Hardly Speaking A Word

Something New

2011-11-07T19:55:00.001-06:00

I've been playing around with a new webpage and after a few days got it launched and working. It's what I'll be using for now as it just seems to better suit my needs at the moment. Please check it out.

The photo and video pages are username and password protected. I don't want to deter followers, but at the same time I like the feeling of having some control over who sees our little man in action. So, I have included an "email" page with a form that can be filled out if you wish to gain access to these sites. Please do!

The new site: www.nicholsoncubed.com

Wild Child

2011-11-02T14:32:00.001-05:00

P has been practicing his jump stops lately. He will jump a few times and then keep his legs straight and come to a quick stop. I find it amusing to watch. He certainly isn't timid when it comes to bouncing. He goes full throttle like this whenever he is awake...you would think he would crash hard at night...

P already likes to play rough. Today in his crib he decided to arch his back and lift his little arms as high as he could reach in an attempt to pull down on the animals on his mobile. The next minute he was grabbing at the bumpers and a short while later was attacking the sound machine. It is hard to hold on to him because he just wants to go. He is bound and determined to get moving. I can't believe this kid is only 3 months. How quickly one learns! When he does get his wheels I will need to be on high alert.

He also loves to use his voice. When playing with his dad the house is seldom quiet. I'm sure he can't wait to yell with Grandpa in the entrance and listen to the echoes. Grandpa will be in his glory with the vocals on this little guy.

This weekend we are going on our first getaway with the family. A trip to Grand Forks is in the plans. I'm certain the ride will be somewhat of a nightmare, but remain optimistic that eventually he will fall asleep. This is our first trip outside a 50 km radius. It's probably a good thing we are taking along some support...Grandma wakes up at about the same time as P, so maybe we can have a few extra minutes of sleep. Callie will also be a source of entertainment for all of us. It will be awesome family time, and I can't think of a better way to spend my dad's birthday weekend.

And in the morning...I'm makin' waffles!

2011-11-01T19:23:00.001-05:00

He must think we are crazy! P experienced his first Halloween yesterday and I'm sure he's still trying to figure out why his parents decided to dress him as some crazy looking creature. What must be even more mind boggling is that his already wacky folks took on a whole new appearance. P's first Halloween was obviously more about fun for his parents. All three of us got suited up and made appearances at a few select locations. All things considered P did awesome and was a trooper. After a trip out to the farm he needed a little recharge, but then stayed tough for the final two destinations. Our little donkey was a treat to share...and the treats he gathered are being enjoyed by his mom and dad!

Things have been a little tiring around here as of late. P has developed a dislike for sleep. He has definitely regressed, which makes the nights a little longer. We had a stretch where he seemed accepting of the fact that he had to nap...that too has been lost. He physically fights and screams during those dreaded times. When he wakes up he's such a happy boy with huge smiles...hopefully one day he will realize that it is the sleep that makes him feel this good. We are all hanging in there, and although his energy level seems unaffected, his mom has moments where she struggles to keep up! I'm hoping it's just a phase that will pass shortly.

The little guy is going to be busy. You can see it in his eyes that he's often thinking about his next move and how he's going to accomplish it. He is using his hands to manipulate the world around him. He likes the things he sees his mom and dad using, such as our phones, the keyboard, the washer and dryer knobs and buttons, and food containers. These are always much more interesting than the toys that surround him.

Dancin' Peyts

2011-10-23T10:15:00.000-05:00

Oh this boy just LOVES playtime with his daddy.

3 Month Photos

2011-10-21T09:02:00.001-05:00

It's nice to have someone in the family who is awesome at taking pictures. Yesterday Vera came down to take a few 3 month shots of P. He was a well rested, happy, relaxed boy who went along with anything and everything. I love how each picture captures a different expression. He has so many looks about him.

Playful, Curious and Looking for Trouble! Time to hit the books big guy!

Serious!

Deep in Thought!

Relaxed and Cuddling!

Exploring!

Crazy Boy

2011-10-19T20:38:00.001-05:00

P turns 3 months and gets a little bit crazy. I find it hard keeping up with him now, and he isn't yet able to move around on his own. I do love his energy. He spent the day rolling (he can make it from his back to his tummy on his own now), jumping, and doing whatever he could to avoid sleep. In fact I thought I had him sound asleep and down for a nap. 30 minutes later I check on him and he's wide awake, smiling, and kicking in the crib. He doesn't make a peep just gets to playing. What a funny kid.

Sometimes P gets angry when we go out, and today was one of those days. I'm pretty sure people must think he's a bitter little boy, when really he is generally happy and full of smiles and laughs. That's why it's important we catch moments like these on video. Proof for all those non-believers!!

P - I love it that you love being home with your mom and dad. You are awesome! Keep jumping big guy. (Maybe you'll tire yourself out!!)

3 Months

2011-10-17T11:31:00.002-05:00

This week our little guy is three months. He continues to grow and change in what seems to be a blink of an eye. At the beginning he was keeping right on pace with his dad's size when he was a baby, but now P has taken the lead and developed quite a margin. I'm guessing this growing will slow down...eventually. I am happy he occasionally tolerates being rocked instead of bounced. It's a little easier on this mom's upper body. It also allows for me to better breathe in that addicting baby head smell. I love it.

Grunting is one of P's newest hobbies. He stiffens up his whole body and lets out a not so cute growl. It's his way of telling us he's bored. At least I think. I'm still trying to decipher his sounds, noises, and body language. When he's sleepy he lets out these guttural moans that sound just like his dad when he is sick. Sometimes he continues this for at least 20 minutes before letting himself drift off. He has also found a new love for his mobile. He will lay in his crib smiling at the animals that are swinging and spinning above him. He is especially drawn to the monkey. I love that he plays in his crib. He enjoys his own space, and I think this is important as we begin trying to get him to fall asleep on his own.

P continues to sleep well at night. Lately he's been falling asleep while eating between 7 and 8, and goes down without any further effort (except the nights his dad is gone for hockey...of course). He wakes up around 3 to eat, and then goes back into his crib without any fuss. He will wake up a couple of hours later, and it's often not to eat, but rather to cuddle in bed. This is where he sleeps till he is ready to begin the day. There is something special about those moments where the house is silent, and I can look down and see such a beautiful baby peacefully snuggled in beside me.

I think that daddy is going to get his wish in that his boy will enjoy wrestling with him in the basement. P is tough and strong. He loves using his legs and often tries to accomplish more than he should. Lately his focus has been to try to pull himself into a sitting position when he is reclined. He is working on those abs. He is also close to rolling over.

Alright - I wrote the first four paragraphs of this post before I took P for his teaching debut. He is the Seeds of Empathy baby at the daycare and today was his first day as the teacher. He did great and as a mother I will brag! The program is designed to teach kids empathy, and P gets to be the teacher at the daycare, West Park, and Parkside. He loved looking at all the little kids today and was a bit of a showoff! I layed him on his back so the kids could measure how many blocks tall he was...well he then decides to roll from his back to his side. It was awesome! So I guess what I said in the previous paragraph was true...I just didn't realize he would do it in the next hour! Way to go big guy! You made your mom proud...and I love that you are the cutest little teacher ever.

We didn't have a seat for Peyton around the house, so this is what I used last night!

P can't wait for movie nights and popcorn!

Thankful

2011-10-09T08:29:00.002-05:00

I am thankful that it is a long weekend as it means Peyton and I get one more day with daddy. Someone extra to share our laughs and smiles with always makes the days more enjoyable. An extra set of hands to help out when things are difficult is appreciated. Since not all weekends are long weekends we have to make sure we take advantage of the few that we are given.

I am thankful for a healthy big boy who continues to grow and surprise us every day. I have those proud moments when Peyton accomplishes something that only I, as a mom, would find captivating. Yesterday I put on my necklace for the first time since our trip to the Dominican. On this necklace is a tiny pendant of my birthstone. Nothing big and flashy as that is not my style. In the evening P was sitting contently on my lap when he quickly took note of the necklace. He worked so hard to get his little hands and fingers in the perfect position to grab the pendant. Now I have noticed that he is prone to grab everything around, like the neck of my shirt or back of my arm, but more often than not this seems like coincidence. Yesterday the look on the little man's face, and the simple fact that he took note of something so tiny, made me overflow with happiness. I can only hope this determination and persistence continues to grow along with him.

I am thankful for all the time I get to spend with P. When I put him to sleep he often stares deep in my eyes and clutches my hands which makes me feel amazing. It certainly helps me forget about how heavy he is becoming in my arms. Not to mention long. He spills over the sides and I rarely lay him in the crib without hooking his feet on the rails.

I am thankful that P is starting to enjoy exploring new territory. Though car rides still aren't enjoyable he has moments where he seems relaxed and content. When we go somewhere new he has a look of excitement on his face.

I am thankful P is his own little man. He isn't a fan of some of those typical baby things. He doesn't like drinking from a bottle. He zips his lips shut when a soother comes anywhere near his mouth as he prefers sucking on his own hands. He also isn't a huge fan of walks in the stroller. This is the only one that bothers me a little. I'd love to have the chance to take him for walks so he could enjoy the sunshine and nature around him. This would also help me fulfil my need to get a little activity in during the day! I have a feeling with time and persistence he will come around.

I am thankful for Sean as he is a wonderful daddy who is completely invested in this new role. He is eager to change any dirty diapers, seeks time to bond with his little boy, and is always looking for ways to help out. He definitely puts his family first and shows this through his words and actions.

I am thankful for my family. My parents are the first ones to help out with whatever is needed. During the days when I couldn't get P to stop crying my mom was the first one at the door to lend a hand. She continues to help out by watching P so I can get out and help with soccer. My dad's love for P can be summed up by reading the text he send me last sunday: "Is the little kneeper sleeping would like to come down and hold him." When I didn't respond my mom said he continued to tell her that he was coming to see him and hold him and didn't care if he cried. I love that about my dad!

I am thankful that P has such a cute older cousin to look up to and play with (when he gets a little older). Watching C interact with the little guy is precious. She rubs his back to try and sooth him, is eager to hold his bottle, and shares that innocent smile with him. Can't wait to see how things evolve as they grow up!

We are going to enjoy today as a family. We have been blessed with each other and this is time to cherish.

Music

2011-10-02T19:42:00.001-05:00

Our house used to be quiet in the evenings. You could hear the sound of the television in the background and some quiet chatter between the two of us. Things have changed...we are now spoiled with these sounds....

2 Months!

2011-09-24T06:42:00.006-05:00

I can't believe it. Our little boy is already two months old. When I look through pictures and videos I can help but be astounded at how quick one changes, grows, and learns new things. It is truly remarkable. The little boy who a few short weeks ago depended on his mom and dad for absolutely everything is already becoming more independent. He has learned that his hands and toes are a great source of entertainment. He will lay in his crib silently after waking enjoying the taste of his tiny, perfect fingers. He has discovered how to punch toys, get them to move and make sounds. He has figured out how to jump and rarely sits still in your lap. He has found great joy in watching the Tigger song again and again. He is beginning to realize sleep actually makes him feel better and generally falls asleep quickly without much of a struggle. He still doesn't like to waste too much of his day sleeping - just relies on those little catnaps to get him through. Peyton has a new noise to share with us everyday and what is even more exciting is that he is starting to use that cute voice in places other than his change table. He makes my heart overflow every day with his abundant smiles. One day I hope he shares that most beautiful smile with the world...but for now I feel kinda special that he saves his biggest, most heart-melting smiles for his mom and dad at home.

He had his first needles earlier this week. We heard lots of stories of the first needles being the easiest. I am hoping that is not the case. It was stressful for the little guy and he used that powerful scream that we hadn't heard in such a long time. He was definitely aware of what was happening to him and it took a while to calm him. After a little nap, however, he woke with a smile and made me feel that much better!

Peyton is growing and flourishing. Less than a year ago Peyton was no larger than one cell, in a short 9 months he was a fully developed functioning human and in the last two months he has gained 6 pounds and grown 3 inches. In my eyes that is unbelievable. Babies are miracles I will never fully comprehend.

