Hardly Speaking A Word: Safe..

I don't have to drive this morning and for that I am thankful. Another day to get stuff done. I do miss school though. It makes the day entertaining, and much more rewarding.

Kids Say The Darndest Things

"Ms Schroeder - do you need help in the dating department because soon you are going to be an old maid"

"I can't stop talking - it's a disorder"

"Where is the add button on my calculator?"

"Sweet Sneaks Ms. S"

"I can't work today - I have a badminton tournament tomorrow and I have to rest my brain."

"You open Christmas presents on Christmas day? That's just weird!"

"Now he's just a greaser with a goatee"

"Student A - Why didn't you go on a holiday with your parents to Mexico?" "Student B -Because Mexico sucks. Seriously, who would go to Mexico when you could go to Alberta instead."

"Ms. S don't you ever get sick? You are always here."

"Ms. Schroeder I can't possibly do any work today - I blew my nose and lost a chunk of my brain!"

"My platelets must've worked fast yesterday. I cut face when I was playing with frozen wieners and it healed in like 5 minutes,

"I must've taken a shower when I was in my mom's stomach cause I didn't come out lookin' like that!"

"Ms. Schroeder, sometimes I do meaningless things - and that was obviously one of them" (Was said after a student explained to me that he got his thumb stuck behind his adam's apple while talking on the phone with his girlfriend."

"Is pregnancy an STD?"

"Every time you give me candy I'm going to have to start praying that I don't die!" (that was said after one student inhaled a piece of the stick from the sucker I gave him)

"But I bring so much happiness, character and humor to your class - that should be worth at least 80%"

"Ms. Schroeder I seriously think you need to find a boyfriend soon - then maybe you wouldn'thave so much time to think about how to get us to do so much math!"

"Ms. Schroeder you really just need a pair of cowboy boots!"

"Everytime I eat these chips I just feel like there is a little Mexican boy dancing in my mouth - don't you?"

"Ms. Schroeder have you bought a truck yet? Better yet maybe you should just find a rich man to get you a house and truck!"

"Beer-battered fish tastes so good with that Tartshire sauce." (someone mistakingly combined the words Tarter and Worcestershire - if was highly entertaining.)

"I can't think straight when I'm running that fast."

"This is the song that I listen to when I'm laundering my underwear."

"I have one word for you, and pardon my language, but you are a FREAK. You love having lots of dice, lots of pens, and now you have 2 computers, I think you should probably be a mormon so you can have lots of husbands."

"Ms. Schroeder I think you belong in the old folks home with all the other crazy people."

"My underwear is not going to be my friend today...and usually this is my lucky pair."

After I explain to the students that I think it would be fun to make prosthetic noses for a living the response was "That's exactly why you are single...you are just wierd..."

"That kid walks like a parallelogram."

"I can't wear sweaters Ms. Schroeder. My arms are obviously too big - the sweater would rip."

"Ms. Schroeder - smell my back."

"I saw a chick with the exact same tattoo as you!"

Upon discussing an episode of One Tree Hill: "I have to write that down in my book. 'When my marriage gets boring, have a cookie dough fight.' That's a great idea."

Hardly Speaking A Word

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Safe..

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Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Safe..

No comments:

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