It made sense...sort of...

Just finished day one of a two day inservice on the topic "Relationships Matter." Today was a long day. I know that I drifted into a daydream type state on a couple of occasions but I managed to pick up a few key ideas. There was a lot being said that I could understand, and perhaps relate to, but it was too much to digest in one day. It will probably take me the rest of my life to sort through what I actually heard. If I had paid attention the WHOLE day I'd probably need two lives to sort everything out, so maybe I did myself a favor. Anyways, Dr. Gordon Neufeld talked about how "for every thought there is an anti-thought." I left today much like I leave every day school day or inservice session. I left with tons of internal conflict. Not knowing if anything that I do is good enough, or the "right" thing, and so on and so forth. Today I learned that this uncertainty is actually a good thing. I find comfort in the fact that internal confusion is healthy and this reinforces the fact that I am doing what I care about. Instinctively I knew this was perfectly normal, but it was reassuring to hear someone say it.

Im now going to take my divided mind and try to allow it to relax. Maybe a good sleep will help sort out what I heard today so that tomorrow I can once again be prepared to experience a healthy dose of internal battles.