I am coaching soccer at the school. This gets me out of the house for about an hour and a half a few days a week. Leaving Peyton for that short time has been a challenge. Today marks a new milestone for me. I am leaving Peyton for the day for the first time. Some tears have already been shed. Not sure I can do it...but it is important that Peyton gets quality bonding time with his dad...and his dad needs that time with his little boy. Being a mom who gets to stay at home every day with her little guy is truly a blessing. Time to share that blessing with the man who deserves it equally as much!

On the positive side - this girl gets to spend some quality time with her own mom!

We like to play!

2011-09-08T18:58:00.002-05:00

This is how we spend our days..

The first day of school...

2011-09-07T16:05:00.003-05:00

And I'm at home! It feels awfully strange not experiencing the first day back this year...as that is all I have known for the past 22 years of my life. Every year it's been "back to school" in some form. I did ask Peyton if he was ready for school but he assured me he is content staying at home for a few more weeks...then we can start the math flashcards!

Peyton had his 6 week checkup yesterday (though he is 7 weeks old). I wasn't really too stressed about it as he has made huge strides the past few weeks in terms of being content. Unfortunately the drive set him off and there was no turning back. Those at the clinic got free admission to Peyton's concert. They were all treated to at least 20 minutes of screaming. It stressed me at the time but afterwards I decided I can view the experience 2 ways. I can dwell, stress, and worry about how annoyed those around him must have been OR I can be thankful that he has a voice to share and that we walked out of the office with confirmation from the doctor that we have a strong, healthy and growing little boy. I choose the latter.

Though are outings still provide plenty of challenges, life at home is great. The little guy continues to surprise use every day with all that he has learned. As of late his favorite toy is a blanket. We cover him up and he kicks it off. He also likes his new kicker. While it provides a good leg workout it also seems to aide in digestion. He spends long stretches in his crib watching the mobile, looking around, and singing to himself.

I am sure next week I'll be sitting here thinking about how many more things changed in just a weeks time. The joys!!

I'm starting to get it...

2011-08-31T12:53:00.002-05:00

Amazingly Peyton has been resting long enough to give me a computer break. I've started to figure out some patterns and routines, but he is still a tricky little guy to put down. Yesterday I put him down on the bathroom floor as it's the only room dark enough to keep him from eyeballing everything. Poor guy!

The past week I have actually started to understand why it is people have more than 1 kid. It's pretty amazing. Peyton has changed so much in the past 6 weeks and things are now becoming more rewarding. Granted we still can't travel by car or stroller, we are learning to love life inside these walls. We are greeted with smiles every morning, after being able to sleep for 6 or 7 hours in a stretch. Now Peyton is playing with his voice and beginning to realize he is capable to making sounds other than a cry. He opens his mouth with a huge smile and it looks like he wants to laugh, but hasn't quite figured that one out yet. He continues to love love love the bath. Daddy holds him with one hand under the head and he floats and kicks off the side. He is also starting to produce tears. It makes mom fall for the sad cry he makes even harder. A few weeks ago I just wanted to pass him off when he started his crying bouts, but now I want to be the one cuddling and soothing him. Peyton is an active baby. He loves to use his legs and it seems like he is continually figuring out how he can get places. Even after he falls asleep he continues to wiggle and kick. I now understand why my belly moved the way it did when pregnant. Peyton's focus is sharp. He has no problems following me across the room. Even when I'm rocking or bouncing him, his gaze remains locked on that one object of interest. I love my days with Peyton though I do feel somewhat isolated. That will get even worse when the regular visits from my mom come to an end as she heads back to school next week. I'll just keep hoping that one day the car will become tolerable, and the stroller ride a treat. Until then I'll just enjoy and embrace the cuddles, coos, and cuteness.

My Whole World

2011-08-22T16:20:00.003-05:00

"Can I really do this?"

Not a day goes by where that thought doesn't cross my mind at least a few times. In the middle of a meltdown or when I think my back can't possibly take one more bouncy step. Fortunately, those moments are quickly forgotten as we are often caught up in the joys of learning what Peyton has to offer each minute of each day.

Peyton, while I can't remember the last time I questioned myself to this degree I also can't remember I time I've laughed hard as often as I do now. When you decide to pee on mom, dad, the blinds, or the wall, we can't help but giggle. When your projectile poop coats the wall 3 feet away it brings a smile to my face (after I've cleaned up). Hearing your "coos" as you lay on the change table melts my heart. Witnessing a 2 minutes smile session this morning let me know the day was going to be just fine (30 seconds later it turned to a cry but that didn't even matter!). I love watching you work so hard to bring your little hands to your mouth so you have something to suck on. Your coordination isn't quite there, but your desire to try is! I love your angelic look just before you fall asleep. For that brief moment all the energy it took to get us to that point is quickly forgotten. Though I sometimes complain about being "cooped up" with you, when I leave I can't wait to get back. I love you buddy!

1 month...and how time flies

2011-08-18T09:27:00.002-05:00

Peyton joined us a month ago. Hard to believe how much the little guy has grown. He has put on a pound a week and according to our scale now is weighing in at just over 12 pounds. Big guy! This past week I have noticed lots of changes. It sounds like he is starting to make noise other than crying. Up until now he eats (usually quietly), sleeps (not so quietly), and cries (loudly!). It has seemed when he was awake he spent his time crying. The last week, though, he has started to have more, and longer, quiet alert times. He is definitely curious about the world around him as it is hard for him to ever shut his eyes and go to sleep. He does sleep well at night though. The last two nights though he has only woken up between 2-3 and then has been good till the morning. I definitely appreciate the nighttime as during the day getting him to rest is an uphill battle. Yesterday I saw some glimpses of a smile while awake, and today I got a full blown smile. It was the same smile that we usually only see during his sleepy time twitches. Made my heart melt.

Peyton is a noise baby. He has taken a liking to the vacuum cleaner. It is one of the best tools to quiet his sometimes piercing scream. I just tried the blowdryer out, and that to seems to be working some magic.

What Peyton doesn't like is car rides. Even a trip to see Grandma and Grandpa at the farm is a scream fest. We will keep practicing and hopefully it will get better soon because I am getting a little bit tired to being in the house every single day. Along with that, hopefully walks become a little more enjoyable in the near future. I'd love to get outside more, but at the moment that doesn't seem to be on the list of options.

I think Peyton is a sensitive baby. He's like me that way. He is wide eyed, alert, and very aware of his surroundings. He does seem bothered by a change of scenery, and doesn't seem to care for tons of people. Dad doesn't like it when I say this, but I think it's true!!

All about Peyton

2011-08-06T17:15:00.003-05:00

I put a little photo slideshow of Peyton up on our shutterfly site. Feel free to check it out!

2 Weeks New

2011-08-03T15:14:00.004-05:00

There have been ups and downs the past few weeks. This whole parenting thing is a minute by minute challenge, but an amazing and enjoyable one. We are starting to get to know our little Peyton a little better each day. He seems like he has changed so much in such a short time. He has definitely put on weight. It took him all of 6 days to regain and surpass his birth weight. I wouldn't be surprised if he was over 10 pounds by the end of this week. It's good to know he has a healthy appetite. Mom is learning how to deal with your frequent feedings. Soon we will have it all sorted out.

Peyton, here are some ways you are like your mom:

You love to take baths. I think if you could you would like to sleep in the bathtub.
You fight the urge to sleep. Taking a nap, especially in the afternoon, is a hard thing for you to do. You like to cry and cry in order to keep yourself awake. Hopefully this changes sometime soon.
You don't seem to like a lot of people around you. You are definitely not one of those babies who can be passed from person to person and be perfectly content. At least not yet.

Peyton, here are some ways you are like your dad:

When you sneeze they come in multiples of at least three. You sneeze a lot!
You love to eat and you eat quickly.
You like to run your hands through your hair. Daddy does the same except his head is bald.

On Sunday we had newborn pictures taken. Peyton was wide eyed and alert, as was expected. About half way through he had a meltdown, but eventually he calmed down enough to fall asleep. The session ended with a few sleepy pictures. You are a beautiful baby and we love each and every picture!

Hello World

2011-07-23T06:56:00.006-05:00

It's fascinating how life can change in the matter of a few seconds. Peyton Rhett joined us on July 19th at 2:45 in the morning. 8 pounds, 13 ounces and 21.5 inches long we have been blessed with a healthy baby.

Peyton is now 100 hours old. I was in love with him before I ever saw him and this love only grew the first time I got to hold him in my arms. Peyton, I love the many faces you make when you are wide awake and sound asleep. It makes me wonder what you are thinking. I love the way you get startled at loud noises. It tells me that you have been blessed with the ability to hear the world around you. I love the way you lock your eyes on mine and focus for those few precious moments making me feel like you know I'm your mommy. I love the way that your little fingers tightly clasp mine. It is as if you are saying, "keep me safe." I love watching you in your dad's arms. Those are my two men who I'd be lost without!

2011-07-06T15:29:00.002-05:00

So school has been over for about a week. All things considered the week has passed rather quickly. Hopefully the next week (or two, or three) do much the same. I am getting bored, but that's not a huge surprise. It doesn't take long for me to begin to feel isolated during the summer months. The difference is this year I can't start getting ready for school in September so I'm left feeling a little more lost. Soon I'll have constant companionship, and Sean will be with us for a week or so as well.

While a large part of me can't wait to meet bean, there is another part of me that can't believe this is actually so close to happening. That's the same part of me that is okay if bean waits a little while to make the grand entry into this world.

I had to go for an ultrasound this morning. I am left wondering how accurate their weight predictions are. I was told that as of today "little" bean was 8 pounds 2 ounces. Big...healthy...baby. That explains why I'm starting to feel appendages protrude from all sides of my belly. Maybe waiting another 3 weeks isn't such a good idea!

One Year

2011-06-26T08:29:00.006-05:00

Today we celebrate our one year anniversary. What a remarkably fast year it has been. A year of firsts.

These mysterious cards have been popping up randomly throughout the week. What a sweet hubby. I can't read them in front of an audience cause they keep making me tear up.

A few of the cards I've found around the house.

Lots has changed in the course of one year. Last year I was a lot quicker and a little more agile. This year it takes me a little longer to get from point a to point b. Last year at this time I was packing my bag for Europe, this year I am packing my bag for the hospital. Last year I was wondering what would keep me occupied all summer. This year I am hoping I have the strength and power to get through the transition we are about to experience.

While lots has changed, there are those few steady elements that have remained strong. Those elements I rely on to get through the challenges and struggles each day can bring. The one alongside me the whole way has been Sean. Through 12 months of marriage we have learned a little, laughed a lot, and accomplished more than we thought imaginable.

Here are 12 realizations I have made during the 12 months.

Talking to Sean is the part of the day I cherish most. I can't wait till he is home from work so we have our time together.
I have a husband who would do absolutely anything to ensure I am well taken care of. What an awesome feeling.
Now that there is an "us" I spend less time worrying about those little things that used to consume a large part of every day.
I so appreciate the initiative he takes to keep things clean. Big change from the guy who used to live with Cory.
Sean is awesome at taking an interest in the things that make me tick. I have some work to catch up in this area.
I can't sleep well unless Sean is beside me.
He makes me smile and laugh each and every day.
When I'm mad, I can't stay mad long because I don't want to waste the time I've been given with him - we have definitely improved our ability to communicate.
He loves my family and that means the world to me.
He pushes me to try new things, encourages me to cross boundaries I would normally avoid.
I love him more today than I did a year ago. I didn't think things could get any better -- but they most certainly have.
Not only do I have a loving husband, but a man in my life who is going to make an amazing daddy!

I love him.

Belly Pictures

2011-06-10T06:29:00.003-05:00

Vera took some shots of us (me, Sean, bean) yesterday. Here is a little look.

2011-06-01T18:54:00.005-05:00

Just a few pictures of our recent project...

32 weeks 4 days

Room Before

Room After

Finally a place for all those little things we've been collecting

Cheeks and Attitude

2011-05-30T15:51:00.003-05:00

Every day we learn something new about baby. This past weekend we had our second session at babymoon. Bean wasn't quite as cooperative (or photogenic) as at our first visit. Baby definitely has a mind of it's own and is already letting that be known. This time it wasn't about the perfect pictures but rather the personality. Baby likes to hide. Each time I rolled onto my back, out came the arm to block the view. Baby also seems to be a sound sleeper (like Grandpa) as even some intense belly poking and prodding didn't seem to waken the sprout. At last we caught glimpse of a yawn, and little grin, as if to say, "I'll do whatever I want."

