we overlook. I think that it's sometimes those little experiences that are the greatest teachers - if we are wiling to learn. This past year I've become a lot more willing to learn.

Not that long ago a close friend of mine put me on the spot. I was talking (trying to sound smart, mature, and philosophical) about how I felt I had really grown as an individual this past year. I explained how I felt more grounded on my own two feet (emotionally, psychologically, etc.) than I did just a short year ago. Well not thinking I'd have to back this up, he asked "tell me specifically what you have learned..." After some thought I sent him my response...

In the past year I've learned that life is short and it's best not to dwell on things that make you frown. I've learned that being disappointed is sometimes fair and justified but that it's not worth the effort to get mad. You miss a lot of good stuff if you spend your time being mad. Laugh even when it isn't funny because one day it will be. I've learned the importance of having enough respect for yourself to stand up for what you believe in - those who truly care don't expect you to make such compromises. The words "I believe in you" can truly go a long ways. I've learned what it feels like to be both devalued and valued - and as a result will try my hardest to make sure that people always feel that latter. I've been told the words "I think God put you in my life for a reason and for that I'm thankful" - and I believe it. I've had students who have weathered storms and brought a new meaning to the words "Stand Back Up". I have much to be thankful for yet I still find myself taking time to complain. I learned that being a teacher is the most noble profession there is - and while I am the teacher - I get to be a student - learning more every day.

I realized that soup from a can isn't that bad and as a result it's become my staple food. Instant mashed potatoes do have their place, and indulging in a chocolate bar is a pleasure that is tough to beat. It's important to be flexible and not work so hard at making things happen, but rather, let things happen. I learned that I really do like long walks all by myself - they aren't as boring as I once thought them to be. I've learned that it's okay to be my quiet shy self - but that sometimes it feels good to push myself out of my comfort zone and do things people would never expect. I realized how important it is to find at least one person that you can talk to when you need it - knowing that they won't judge but just listen. I've learned that you learn a lot by just sitting and listening and sometimes by saying nothing you say more than you will ever know. It's okay to be crazy sometimes and "some mistakes are too much fun to only make once... there are things in life that I regret, and some things that haven't happened yet" (thanks brad paisley). It's all in the attitude - if you want something to happen you go and make it happen.

I could probably write a long time, as I've only scratched the surface. But overall I've really began to realize that life is a gift we are given. It is precious. I have been blessed in many ways and am not thankful enough. I LOVE my family more than I could ever say, and this last year I've really made it a priority to make sure that I don't go to sleep unless those I'm closest to know how much I care, value, and love them. I've learned a lot...so think to yourself - what have you learned?

Teacher's Task

Teacher's Task: take a lot of live wires and see that they are all well grounded.

The first year of school has almost come to an end. I think I've encounted a lot of "live wires" this year - and thankfully so, as they have taught me a lot. They've taught me things like how to appreciate the little stuff, how to make sure you smile each and every day, how to persevere through difficult challenges, and how to better those around you. They have taught me to laugh more often and get annoyed less often. They have shown me the importance of being flexible and the value in being prepared. Through their actions the students have shown me that they are willing to move mountains for you once they know, and trust, that you really do care.

As the first year comes to an end I see many areas that went well. The relationships with the students, the confidence in my own abilities, and a burning desire to improve and do better next year. I'm already thinking of next year and have a lot of things that I want to work on. I believe that my students have more potential that I didn't let them show this year. Next year, one of my main goals, is to allow my students to flourish and become more independent. I want to promote a high level of respect within the classroom so ALL students have an equal opportunity to enjoy and flourish in my class. That is a service that I owe to the students.

In the meantime I will try and get everything done that I need to this year - which is still a lot. I need order textbooks, figure out supplies that need to be ordered, make exams and study guides, etc. etc. Then I will just work at enjoying my summer - and hopefully - will watch everything fall into place.

Another Week Down...Almost

Another week has almost come to an end. That's kind of exciting. I think that there are now 19 days of classes before exams. One of those days we are on a school trip, and one of those days I am taking off - so that means only 17 days left! I had my last teacher evaluation of the year today. It went pretty good and I made improvements in three of the categories since October - so that was reassuring.

Yesterday was an interesting day in class...out of the 22 kids in my grade 12 biology class, there were 12 present. Small groups are fun - but sometimes they get carried away. Two boys thought that they were so funny when they taped everything inside and outside of my desk together. I still have my work cut out for me to get everything apart.

Alright, time to get set for another weekend. Maybe I'll have some more pictures to post come Monday!