I love the cheeks, and love the attitude.

Next time we get a look, it will be the real deal.

Growing

2011-05-22T15:22:00.017-05:00

The baby is definitely growing...the proof is in the size of my belly. Can't complain though - it really hasn't gotten in the way too much! Just 8 weeks to go (give or take)!

23 weeks 1 day

24 weeks 4 days

25 weeks 1 day

27 weeks 1 day

29 weeks 2 days

30 weeks

31 weeks 1 day

Lucky Me

2011-05-11T15:33:00.002-05:00

It's been a while.

Things are going better than I could hope for. I am comfortable, energized, and anxious.We feel like we've turned the corner and are now in the home stretch. The doctor's visits are more frequent which is yet another reminder that the time is coming. I have realized that my mobility and coordination isn't what it once was but still find myself participating in PE whenever I can. Not sure what bean thinks about all the bumps when I attempt to run, but I haven't heard any complaints.

I feel like the people in my life are my biggest blessing. Looking back over the past two months I've really started to realize how much people do for me.

First, my dad. He has spent countless hours in our basement getting it ready to be lived in. Drywalling, painting, putting up the ceiling and cleaning it seems like he is always busy doing stuff for us. He doesn't complain, but rather shows up cheerfully even after putting in hours on the farm. He expects nothing in return and often turns away any small token of thanks that we do offer. He is involved, cares that things get done the way they should, and is constantly looking for ways to help out. Those are just some of the reasons he is an amazing dad and grandpa. I'm sure our little bean will always be looking for ways to hang out with Gramps!

Second, my mom. She had a milestone birthday lately and was deserving of more than she got. I could never repay her for all she's done and continues to do. The most precious gift we have is time together. She listens when I need to talk, dries my tears when I need to cry, and smiles when I need that reassurance. I truly believe that together we make each other better. She holds me accountable and builds my confidence. She is my source of advice and voice of reason. I love her dearly and appreciate and cherish the time we have together.

Finally, Sean. He gives me flutters. The other day as he walked across the school yard to bring me a lawn chair I couldn't help but smile at his presence. When he is close I feel safe. When he is away I miss him. His actions, words, and kindness make me feel beautiful. His excitement about our life together gets me through each day. Things with him keep getting more interesting and each day I am assured that I am with the man who was meant to be my husband. There is nobody who could make me happier. While I certainly am beyond thrilled to meet our baby, I am equally as excited to see Sean become a daddy. He will be amazing.

Smile...and the world smiles back

2011-04-10T08:09:00.003-05:00

We've been blessed with yet another glimpse of our precious miracle. Flutters filled my stomach all day in anticipation of the baby encounter we were about to have. Each family we saw leave the room at Babymoon did so with a twinkle of joy in their eye. Our experience was no different. We were awe-struck the entire time, our eyes glued to the monitor anxiously waiting for the next movement. The baby must be ours as it was a little shy for the first half of our session. Burrowing it's little head into the placenta, covering it's face with those tiny fingers, and looking the opposite direction as if to say, "get away from me." With time little bean came around. We got to see a yawn, what looked like a scream, and most satisfying of all a HUGE smile. I can feel it, have seen it, but still can't quite believe this little life is growing inside of me. Tears were shed (by daddy too) and we left feeling a little closer to the little sprout. We are anxiously anticipating the arrival.

Bean is thinking hard...probably about math (mommy hopes so anyway!)

Little bean slowly getting used to the cameras.

* yawn* A little tired after walking around day A big smile for mom and dad! Can't wait to meet you!

I put all of our pictures up on our shutterfly site. Though they aren't all as complete and clear as these, each gives us a little glimpse as to what's going on inside!

Hello Precious

2011-03-15T16:26:00.006-05:00

What a spectacular day. We got a glimpse of our baby! I was a little nervous through the process. Here I was on a bed with nowhere to look but the ceiling. Every now and then I'd glance over at the technician but her face said "strictly business." The room was silent with the occasional beep of the machine. I started to fear something was wrong. I'm sure the over extended bladder didn't help. When all was done, and Sean could join me, we were given a sneak peak of the miracle that fills my belly. We saw two legs, two arms, a pumping heart with four chambers, an active stomach, a developed spine, and a distinct mouth. Things are looking good. They report a size of about 1 pound 3 ounces, which was larger than I expected. Must take after dad!

The past few weeks have been awesome. I've been feeling great, have some extra energy, and have been feeling the baby's workouts. Feeling the movements is kind of like my little secret. Nobody else can tell. Special. Last week Saturday was the first time Sean was able to feel the little one. His response was a high pitched girlish scream. He's starting to get more used to the feeling, but his reaction never ceases to amaze me.

Belly

2011-03-14T17:07:00.000-05:00

18 weeks

20 weeks

21 weeks

Baby Journey

2011-02-09T18:33:00.005-06:00

Thought this was as good a time as any to post a few pictures. Things are looking up as I am now beginning to enjoy food once again. I have never been one to bring food with me to school to snack on during my breaks, but that has become common practice the past few weeks. An appetite is good and I'm happy to have it back. With the ability to eat returns the energy that I seemed to have lost. I'm sure my class is happy for that. I was a dead beat for a couple of months, neglecting the very things that excited me so much at the start of the year. I'm glad to say we are back on track and moving forward.

We were blessed this past week to have had some quality time with Callie. After a sleepover Saturday and evening visits Monday and Tuesday we became quite attached. She was full of giggles, smiles, and cuddles. Couldn't ask for a better baby. It's fun watching Sean take on that fatherly role. He is confident, caring, and ready for one of his own! Probably more so than me. At least there is one of us to take the lead!

Hearing the heartbeat at the doctor always leaves me wanting to hear more. I found a fetal doppler on ebay and just had to have it. I love it when we take some bonding time in the evening to hear our baby. Here's the sound of a miracle...

17 Weeks

16 weeks 1 day

15 weeks 5 days

12 Weeks (on the beach and burning)

10 weeks 2 days

No Cloth diapers!

2011-01-16T11:11:00.002-06:00

Melissa has been busy with being pregnant/morning sickness for the past couple months so she hasn't been keeping up with her blog. She is due in July, the 18th say the doctors, but she says according to her calculations it is actually the 17th. Either way we have a big bundle of joy arriving in our house this summer, we can't wait for little Sean John to arrive!

Sean

I have vanished....

2010-10-08T19:54:00.003-05:00

School started exactly one month ago today...and this may have been the FASTEST month of school I have ever experienced. Guess that gives you the indication that my year has been going great. I'm loving this grade 7 ordeal, which is mostly due to my class. They are quite wonderful. It is one of those classes that inspires you to try new things because they are appreciative, willing to take risks, and eager to be involved.

You know it's been a great start to the year when:

You are sad that it's a short school week (and it seems like September and October are full of "short" weeks)
You wish assemblies wouldn't last quite as long because you are waiting to get back to class and try something new...
You are able to relax just a tad on Sunday evenings
You can leave for lunch and return knowing you will return to a class that is neat and tidy
Working all night on Friday almost seems like a treat

While I haven't been updating this page, I have been working on our classroom website. It has been my priority almost every night.

Other than school there isn't a whole lot going down. Soccer is almost to an end (and I am thankful for that) only to have Volleyball start up a few days later. Highschool hockey started tonight (explains my sudden time and ability to update the blog) which doesn't really cause me to jump out of my socks with excitement. I am thrilled that this year (for the most part) only my Monday, Wednesday, and Friday nights will be taken from me instead of virtually the whole week.

Time to get back to my school duties. I have 13 things going for me at once - the right side of my brain is getting quite the workout.

Pictures and stuff...

2010-08-30T16:42:00.002-05:00

We got our wedding pictures. Our photographer (click here) has a little write up, a few pictures, and a slide show. I also put all 500 wedding pictures, trip pictures, and other "us" together on a share site, click here.

Almost time for the start of school. I'm excited!

Countdown...

2010-08-27T08:31:00.004-05:00

This is the second summer in a row where I haven't been getting a paycheck. This whole permanent contract thing should make next summer a little more enjoyable...

Countdown Creator Progreat free widgetsWidgetboxMore info

The Days Keep Rolling...

2010-08-20T13:54:00.003-05:00

It has reached the point in summer where the days just seem to blend into one another, leaving me confused as to what day of the week it actually is. What's worse is that I'm having trouble recalling what I did just a few days earlier.

Relating this to my summer mission...the huge challenge that has loomed over the past week and a bit has been the challenge to keep myself occupied. I believe I have done quite well. For those people who REALLY know me, you know I get bored easily. When I am bored I am not always the most cheerful person. Thankfully I'm getting better at dealing with free time.

Day 42 - Thursday, August 12th

Challenge: To bake an apple pie from scratch.

Results: It was fun and tasted pretty good too. Even Sean thought so (but he may sometimes feel the need to lie to me). What was most important is that it occupied my time for a good chunk of the afternoon.

Day 43 - Friday, August 13th

This is one of those days which I have forgotten...but I do remember that I was busy for most of day.

Day 44 - Saturday, August 14th

Challenge: Play a game and if you lose (or start to lose) don't be a sore loser.

Results: I didn't have to deal with the losing part because I just so happened to WIN every game we played. GOOD DAY!

Day 45 - Sunday, August 15th

I went to Winnipeg but didn't really stretch myself too far.

Day 46 - Monday, August 16th

Challenge: Bake ALL afternoon and then give it all away.

Results: I managed to muddle my way through plenty of recipes...most of which turned out well. We got rid of most of it, but couldn't quite cut all ties, and managed to keep some samples for ourselves.

Day 47 - Tuesday, August 17th

Challenge: Make some plans to get out of the house...it's time!

Results: Next week is shaping up to be an awesome looking week.

Day 48 - Wednesday, August 18th

Challenge: Spend some time at school and get a solid plan for the year in mind.

Results: I have been doing lots of thinking about math (what could be better) and really like where things are going. I am excited!

Day 49 - Thursday, August 19th

Challenge: School supply shopping.

Results: Well this is one of my favourite things to do - so it really wasn't a challenge at all. Guess I fail!

Settled Back In..

2010-08-11T10:33:00.005-05:00

We have been home for a while now and I notice myself saying the phrase "I'm bored" more frequently as days go by. The monotony of the past few days has been broken up thanks to having the privilege to do some babysitting and some lawn mowing. Being alone all day through the week does leave me with a new appreciation for weekends. Hopefully that appreciation continues when school begins in just under a month's time.

Day 41 - Wednesday, August 11th

Challenge: Get my "Welcome Back to School" letter written so that I can have them mailed before the weekend.

Results: It's a hard letter to get started - if only I could find last year's copy to give me some guidance. It will get done.

Day 40 - Tuesday, August 10th

Challenge: I used to play "BrainAge" on a daily basis and I truly believe my simple mental math calculations got quicker as a result. It's time to dig out the game and start the training process again.

Results: My "real brain age" was still 1 year younger than my real age. That's a good sign. What was better was this time I had a partner to compete against. I love competition. Sean's brain age was in his 60s (high 60s haha). I better use my days to train so I don't get beat!

Day 39 - Monday, August 9th

Challenge: Begin paying back my dad for all he has done on our yard and take time during the afternoon to mow their lawn.

Results: It was quite enjoyable (and quite hot). It doesn't take as long as I remember it taking. I had a great time listening to music and cruising along.

Day 38 - Sunday, August 8th

Challenge: Take a trip down memory lane and have supper on the field.

Results: Dad asked us to bring some chicken to the field and we willingly did so. It was quite fun, but I still struggle eating chicken without a fork and knife. Makes it harder to examine the mean...have to take the plunge by just biting in.

Day 37 - Saturday, August 7th

Challenge: Leave the dishes (and leftovers) after supper so that I can enjoy watching our wedding video (which we just picked up in its entirety) with Sean.

Results: I left the extra pizza on the island and stayed on the couch for the whole video. The video was very well done - interesting, emotional, perfect - so it was actually a pretty easy task.

Day 36 - Friday, August 6th

Challenge: Find a place to hang the pictures and bulletin board that have been sitting on the floor for a few months.

Results: They are up and I love them. We really need to decorate this house and make it our own - but that is more than I one day challenge. Perhaps that will be our winter challenge!

Day 35 - Thursday, August 5th

Challenge: Go through our trip pictures and upload them for a website so others can see.

Results: Done. I have to personalize the website yet...so far all it has is pictures. Although that may be all it needs.

Day 34 - Wednesday, August 4th

Challenge: Update this blog

Results: I outlined our daily highlights from the trip. It was a good feeling to know I had a record of it somewhere. I did keep a journal too - now to figure out what to do with it.

Day 33 - Tuesday, August 3rd

Challenge: Register for another university class in the fall, and when going for a pedicure with mom, get my toes painted a bold color.

Results: I got successfully registered without much of an issue. Come April I will be halfway done my post-bac. What's more important is I'll be done with my 15 extra hours to get my permanent certification. As far as the toes go. I picked the color "Who the Shrek Are you?" So yes...I think it's bold.

Day 32 - Monday, August 2nd

Challenge: Plan the physical layout of my classroom before the end of August.

Results: This hasn't been completely accomplished. I have an idea in my head...now I just have to execute.

Day 31 - Sunday, August 1st

Challenge: Begin some food detox. Start planning what to eat ahead of time so we can avoid going to restaurants regularly.

Results: We ate healthy today. I felt good about it. Did really accomplish the planning part of it all...

Day 30 - Saturday, July 31st

Challenge: Use the gift certificates we got from the wedding instead of feeling the need to save them for who knows when.

Results: We got a new set of bedding which we love. It changes the look of things which is kind of nice. After a slight panic attack of misplacing one gift card, we did locate it, and now have more to look forward to as we have just a little more left to spend.

Day 29 - Friday, July 30th

Challenge: Put together our video and photos from the trip on a DVD.

Results: It took all day, and I am not totally happy with the product, but it did get done. It is nice to show people as it is a lot more interesting that paging through a couple hundred (or thousand) photos).

Europe Pictures

2010-08-05T14:05:00.002-05:00

More pictures from our trip....

Click here

Across the Atlantic and Back

2010-08-04T10:06:00.011-05:00

Time to catch up. There is tons to say about the trip. We came home with tons of stories, memories, pictures, and videos. It is impossible to say it all, but throughout the trip we wrote down our "highlight of the day." I think that's what I'll record here. Ya I can do that.

My daily challenge took a bit of a different approach on the trip. I didn't start each day out with a challenge to accomplish. Instead I looked back on my day and identified the most challenging part. Maybe this is cheating, but I created the rules, so I see it as fair play.

I've only touched on what we saw, what we did, and what we experienced. Maybe I'll write in more detail later.

I put this in a presentation format as it beats waiting for all the pictures to upload directly into this post.

The Waiting Game

2010-07-10T18:05:00.002-05:00

Fight 1, of what will ultimately be a 7 flight journey, was a success. We have spent the majority of today sitting and waiitng...but the end is in sight. Sort of. The day in Toronto has actually been more relaxing that I expected. We did some walking, figuring, reading, and got some good food. Both of us are ready to get the show on the road....

Till the next time...

Another

2010-07-09T19:13:00.002-05:00

We got to see one more video before taking off...I love them all! I can't say enough about how much we appreciate Sean from A Moving Picture Studios has done for us! He captured our day and our memories will be forever preserved.

Wedding Highlights

One last challenge before we go...

2010-07-09T17:02:00.001-05:00

Day 8 - Friday, July 9, 2010

Challenge: Trust what I have arranged for the trip and don't spend all day checking, re-checking, and re-re checking all the details.

Results: I only checked that we had what we needed (tickets, passes, etc.) once.

22 Hours...

2010-07-09T11:03:00.003-05:00

Our European getaway begins in 22 hours. I'm nervous and excited. It is going to be amazing to get away and begin this new chapter of our life with a whirlwind tour. I keep thinking back to everything Sean and I have done in the few short years we've been together...I never thought I'd be this lucky.

"Challenge" update...

Day 5 - July 6th, 2010

Challenge: When spending the evening with the beautiful Callie I WILL NOT hand her off as soon as she starts crying. I will find a way to make her stop.

Results: Another challenge accomplished. I managed to stay relaxed and after some time she quieted right down and fell asleep. Wow is she adorable.

Day 6 - July 7th, 2010

Challenge: Be a domestic wife and make something new for Sean for supper. Requirements: It must be somewhat nutritious and light.

Results: The bread turn out wonderfully (thank you bread machine), the salad was refreshing, and the soup...well...it was HOT. I wasn't going to settle for another pot of bland soup, so after making my own seasoning mix I decided to deviate from the recipe and add 5 times as much as was called for. Maybe I should have had more faith in the power of this particular spice mix. My courage to alter a recipe left both our mouths burning, but after some serious diluting I managed to bring it down to a tolerable heat.

Day 7 - July 8th, 2010

Challenge: Pack. Remember to stick to the essentials because you only have one backpack in which to stow things.

Results: After reducing my load at least 3 times I managed to get the zipper closed. A few modifications will be needed today to ensure I have at least a little space for some small purchases. There are benefits to being a man with no hair...all he needs to pack is a bar of soap. I am pretty low maintence, but those few key items do take up some precious space!

Time to check, and re-check my list to make sure I have all the essentials.

Wedding Teaser and Photoshoot

2010-07-05T16:59:00.006-05:00

How lucky were we to have the opportunity to have the greatest videographer ever film our wedding day?!?! We knew since our initial meeting this was gonna be good..Today we got to see a little preview from our wedding day - it's our first meeting. I love it!

Check it out:

First Meeting

Photoshoot

Day 4 - July 5th, 2010

Challenge: To go through today without having chocolate!

Results: Despite a trip to the city and passing Marble Slab Creamery a few times I was successful.

Hitched

2010-07-04T19:10:00.005-05:00

8 days. Depending on the time, place, and situation 8 days feels differently to everybody. Anticipation can make time drag. I remember that as a child the 8 days before Christmas felt like an eternity. Those last 8 days of school, just waiting for holidays, never seem to end.

Pain and hurt can make the days pass slowly. Imagine 8 days of being sick, or 8 days waiting for to hear an all important answer.

Excitement can make time pass too quickly. 8 days in Mexico wasn't anywhere near enough time. The first 8 days of being married, all of which started with a wedding, are some of the best days of your life.

I have experienced 8 days in each of these capacities and consider myself blessed in that the past 8 days have been so wonderful that they have disappeared in the blink of an eye. There is something about waking up next to Sean that gives me butterflies. Two IS better than one!

The last week of June was a little crazy BUT I managed to get everything done that needed to be done. Report cards, end of year stuff, going to Grunthal grad, and wedding. It's not surprising that the end of all the commotion has left me in a state of boredom.

Summer Challenge!

Day 1 - July 2, 2010

Challenge:
As I think of June it was a month of challenges and accomplishments. To ease the boredom I've decided to keep the challenges going. It is now 69 days till the kids are back in school. I have decided to challenge myself to do at least one thing every day that I wouldn't typically do. I will blog my daily challenges and my success (or lack of) regularly. We will see just how much I can accomplish by the time school starts again on September 8th!

Results:
Consider my first challenge accomplished. I came up with the idea and it has been the focus of my mind the two days since. Even Sean is on board giving me ideas on what I could do each day.

Day 2 - July 3, 2010

Challenge:
Tonight, as I watch UFC, I will NOT fall asleep. I have a hard time staying awake past 10:00, but today I will do whatever is necessary to take it ALL in.

Results:
I made it! My strategy was to focus on the commentary and learn the technical jargo that accompanies the sport. I have always found UFC interesting and entertaining and after tonight, maybe others will believe me because I was awake to see it ALL!

Day 3 - July 4, 2010

Challenge:
Today I will book airline tickets so we have a tentative itinerary for Europe. Booking the tickets won't be the challenge, being content with the final decision will be.

Results:
Together we have decided we will be visiting London, Dublin, Rome and Switzerland. To be perfectly honest I didn't completely pass this challenge. It took a good couple of hours to make the decision and after all was said and done I still questioned what we had done. I am not going to loose sleep over it though, and in fact, I am going to find peace in the fact that we have an idea of what our next three week entails.

66 more days. 66 more challenges

Accomplishment

2010-06-20T19:24:00.002-05:00

What a way to kick-off a week. Sean and I registered for the half-marathon a couple of weeks ago. It was something we wanted to accomplish together, and this year the opportunity was there. I knew everything was going to be okay when I saw the big smile on his face at 4:30 this morning and he was telling me how excited he was to get going. That look was reassuring. My parents were gracious enough to drive us in at 4:45 and hang around as we got it done. What a relief to cross the finish line 2 hours and 32 minutes later. We worked together, he encouraged me, and we our strides were in-sync as we crossed the finish line. I couldn't ask for our "wedding week" to start off any better. I also wouldn't have made it through the race without him.

This week will be a little crazy. Somehow I have to find a way to mark assessments, finish up reports, and do some of the fine detail Saturday. I know it will work out though, and I figure whatever doesn't get done isn't all that important. Saturday will be a good day however it turns out, and I won't let anything change that.

This will be a June I will never forget. Aside from the marathon and wedding, we have been blessed with the CUTEST, most adorable, niece. Callie Cori was born on June 3rd. We are in love with her and are excited to have the opportunity to watch her grow. Cory and Christine have taken on the parenting role with grace, dignity, and poise. That is one lucky little girl.

Think it's time to keep up the pace and get focused on the week ahead.

Happy Father's Day Dad! Thanks for all you've done, and continue to do. Can't wait to have you by my side as I walk down the isle in 6 short sleeps! Love you!

A Little Sunshine Please

2010-05-10T15:36:00.002-05:00

The bell just rung to end the school day. It was not a typical Monday. Coming to school on Monday I generally except kids to be a little chattier than the norm - they have weekend stories to share and play the "catch-up game" with their friends. Today was one of those days where we needed padded walls. The energy levels were up at 9:00 in the morning and continued through the rest of the day. I'm hoping a little sunshine will help us all settle down. I smell something funky and am now wondering where I'll find the next little rotten food surprise.

That being said I really do love my class. As quirky as they may be, they do make me smile, laugh, and question what goes on in that adolescent mind of theirs. They are naturally curious and, when channeled positively, have an energy that can light up the class.

When not occupied by school, I'm keeping busy and noticing that the days are passing by way too quickly. I feel stretched in multiple directions and never quite accomplish what I set out get done at the start of the day. On the flip side, I am learning to put things aside, realizing that the work will still be there tomorrow. By the end of June I will be a Nicholson, an aunt, and final assessments will be over and done with. The only thing on my mind will be packing for the summer trip.

We are off to Europe on July 10th. We may not be efficient wedding planners, but when we get a travel idea in our mind, we find ways to make it happen. Sean and I are both rookies when it comes to international travel. I am a rookie when it comes to being spontaneous. For 2 weeks this summer I will have practice with both. We are flying into London and will spend a week there. Our hotel and a few attractions/tours are booked. The second week we hope to experience travel by rail, see a couple different countries, and in essence, play it by ear. We will do some planning ahead of time, but really just want to take in whatever we can. Two weeks won't be a lot of time, but we will take what we can get. If we don't jump on the plane now, who knows when we will have the opportunity to in the future.

It's Monday, and as easy as it is to distract myself with trip planning, there are school matters that do need my attention. I'll get to that right now...all while keeping my fingers crossed that we see some sunshine tomorrow!

Wow...

2010-04-15T19:16:00.002-05:00

It has been a while. Things have been busy and I am sure that they won't be slowing down anytime soon. Just as soon as the week starts it seems like the next weekend is over. I haven't done anything that is anywhere near productive.

University class is over, which is a huge relief. I have never been much of a procrastinator, but apparently things change.

This is short. I am distracted and I have work to get done.

We crash when we race...

2010-02-03T18:22:00.003-06:00

January ended with a bang. The storm that hit meant 2 days of no school. Sean and I braved the blizzard conditions on Monday and walked to work. He had no choice, after his attempt to get off the driveway failed miserably. I wasn't required to attend but figured it was time that could be well spent. I was productive. I came to realize that I'd be a much more successful and purposeful teacher if I had that one day every couple weeks to plan and prepare. This window of work time meant my feedback was more meaningful, and my planning more purposeful. I felt ready for school. I was excited to have class. I had the urge to teach. The week that followed, albeit short, was great. The start of this week followed much the same trend. I am now left wondering how I can infuse that same energy and focus without an extra day's grace to do so. That balance is hard, if not impossible, to find.

We were granted with another "break" this week. This time, however, we were the students. Today was a PD day. As usual, another challenge was presented. How can I make my units, and my instruction more meaningful? More purposeful? What are the essential skills and key ideas behind what I teach? What are those "big stones" I need to consider first? Most PD days leave me feeling overwhelmed and rather incompetent. Today I left feeling somewhat inspired. This is work I can do. This is work I will continue to try and incorporate in my daily practice. This is the type of work that I will never conquer for there is always more that can be done. I love that thought because I truly love to learn.

I would consider today a success, although it got off to a shaky start. My car, apparently, wasn't up for the trip to Vita. At around St. Joesph it decided it would begin flashing indicator lights, stop heating, and cease turning. My dad came to the rescue once again, promptly arriving with a vehicle I could use to continue my venture. Turns out it was just a belt. Could have been worse.

With February upon us we have been forced to consider the wedding with a little more detail and consideration than has been the case thus far. We got our social tickets printed up. They arrived in the mail today. It's exactly 2 months away so I guess it's time to start selling those tickets. Saturday, April 3rd in Altona. Although it stresses me out, part of me is excited. Guess we will see how sales go...

February will seem like a race. The weeks ahead are full of places to be and things to get done. Time to buckle up and avoid the crash.

I just heard a bang from the kitchen...gotta go!

Video!

2010-01-21T17:53:00.003-06:00

We spent last evening with our videographer filming clips for a Save the Date video. We had a blast. 24 hours later and we were able to see the product! We love it!

The videographer (Sean Phillips of A Moving Picture Studios) created a website for us to host this, and future, videos.

http://www.melissaandsean.amovingpicturestudios.com/

A few more pictures...

2010-01-10T15:00:00.002-06:00

I finally got around to uploading a few more pictures. I followed my mom's lead and put them on a shutterfly website, www.hangingwiththemayans.shutterfly.com.

PS - I am both blessed and spoiled.

It feels like a dream

2010-01-07T15:51:00.002-06:00

After 4 long days back at school it feels like I never even had a break. I'm sure I'm not alone. The kids have the same amount of energy now as when they left. At times it overwhelms be, but I do appreciate being surround by those with energy and enthusiasm. It would be appreciated if more of that energy and enthusiasm would be directed positively.

To preserve my sanity I will try and escape to my "happy place." Mexico pictures are a good reminder of better days. In fact it doesn't even seem real. The week was exciting and high paced, yet relaxing at the same time. I'd do anything to go back.

My top fifteen moments from our trip (in no particular order):
1. Leaving cold Manitoba at 6 in the morning and arriving 5 hours later in sunny, warm, and beautiful Cancun. (Almost losing my dad to timeshare sharks shortly thereafter).
2. Walking through the hotel onto the white sand beaches and seeing the blue Caribbean Sea.
3. Listening to the tour guide at Tulum. There was a lot of talk about numbers and math. I was all ears.
4. Fascinated that I was able to wear shorts on what was being called the "coldest day of the year."
5. Snorkeling. We saw sting rays, barracudas, sea turtles, fascinating coral and lots of fish!
6. The boat ride of my life. 30 minutes of pounding waves and enormous swells. I felt fortunate to arrive at the snorkeling destination of Akumal safe and sound. The ride back wasn't much better.
7. Swimming with dolphins. I would have bought all the pictures they took if I could have afforded it. I have the memories which will last a lifetime. Wearing a bikini for the "foot push" is slightly risky.
8. Water aerobics, water polo, stretching, and the hours of walking up and down the beach and through the resort.
9. The night show at Xcaret. Unbelievable.
10. Spending the day zip lining and swimming at Xplor with Sean and my dad. The food their was awesome.
11. Being up by 7 every morning and taking time to enjoy breakfast. Mmmm waffles.
12. The sunset cruise on our last evening. And yes, I was risky enough to try lobster.
13. Watching the spray can painter work his magic.
14. Spending the day at Xel-Ha with Sean and my mom. Jumping off of cliffs, tubing, snorkelling, and swimming through underwater caves.
15. Having the chance to cross at least 4 things off my "bucket list" and being blessed with the opportunity to do so with Sean, my mom, and my dad. There was nobody better to share that experience with.

Engagement Photos

2009-12-29T18:28:00.004-06:00

We had our engagement photos taken at the end of October. We both consider ourselves to be rather unphotogenic, but were very pleased with how these pictures turned out. That in itself says wonders about the photographer we have hired. Kara of kara rhea Photography has been a pleasure to work with. We appreciate her laid back personality which allowed us to be ourselves. We received a cd with 112 photos and are having a very difficult time choosing our favourite. Here is a glimpse into our day.

Create a Free Slideshow

Dolphins are friendly

2009-12-29T12:29:00.007-06:00

I've always wanted to swim with the dolphins. In 1993 when we visited West Edmonton Mall I got picked to "shake" the dolphin's flipper. Given the chance then I would have jumped in the tank. It took 16 years, but I finally got an opportunity to do just that. It was worth the wait.

The video was made in a hurry. I had to reduce the quality in order to maintain a file size within the limit. When I have more time I'll make a more polished copy.

A White Sand Christmas!

2009-12-29T11:20:00.003-06:00

Make a Smilebox slideshow

4 more sleeps...sorta

2009-12-15T20:15:00.002-06:00

At last the holidays are in sight. Me...the kids in my class...well we could all benefit from a break. After tomorrow I feel that the days will be manageable. Long but manageable. It's too bad I'm left to entertain myself the rest of the evenings this week. That's the story of winter thus far. You'd think I'd be used to it by now. Maybe by the time March rolls around...

I don't think I'll get around to packing. The itch to do so hasn't hit me yet. I think there is too much other stuff to think about.

I've been rather uninspired lately. However, I did finish up a university paper today. I feel much better about this one than the last. I am not a procrastinator when it comes to assignments, and waiting till the LAST day, almost the LAST hour on the previous assignment was more than I could handle.

I have no fun pictures to post as getting out of the house is a rather rare occasion. I suspect I will have more to post before the holidays come to an end.

It's been a long day, I'm exhausted....cold...and hungry. Time to take care of all three.

Busy!

2009-12-03T08:18:00.002-06:00

Sometimes I'm unsure of whether I'm here or there, coming or leaving, caught up or behind. The mornings come too fast, the days sometimes drag on too long, and the evenings to unwind are few and far between.

Just 16 sleeps till we head south. At last a getaway.

Hard Work

2009-11-03T19:43:00.003-06:00

Relationships require hard work. My natural tendency is to avoid relationships, especially with those around my age or older. Relationships with kids and students has always seemed to come easier for me. My experience as of late, however, is that even these relationships are requiring more work than I'm used to. Something must be wrong with me.

I consciously approach each new day as a fresh start. I continue to train myself to learn from "mini disasters" , release my frustrations, and come to class the next day with a fresh and positive outlook. I am beginning to realize that some days, despite the most noble of intentions, are going to remain a struggle from beginning to end. I still believe my actions have a lot to do with the dynamics in the class, but in order to sleep at night I have to convince myself that I did the best that I could do AT THE TIME any of the incidents did arise. There are almost always things I would change after the fact, but the moment I made each individual decision I did so with the best interest of the class in mind. I tell myself this often, but fail to believe. Something must be wrong with me.

I'm not a wedding person. It takes significant prodding for me to talk about the wedding let alone actually think that I will plan one. I have yet to tell a person face to face that I am getting married without first being asked. Does this mean I don't want to be married? Absolutely not. It simply means that something must be wrong with me. I am looking forward to being married, but I'm not into talking about, or bringing attention to the matter. (The ironic thing is that now I'm writing about it. But I'd rather write than talk).

I am selfish, unable to share my excitement of the wedding with others, and have allowed my short comings to ruin bonds between friends that were once strong. I feel as though I give nothing and take everything. I can't fathom why anyone would so much as want to marry me.

Students in my class have been working on writing memoirs. As I read I generate a list of "next steps" each student can take to revise their draft. I got to thinking that I needed my own list of "next steps." I decided that step one was to push myself out of my comfort zone and prove, through words and actions, that I am excited to get married. I convinced myself that writing it on this lonely blog page could be considered a proclamation.

I think writing this makes me vulnerable. People may think I'm writing to convince myself that I am excited. I trust that you will believe me when I say that is not the case at all. What hurts the most is knowing that I don't the ability to express all those wonderful feelings of excitement that are inside. It's not fair for Sean. It's not fair for me. I need to believe that I deserve to embrace and enjoy this moment.

Everyday I struggle with decisions regarding what to teach, what to say, what to eat, and what to spend my time doing. The one thing I have never struggled with is my decision to get married. As a chronic second-guesser, if there was any decision I was completely confident in, it would be the decision to get married. I know this because when my day is bad I can't wait to get home and see Sean because my day will become brighter. When my day is great I can't wait to be home and see Sean because I know we will enjoy it together. In a life that seems to get rough and bumpy, I am forever grateful for Sean and my family to lean on to get me through.

Another one bites the dust...

2009-10-26T19:19:00.003-05:00

Another month behind us. The hectic season has begun and I'm beginning to feel the effects. I'm not sure if it's a good thing that the calendar seems to be flipping pages at the blink of an eye. Part of me thinks June will be here before I realize and then I'll scrambling to get things accomplished. Could be a scary time...

School continues to be a struggle. The adjustment hasn't been the most flawless of tasks. Every day I'm presented with an equally difficult challenge and each day I leave with an outlook that is tinted with frustration. If one class is successful the next seems to be a disaster. Unfortunately at the end of the day it's those disasters that seem to stay clung to my mind. I need to find a way to focus on those successes, small as they may be. It's possible...but I have to work at it. Short week after short week, although refreshing, proves to be quite the struggle. It just so happens that, for the most part, a "good" day is followed by an extended weekend, leaving the same footwork to be done the following Monday. It will get better as the year goes on...I believe it will.

School life is normally hectic. It's the evening and weekend busyness that make for a difficult adjustment. There aren't too many spare evenings, perhaps one or two a week, to get out, relax, and enjoy company. It has taken me some time, but I've now accepted the schedule for the next few months will be crazy. This just means there is more "me" time that I can use to focus on being a teacher, a student, and hopefully a better person. Spring will be a welcome sight.

I am set to board a plane for the first time in my life on December 19th. My parents (too kind) are taking us to Mexico. I don't know what to expect, but I am looking forward to it. What a great way to start off the holidays. It's nice to have that destination stored in the back of my mind, as sometimes knowing there is a break in sight makes the present more tolerable and enjoyable.

As far as this weekend goes, not only is it halloween, but it's picture day on Saturday. The camera hates me. It could be a very interesting turn out.

Time to unwind.

A spare minute

2009-09-27T20:28:00.002-05:00

It's about time I get around to this. Unfortunately I only have 10 minutes....Dinner:Impossible starts at 9, and I must have that hour of tv if I have any hope of shutting of my mind before bed.

The last few weeks have passed in somewhat of a hurricane fashion. I've felt like I've been on the go a lot. It has been quite the adjustment and a lot has happened. Let me try and do what I can to keep this brief and to the point.

What the past month has taught me:

Living in the same town as where you teach has its perks. It takes 4 and a half minutes to reach school and if I really need to escape during noon hour, the option is there.
Living in the same town as where you teach has its downfalls. I visit my classroom 7 days a week and can't seem to escape the world of school. When I think I've had enough I pass kids on the bike ride home and am forced to smile and pretend my day was just "awesome."
Teaching is demanding. I demand a lot from myself. I feel under significant pressure.
Spending the first three afternoons in 3-way conferences with students was a wonderful way to transition into the new school year.
When I was in grade 8 I don't remember the boys being this lazy when it came to PE.
Although I thought I was capable, I accepted the fact today that I am not capable of navigating my way through this new teaching position while taking 2 university courses and still managing to preserve my sanity. I feel relieved that I now dropped one.
I miss my students from last year tremendously. They will never be replaced. No matter what people say, you can't find "those" kids in any school.
I got to watch the Grunthal girls play volleyball this weekend. It was exactly what I needed.
Our dog got put to sleep. Although I haven't lived with her for years it makes me sad.

The start of a new week opens the door for more lessons to be taught and realizations to be had. Time to have at 'er.

I'm a slug.

2009-09-04T09:06:00.003-05:00

The following passage is from the book I just finished, Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult. I am not always one to finish books, so that tells you that it must've been good. Being a teacher, as I read the passage I couldn't help but wonder how many kids have felt the same way? How many of those kids have put on a front, hid it all inside for so many years that it seems natural? I think we've all had days where we've been "there", but I'm certain "there" is where some people, and chances are students in my very own class, spend a majority of their lives.

"When I was little I used to pour salt on slugs. I liked watching them dissolve before my eyes. Cruelty is always sort of fun until you realize that something's getting hurt.
It would be one thing to be a loser if it meant no one paid attention to you, but in school, it means you're actively sought out. You're the slug, and they're holding all the salt. And they haven't developed a conscience.
There's a word we learned in social studies: schadenfreude. It's when you enjoy watching someone else suffer. The real question, though, is why? I think part of it is just self-preservation. And part of it is because a group always feels more like a group when it's banded together against an enemy. It doesn't matter if that enemy has never done anything to hurt you - you just have to pretend you hate someone even more than you hate yourself.
You know why salt works on slugs? Because it dissolves in the water that's part of a slug's skin, so the water inside its body starts to flow out. The slug dehydrates. This works with snails, too. And with leeches. And with people like me.
With any creature, really, too thin-skinned to stand up for itself."

As a new school year approaches I'll strive to be more cognicent of the slugs and those who hold the salt. Sometimes the ELA, math, and science lessons will take the back seat. What's truly important is for those who hold the salt to accept themselves and feel less inclined to use it. As for the slugs, they need to be given the opportunity to be accepted, thicken their skin, and gain the confidence needed to stand up for themselves, believing in what they truly represent.

One of those days

2009-08-20T14:34:00.002-05:00

You know that you are struggling when the trip to the dentist is the highlight of the day. That's how today started, with a visit to the dentist. It was only a year overdue and figured getting those fillings before school started was probably in my best interest. Things went smoothly and the process is essentially pain free. I always psych myself out more than necessary. The dentist is a good place for me because I focus my mind on sensation, making absolutely certain that the freezing is in full effect and my mouth is completely frozen. There is no time to worry about the future cause I'm fixated on the moment.

It was when I lost that focus that the day started to unwind. Writing this is an attempt to remain stable, keep things in perspectives, and contemplate an appropriate response to the feelings that are swirling about inside.

I feel like I have this school thing under control, but then even the smallest of unexpected events sets me off. Today that even was the damage deposit (or lack of) that I got back from my apartment. It's frustrating knowing that there are people who take advantage of situations. On a normal day, when I am capable of rational thinking, I wouldn' t have been bothered by the situation. That, however, was not the case today.

I have no reason to feel like the odds are stacked against me, yet somehow I have convinced myself otherwise. I can't bring myself to plan for school. It's a situation where I feel like I know so little that I can't even pinpoint a place to start. I then begin to avoid my fears hoping that they will magically dissipate (just like summer). I don't feel I am capable of teaching English, and two weeks is not enough time for me to learn. I have no vision of what I want my class to look like or what types of procedures are essential and effective. I am longing for that feeling of confidence, knowing that I have a grasp on something. Anything really. I wonder how long it will take to find that comfort. I wonder if somewhere inside I really do feel it, but am not letting myself see it. When I do get the courage, I check my school e-mail, and I am immediately sent into a downward spiral. As I am one of the two PE teachers they are asking for guidance as to how to prepare for health this coming year. I immediately close the message window because, once again, I'm reminded of all the things I don't know. I managed to allow myself to forget the fact that I have no clue how to teach PE, and now, I am being asked questions as to what to teach? I am the one who needs help, and lots of it. I don't want to be asked questions, I want to be given answers. I want to be at peace, if even for a little while. I want to be reassured that everything will be okay.

I want the kids in my class to grow, feel safe, and be given opportunity to step out of their own comfort zone and try something new. I want to equip the kids with the strategies necessary to face the fearful unknown and persevere (I think I can relate...). I want to build the trust that is necessary to develop meaningful relationships with these kids so we can truly enjoy, and learn from, each other.

I know...I know...it will all work out...right? My fingers are crossed.

Time to face those fears and seek guidance.

We can all use a little inspiration

2009-08-13T11:30:00.001-05:00

I have now reached the point of summer where my primary focus is on that of the new school year. Teaching a different grade level, at a new school, I find myself uncertain of how and what to feel.

My nights are filled with dreams that illuminate the stress of this transition. It is actually one of those re-occurring dreams. Here's how it plays out. It all starts with me realizing that the first day of school has magically arrived. I head to my class with no plan in mind. The desks are in lumps, I have no vision of what to do, where to go, or how to be. I muddle my way through the morning, my primary concern is to keep the kids "corralled." After being pushed to the limits, the bell rings for lunch. I then manage to hop on my bike, driving only a short distance down the road to find Green Valley School. I am put at ease seeing the kids that I have dedicated my time to over the past three years. They greet me with somewhat of a cold shoulder, as they still feel that they have been betrayed. Spending my lunch hour in my comfort zone, I then find myself peddling back at a frantic pace only to realize that I have missed that afternoon with my new class. At this point, the feeling of failure is generally enough to draw me out of my restless sleep.

It is fascinating how dreams bring to life the worries that consume my mind throughout the day. Although it leaves me feeling lost, it has encouraged me to plan for the challenge ahead. I am thinking about school. I am getting some planning done. This is one dream I am NOT going to live. I will be ready for that first day of school and when the lunch buzzer rings I will not be looking for the nearest exit.

Speaking of the first days of school, they will be different than what I have become accustomed to. For the first three days, the students will be at the school in the morning. Time will be spent establishing the homeroom procedures, and getting to know the students. Each student and his/her parent(s) have been scheduled for a 30 minute interview during the afternoon of one of those three days. This will allow us to plan and communicate our goals for each particular student. I love this idea, and I think that I Can Do It!

A few more words for thought before I head off to enjoy my lunch time cereal...

Courage to Relax

2009-08-06T10:51:00.015-05:00

After a month of limited Internet I am now connected. There were a few things I managed to accomplish that I didn't think were possible without the convenience of the Internet. The bills got paid, e-mails got read, facebook got creeped, and managed to stay somewhat up to date on the local going ons. The biggest of those challenges, however, was completing my final assignment for the distance education class I was taking (and am now done). What I realized was that using people and books as resources works equally well. Instead of turning to google at my first thought of uncertainty (of which I have many) I resorted to browsing through past assignments, PD materials, and searching my own mind. It seemed to work out. In actuality I believe the assignment was quicker (if you call 40 hours quick) than when I have access to the net. I have a tendency to get side tracked and go off on tangents. If I begin searching for lesson plan ideas on multiculturalism I end up finding all these awesome lessons that I may "potentially" use, print out the lessons, and file them in some maniacal manner. They generally end up forgotten, surfacing a few years down the road when I happen to be completing another assignment (without the luxury of the net). It's a vicious circle.

Obviously I was busy working on a paper. That, however, had to be squeezed into the spare moments of the past few weeks. The challenge came in finding those spare moments. This summer has been hectic, busy, and full of transitions. I've enjoyed every moment, even though sometimes I've forgotten to show that enjoyment. Where to begin.

The calmness of July came to an abrupt stop around the week of the 12th. I don't generally procrastinate but apparently I am not immune to the syndrome. There were a few days of frantic packing. I think my belongings reproduced since my last move as it seemed that the piles were bigger, heavier, and more plentiful. My wardrobe went through a major overhaul. I seem to collect clothes, yet wear the same thing every day. I don't get it. I am "fashionably challenged" yet the amount of clothes would make one think that I like them. Upon closer inspection one can tell that I really have no sense of style. No style is my style. If it is soft, loose, and has a hood I will give it attention. Otherwise it gets put away (with the tag) and is lucky to ever see the light of day. I acknowledged my attachment issues and managed to collect a few bags of clothes to donate.

Finally, on the 18th, we were set to move. Thanks to a handful of strong men we were able to pack up a trailer and get my belongings to the house in Altona from the apartment in Winnipeg by noon. Must have been a combination of skilled movers and organized packing. Too bad my stuff was only the beginning. The rest of the weekend was sorting through stuff from the trailer, unpacking, and then packing as we were scheduled to leave for Rockford, Illinois on Monday morning. I was determined to be unpacked and settled before leaving. Dreams don't always come true. The kitchen, bedroom, and bathrooms got organized (sort of) but the rest would have to wait till we returned. Luckily I was able to tuck the full boxes into the "office" and shut the door to alleviate some of the anxiety of clutter and chaos.

Jumping ahead a couple of weeks (to yesterday). The office finally got unpacked. It happened to be the room that took the longest. Who knew I had some many pens, pencils, markers. That really got me excited to go back-to-school shopping. However, judging by what I have I am sure I could get by a year (or a decade) without shopping school supplies. Not sure I can lay off completely. I got this shelf that is meant for a garage, but it works perfect in the office. I spent hours finding a home for all the supplies and then labelling all the bins. So fun! (make sure you look at the picture!)

It feels much better to now have a place for everything. It is beginning to feel more like home. I now have to work on the process of sharing and being accommodating. Probably one of my major struggles and downfalls. This is not "my" space, it is "our" space. I have become accustomed to living with "me." Things are different now.

The move has been time consuming. I think the worst part of the process was having to clean my apartment in the city. The cleaning day was Monday the 27th. We had just come home from our trip and I knew that I had a paper due in a week. I could hardly afford time to clean, but it had to be done. My mom came to the city with me and we shifted into high gear and got it done. Then came the inspection. I won't discuss that. It doesn't make me happy. I'm curious as to the charges that will be deducted from my damage deposit.

The trip to Rockford. The timing worked out, and it happened to be an excellent week to get away. They had some stuff to finish on the house so I was glad we were out not able to see what was going on. The trip was phenomenal. I am a planned and meticulous person, but this time was convinced to lay off the itinerary and enjoy things as they came. The only requirement was that we be in Rockford by Tuesday at 6 pm in order to watch Mamma Mia. It took courage, but surprisingly I was able to relax. All five days were amazing. A few highlights included:

Deep Dish Double Deckeroni from Old Chicago (Roseville, MN). A heart attack on a plate, but it would be great right about now.
Wisconsin is beautiful. Rolling hills, lakes, lush terrain. It was a peaceful drive, aside from the frequent downpour. One more than one occasion I visualized use going tumbling off the road deep into the ravine. The fact that we saw a car getting towed up from a ravine didn't help.
Toll bridges. A new experience for both of us. Paid our dollar and merrily went on our way.
Mamma Mia (Coronodo Theatre in Rockford). Awesome show. Even had intermission entertainment as an old woman almost jumped out of her seat when the music started. The show definitely inspired serious ABBA listening while driving.
Noah's Ark Water Park (Wisconsin Dells). This was a spur of the moment decision. The billboards lured us in. I wish I could go back. I strongly recommend watching Sponge Bob in 4D! I love water parks. I had never been scared on a water ride but that all changed after this visit.
Mall of America. It was much more pleasant this time around considering we hadn't celebrated New Year's the night before. Lots of walking, limited shopping. I learned my lesson after packing: no need to shop for clothes.
Ikea. I found the perfect combination of bookshelves for my office. Sucks that I drive a car. Renting a U-haul would have been the only way to get the goods home. Needless to say I am still seeking bookshelves.
The drive. A few scary experiences made for many laughs and memories. I learned to always wait till the GPS has acquired satellites before driving somewhere foreign. Driving the wrong way down a four-lane one way highway over a bride seeing oncoming lights isn't the most comforting feeling.

We made it back just in time for the Sunflower Festival with many stories to share. After enjoying the parade we were ready to settle in for an entertaining evening. We had a few guests that evening, which gave us the chance to catch up with Macy (Mary Poppins) and Cory.

After a week to unwind (sort of) it was time to host a grand get together with some of the students from Grunthal. I rented the pool and hosted a BBQ for those students interested in coming. After a day of prepping, which I couldn't have done without Nadine, the kids started to arrive. Either my directions weren't clear, or they got overlooked, but some students toured HUGE town of Altona for an hour and a half before reaching the intended destination. At first it may not appear as such, but these are some smart kids. They went to all lengths and exhausted all resources to get a hold of me. Although they were frustrated at the time, I think it made for some good stories. Once everyone was settled we had a BBQ and just had time to catch up. There was some DDR played (those who were late may have been lucky as they missed my SingStar performances). The unfinished basement seemed to draw interest. Apparently it is the perfect venue for spiking tennis balls at a poor victim protected by only a laundry basket. The rafters provided opportunity for chin ups. Their creativity never ceases to amaze me. I don't know what was enjoyed more, the food, or the pleasure they had from pulling all the tags and stickers from all the new stuff in our house. The house got broken in, and it couldn't have been done with a better group of people. I missed them, and will miss them come fall. The evening ended with a late swim at the pool. Climbing up the waterslide kept most of them warm enough to tolerate the below average temperatures that are seem to be par for the summer. Those kids have made my past three years a rewarding adventure. The trend continues and I owe them a huge thanks for a memorable evening!

It is that time where I need to start thinking about school. After having two days without an agenda or places to be (might be a record for this summer), I think I am ready to start thinking about the overwhelming thought of teaching grade 8 come fall. My mind needs to keep occupied. The last two days have shown me that it take more courage for me to relax than to keep busy. Unfortunately it takes a toll on those around me, as I am still learning on how to manage these frustrations in a productive manner. Focusing on school should keep things in balance.

July was a blast. Here's to August!

Waiting Patiently...

2009-08-04T15:02:00.001-05:00

Hopefully with in the next week we have the internet. I've missed it dearly. Lots to update - Can't wait. Until then I'll keep waiting...

Time

2009-07-07T15:13:00.003-05:00

The one thing that I don't deal with well is time. It's been a week since summer holidays "officially" started and I think it took a grand total of 12 hours until I found myself in a delirious state of boredom. Really there is no reason for that. I have now realized that I am surrounded by busyness, sometimes I just have to look harder to find it.

Fortunately the last 7 days have kept me hopping. Last week my parents invested a tremendous amount of time in our house by doing us the gracious favor of installing floor. The adventure started last Monday. The four of us all pitched in, but it was my dad who was the ring leader of the operation. Without him none of it would have been possible. The job came to an end on Saturday. It just adds another dimension to the house, making it all look that much more complete.

The tile has been installed, countertops put in, and the garage is being built as I sit here in the air-conditioning typing this update. Pictures can be seen in the post below. A week from now I will be frantically packing boxes and cleaning out my apartment, saying farewell to life in the city.

In between flooring shifts we did manage to sneak in a night of camping. I wasn't feeling it though. There were things that I needed to get done, and those who know me understand that I have a hard time focusing until everything is in place. One of those things was my third assignment for my distance education class. The daunting task of researching four different resources that included an Aboriginal perspective began on Friday. I'm happy to say that as of 10:00 this morning I finished the writing portion of the assignment. All that's left is some proof-reading, submitting, and keeping my fingers crossed that what I did put together was at least somewhat close to what the prof is looking for. The last of the tasks might be the biggest stretch of all!

Now let me go back in time. My teaching career at Green Valley School came to an end exactly one week ago. It didn't end without excessive tears and second-guessing on my part. In fact I'm still not done with the second guessing. I honestly mean every word when I say that I am leaving the best group of kids I have ever known. The parting words that the students left me with will never be forgotten. The memories with the students will never be forgotten. In fact, I am anxiously anticipating days ahead when I have the privilege of once again seeing the faces and visiting with the students whose company I had become accustomed to every morning, lunch hour, and afternoon. The sad realization is, that although there will be many students that I do see again, there will be some that I may never see again. For all the students I am thankful. They have opened up their lives and given me the opportunity to know the person inside. They have taught me more than I could have imagined. They are, and will be missed. New starts are exciting and healthy but visiting my new school today reminded me of what I am leaving behind.

Time to wipe my eyes.

Picture Update

2009-07-06T15:34:00.002-05:00

My contributions to flooring installation...

Tile in the entrance

No bumming around...

Tile in the bathroom

Countertop on the island

Something's Cooking...

2009-06-22T19:48:00.003-05:00

Another couple of days and more changes. Now we have cabinets. That may be the part I was looking forward to most. Can't wait to go back this week to see if there are counter tops. It's fun watching everything unwind.

The weekend was another busy one. Actually I just made it as such. I don't sit down well, never will, this weekend proved that. I love being so tired that it becomes impossible to stay awake past 9:00 in the evening.

My marking is done, except for the exam which is being written tomorrow. I'm really starting to get sad now. Especially today. I don't like leaving those kids behind and being replaced. I guess I'm possessive. I appreciate them to the point that I am really having a hard time leaving them behind. I can't believe that it's happening. I definitely deal better when it is them leaving me. Now that the tables are turned I'm having difficulty adjusting. It has to be done though.

Time to pack. It's off to Altona tomorrow. It's getting easier now that I don't have reason to be at school early. It's a welcome change. I wish I could get over feeling guilty laying in bed at the time when I used to be out on the road. I know it's okay, but for some reason have a hard time believing it.

More pictures to share!

This may have just been the highlight of my Saturday

What would I do without my dad?
Can't wait to cook!!
Can't wait to have a few drinks
Bathroom!

Progress..

2009-06-18T21:14:00.006-05:00

Last day of class tomorrow! Can't believe it. I'm not sure what to make of it just yet. I am ready for a break though.

I'm tired, and not really in the mood to write. There is color in the house, and I think it's time for a picture update. Things are moving quickly. Can't wait to see it again tomorrow.

Water in the basement

Bathroom
Paint!

So the cleaning begins...

2009-06-15T20:21:00.002-05:00

It is officially the last week of class. Only 4 days left. It is going fast, yet the days are dragging. I have kept up to date with my marking and seem to be fitting a lot in during the school day. It should make for extra time next week that I can use to pack up the stuff I have brought in over the past couple of years. I guess this is only the beginning of the packing.

I am already cringing at the thought of packing and cleaning the apartment. I don't think that there will be a spare day this summer. Slowly the days seem to be getting booked. The lists are growing and there won't be enough time to get it all done. I'll do what I can.

There was sun this last weekend. Sun and heat. It's the first time in a long while. It felt great. We got some serious biking in, watched a little ball, and kept busy. It feels good to be out and about. I am hoping for more weekends that are equally as satisfying and enjoyable.

We have stairs to the basement. I did some videotaping but I'll wait till next week to put it up. It's not exciting to anyone but me. A bunch of blank walls that have been taped, plywood floors, concrete basement, and dust. The process is fun to watch, and with every visit there are more and more changes. I'm now waiting for the paint. It will remind me which colors were chosen.

Not a whole lot else for excitement. Just doing what needs to be done to get by.

Unforgettable

2009-06-04T20:12:00.008-05:00

This last weekend was one of a kind. Truly unforgettable. Those who know, understand. Those who don't will learn in time. A time like July. I'm happy. Really happy.

The weekend was great...but also busy. Friday the rain finally let up enough to allow the house to be plunked on top the basement. I didn't get to see the process, but the pictures gave me an idea of how it all went down. It all worked out so I'll call it a success. Things are quickly beginning to take shape. There will be a lot of changes happening in the next month. I'm so excited to see it all come together.

Had the chance to have a brief visit with Cory and Christine Friday night at the campground. I don't see them enough, and it sucks. When I do get to see them I'm happy.

The pace didn't slow down much for Saturday. Was up by 5:20 a.m. on a weekend. After breakfast headed to the city. After a few stops I spent a couple hours getting pampered. Well actually just getting my hair cut, but anytime I get my scalp rubbed I feel pampered. BBQed for supper, went for some ice cream, and retired early.

Sunday was the dragon boat races. The morning was cold and chilly but all worth it. The best part is seeing how much fun the kids have. They make my job easy. They all got to the race site early, and were alert and punctual all day. What an amazing group of kids. The day was a success. It's too bad we only had 2 races. There is something special about getting a group of 22 people working together to achieve a common goal. Really Awesome.

The grade 12 boat. Look at those stylish t-shirts!

Synchronization...

I find myself trying to escape the busyness that surrounds me. I finished my first University paper the weekend of May 23rd. I was leery about it from the start. Got my mark, and wasn't impressed. I know I can do better. So my next paper is due on the 9th. I have been pushing myself all week to get it done so I don't have to worry about it on the weekend. Success was had. I finished today after school. After a few moments of relief I check my mail and find my first paper has been returned. I read the comments. The ideas of my paper were hard to follow. I guess I rambled and introduced new ideas when I should have focused on my main thoughts. That made me laugh. It's exactly what I said about it before I turned it in. I guess this means I should take extra time to make sure that my second paper is organized and easier to follow. I thought I was done.

This weekend is getaway time! I am uber excited. Tomorrow is a trip to Grand Forks for the night. I really need to get away. I want to forget about school, forget about writing papers, forget about moving, packing, and cleaning, forget about the new job. I want to get away and enjoy the day, with no worries. I finished the paper, am ready for Monday at school, and think I will be able to relax. Relax, eat, and have ice cream.

11 days of class left. The end is in sight...

The Countdown is On...

2009-05-26T19:31:00.004-05:00

The students have started a countdown on the board in my room...only 30 days till grad. Wow. That also means 8 school days until the applied math 40S exam, 18 school days until exam week, 4 days until the big DragonBoat race, and perhaps most concerning for me, is 25 school days left until I have to really face the reality that I won't be back there next year. It's a bittersweet feeling. I have shed many tears over the reality of leaving the awesome kids in that school. Although I'm excited about the opportunity for next year, part of me hurts. Those kids have been the world to me, and the thought of leaving is hard to accept. Telling them was probably harder for me than it was for them. I am excited about seeing them on the rare occasion for sporting events and whatnot, but it won't be the same. I could say a lot, but I really have to avoid getting myself all worked up. The end of the year will run high with emotions of leaving and the fear of the uncertainty ahead.

I finished my paper. It was probably my least favorite part of the weekend. Actually...it WAS the least favorite part of my weekend. I hate the feeling knowing that I've done poorly. I did what I could, but it wasn't enough. Maybe the next assignment will be less taxing. Maybe I should try and stop feeling guilty.

As far as the status of the house goes, there is not much to report. It was supposed to get moved on Friday. It got loaded up, but that's where it stayed. The soggy grounds postponed that ordeal. I want it to dry up, and not for the house so much as for my dad to be able to resume seeding. That's more important. There is not urgency for the house. I do have my apartment until the end of July. Actually, I already forgot the colors that we chose for paints. It will be a surprise to walk in! A surprise I'm looking forward to!

Here are some pictures of the most recent work:

My to do list for the summer is quite expansive. I am thinking that it will fly by as I foresee myself being rather busy. I'm going to enjoy it though. Lots of things will change in the next few months and I'm looking forward to all of them with much excitement!

Time to unwind. It was a hectic day. This pace will continue for the remaining days I'm sure. The good thing is that it makes the time go faster and the weekends come sooner.

Overwhelmed

2009-05-14T18:56:00.005-05:00

This week has been exhausting. It's one of those week where everything just piles up. I think it's a combination of having restless students who are waiting for summer, along with my own need for a long weekend. I have so much that I want to get done, and even more that I need to get down. Time for a slow down...but that won't happen for another 6 weeks. One day at a time.

I got my course materials in the mail. It came on a day I was already overwhelmed. I was excited, until I saw that the first assignment needs to be completed by May 26. I guess that gives me a week and a bit to find someone to interview and then write a 15 page paper on my insights regarding cross-cultural education. It's been a while since I've had to do that - could be an interesting transition. I'm scared.

Next Tuesday we start practice for Dragon Boat. It should be a good time - so long as it is a little warmer. I can't imagine it would be too much fun out on the water on days like today.

My mind is busy and I really have nothing to write. The real reason I even logged in was to post some pictures. The basement is dug! It's exciting! I climbed the ladder to see what I could see - and this is what I saw....

Mom's Week

2009-05-05T20:18:00.004-05:00

This week is about my mom. Aside from mother's day on Sunday, tomorrow is her birthday! Happy Birthday!

I'm sure I probably wrote some of the same words about a year ago. That goes to show that she is a pivotal and essential part of my every day. That doesn't change, it just gets stronger. The last year has been filled with curves, highs, and lows. Through it all my mom continues to be there offering support, encouragement, and her friendship, in any capacity possible. Her warm words encourage me, her expectation and standards challenge me, and her warm embraces comfort me. Her love inspires me.

My mom is a unique one. Her fascinations and infatuations with little things make me smile. Most recently it has been her dedication to the addicting world of FarmTown that has provided me with hours of entertainment. It's yet another place for us to interact while not always being able to see each other. I love it.

Mom, I love you lots, and couldn't ask for a better friend! Words don't express how thankful I am. Have a very happy blessed birthday and a wonderful mother's day!

Just this week she sent me an e-mail. With all that has been going on, it just seems appropriate. This is just a portion or an e-mail, but still the message is clear:

I pray you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I pray you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I pray you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I pray you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I pray you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I pray you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I pray you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

On a different note, well the paint issue is still stressing me. Not a major stress, but rather a "I don't know what to do" kinda stress. I'm still waiting for some grand inspiration. Maybe I'm not looking hard enough.

The school days are flying by. I believe we only have 22 more math classes left until the provincial exam. That's crazy and the deadline is pushing us to proceed at a fast pace. Soon things will slow down. Maybe.

I'm looking forward to a weekend....again. As the weather slowly begins to warm the days inside the school are getting longer and longer. Just a few more months (which will end up going way too fast!)

Time for some rest. Hump day tomorrow!

Numbers...Not Colors

2009-04-27T20:23:00.002-05:00

The best two weeks have reaffirmed the fact that I have a love for numbers, and not necessarily colors. As a matter of fact, I realized that I am color illiterate. I generally like a challenge, but trying to choose colors for this house is not a fun challenge. Come to think of it, maybe it it were COLOR by NUMBER I'd be good at it. No decisions, just follow the recipe. I like a structured set of steps. Paint, and interior decorating mumbo jumbo do NOT assimilate well with my mindset. However, I do think that I am learning. Slowly.

What a nice change this weekend. My bag didn't need to get packed and it was a weekend away from decisions (for the most part). I've seen Altona a lot the past couple of months, and a weekend away was a nice change. The nice weather allowed for some relaxing walks. The malls were graced with my presence and my kitchen got some attention after being a long stretch of being neglected.

I cooked some BBQ chicken Sandwiches on Friday night. It was quite tasty. I love new concoctions. I'm back on a smoothie kick. Consumed a couple of booster juices on the weekend and made myself a few homemade smoothies. It's the warmer weather that makes them that much better! I should try a new recipe every week.

I think it's about time to go stare at more paint colors and become utterly confused and frustrated. All while still holding on to the tiny hope that, perhaps with the click of a mouse, or out of nowhere the perfect scheme will emerge. Fingers crossed.

Thursday!!!

2009-04-16T21:07:00.002-05:00

The occasional trips to Altona have been different as of lately. The widespread flood waters have forced detours and new routes. The trips are a little less relaxing and a little more time consuming. It would be hard having to be one of the many people who have to boat to get to their property. I'm happy that all I have to worry about is find new routes. Things could always be worse.

Some exciting news. A new house! I think pretty much everyone knows already and it probably isn't because of me. Some people like to talk about such things whereas I like to keep things quiet until all the details have been worked out. Now that the papers have been signed I feel that it's appropriate to share my excitement. And I am exciting. I can share pictures. The pictures are dated, but still, they are pictures.

The past weekends have been busy making all sorts of decisions, like flooring and cabinets. It is lots of fun except for the fact that I really don't enjoy decisions. I wish that I had more time to enjoy the whole process, but it is all going so fast. I am, however, excited to see everything get put together. Excited to make the transition. The next couple of months will continue to be interesting. I'll take pictures as I learn more. Then I'll have something to share.

The past weeks in school have gone by quickly. I feel like I've been away a lot, and I really don't like that feeling. Things should settle down in the next little while. Report cards get sent out next week. I have completed my comments and a large majority of the marks. I am still in disbelief that the school year is 3/4 over already. Where does time go?

It's playoff time! My sharks are about to play in a matter of minutes. Playoff hockey is exciting, and it provides me with a guarentee that I'll have something to watch every night. It helps me relax, which is really what I need this week. Time for a slow down.

This weekend will be another exciting one. I think a majority of the decisions will be completed, and then what will I do with all my extra time (because I have soooooo much of it...). Go Sharks.

Spring Break

2009-04-06T21:22:00.003-05:00

When you get a week off, it flies by. The week started off great with a trip to Grand Forks. Watching my mom navigate through the water that had overtaken the road was priceless. She really stresses about such things. Maybe I shouldn't laugh. Well we made it safe and sound so it is a little funny.

The hotel room was stellar. I quite enjoyed the jacuzzi tub. It was relaxing. The food was heavenly. I can't wait to do it again!

The rest of the week, well it was slightly mundane. There was another lovely storm which sort of confined me on Wednesday. I made it out for lunch on Thursday. Didn't know I'd end up at a restaurant that ran out of chicken fingers just before me order. That always happens when you are craving something for a week in advance. The company was good, however, and that's the important part.

Friday I stayed busy during the day getting stuff sorted out. The day flew by. I got hungry - and then grumpy of course. I have a tendency to ruin things when I'm hungry. I got to work on that.

A week off and the stories aren't too numerous. It's crazy how much those kids add to my life. Back at school today was great. I haven't laughed that hard, or as much, as I did today. They are full of stories, and comments that never fail to make me smile. It makes coming back from a holiday that much better.

Time for some sleep. I'm tired and tomorrow will be another fun-filled day!

Cabin Fever

2009-03-26T19:31:00.003-05:00

I've had the last two days to catch up. The latest bout of winter has caused school to be cancelled the last two days. I am amazed at how much it snowed. It just kept coming down. My winter tires paid off the past few days. I did leave my apartment to run some errands and managed to be one of the lucky few who could escape the parking lot without getting caught by the fierce grip of the accumulated white stuff. I hope I didn't speak too soon - I would hate to become the victim of the parking lot drifts tomorrow morning! It was an obstacle navigating through the streets of the city. I'm relieved that I didn't have far to travel.

Tuesday when I left school I didn't bring much with me. I had plans to head to the moose game that night so I knew I would have time to work. The moose game was excellent, but then the storm began. Needless to say I've sat here the past two days without the materials that I needed in order to get ahead. That's not to say I didn't work. I've put in quite a few hours the past two days, but I just didn't get things as "complete" as I could have if I would have my books and things. But it's better than nothing, and it definitely frees up a few hours next week!

Being alone the past couple of days I've been left with ample opportunity to reflect. I went through my university papers and came across the philosophy of education paper I wrote during my last year of school. I thought about how my ideas and beliefs have changed after having taught for almost three years. I have learned a lot. I took time to write my ideas down. I think it's a good idea for a couple of reasons. First, it reminded me what I really value as a teacher, expectations I have for myself and for my students. Secondly, it gives me a goal to work towards, things to improve; a personal growth plan of sorts. Finally, it serves as a reminder of the importance that teachers play each and every day. I know I often get caught up in the small daily stresses of teaching, easily forgetting what is really important. Writing my ideas down made the big picture clear. I feel refreshed, and motivated.

Tomorrow is Friday. Hopefully the sun greets us in the morning for an enlightening start to the break. Also hope a break is in the future for all those facing potential flooding. I am lucky - high and dry. Things could be a lot worse.

Productivity

2009-03-16T20:45:00.002-05:00

Today I was productive. There was a list of things I'd been putting off...and putting off. Today it all got done. I think it all got done. Maybe I'll sleep soundly tonight. There is a good chance. It's a long time since I've felt this relief. I think my chronic head pains was probably due to the excessive thinking about everything that needed to be accomplished.

It's so warm in my apartment. It's been a long time since I've lounged in shorts and been a tad on the warm side. I love this spring weather. I certainly hope that it continues.

This weekend I remembered how much I love the little things. Little things like BACON on Sunday morning (and it tastes that much better when it is made for you), or taking a walk on a pleasant day while listening to music. Little things like watching the team you cheered for all week win the Brier. Even the little acknowledgements from others reassuring me that I'm on the right track. The smallest things can make the day that much better. The weekend left me feeling refreshed. I even got to see Cory - that's always makes things better.

Two weeks and spring break is here. I'm looking forward to the trip to Grand Forks with my mom. It's a perfect way to kick off the break. Gives me the rest of the week to get some work done, and hopefully enjoy the weather.

As for now it's time to turn on the TV. Tomorrow will be a busy day at school. We had a PD day today, and it always takes some time to get into the groove at the start of a new week. Even when I think that I am ready, more often than not, I realize that there is something that I've forgotten. The work is never done.

"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power."

Alan Cohen

2009-03-11T19:47:00.004-05:00

I would have to say March has come like a lion. It certainly feels like the dead of winter these days. I can proudly say, however, that I have made it through another winter without turning on the heat in my apartment. That is probably something that only I would be proud of. There were times this winter when I was close to having to resort to heat, but I just threw another blanket on the couch and managed to make my way through. I hope that this is the last cold spell of the season...I don't know how much more I can be tested.

A few weeks have past. I would like to think that it's been nothing but excitement but in reality it's been nothing but typical busy. We finished up basketball last weekend. I'm happy to see the season come to an end. Happy because the girls made significant improvements since the start of the season . Happy because I can now have most evenings free. This is the first week in a long time where I have been able to bring work home with me and get ahead. I don't mind spending my evenings doing school work. It's actually kind of peaceful. I've missed that the past few months.

I found myself having a really good day today. It's funny how when even the smallest things are missing for some time the days aren't quite the same. Things seem to be getting back to normal and I'm enjoying it.

Now that I have time I feel like I need to find a hobby. I need suggestions. I don't really like reading cause I feel like my mind gets enough stimulation during the day. Wish I had some sport to play...burn off some energy. When the weather gets nice I can enjoy my evenings outside. I need to find something else....I'll keep thinking about it.

Maybe if I glue my eyes open...

2009-02-26T20:51:00.002-06:00

I'm tired. It's good that the weekend is within sight. A weekend with no big plans. Just what I need. Every drive to and from school continues to be a dangerous venture as I have to actively seek ways to stay awake. Sometimes it's scary. Just sometimes though. For the most part I feel like I'm in control. I've learned a few tricks to keep the eyes from trying to sneak shut. The first, and probably safest, option is to fire off some texts. This not only gets my mind working, but it allows me to anticipate a response, therefore fighting of the drowsiness for at least a few more seconds. If I'm not texting I'm usually talking on the phone with my mom. That works well too, and it might be a little safer. Finally, I just remind myself to keep moving. I have to continually fidget to keep my attention focused on something other than my tiredness. Chewing gum works for a few minutes. I have also found that eating while driving generally works wonders.

I got through the weekend in Killarney. It was an enjoyable, but long, couple of days. The hotel wasn't exactly what you would call luxury. I may have acquired lung cancer from inhaling the second hand smoke that resonated from the sheets and 1940s furnishings. We were all startled awake at about 4:30 in the morning by a blaring car horn in a malfunctioning vehicle. This was no panic button, it was solid horn, and it was right outside our paper thin motor hotel wall. After a few long minutes of hearing the horn it was finally put to rest, only long enough however, to allow us to fall asleep before going off again about 2 hours later. I took that as I sign to get up for breakfast. Not before a shower. The towels, which also smelled of smoke, were about the size of a dish cloth and quite possibly as old as me. I hope that they were clean.

The day that followed was better than the night. The girls played their best ball of the season. They managed to pick up a win. It's a great group of kids who know how to make some less than ideal situations enjoyable. I was happy to get home Saturday night.

The weekend went too quickly. I got home Saturday night at 7, and by 7:50 was back on the road.

This week has been equally as fast paced and busy. Tonight is the first night that I've actually had a couple of hours to get stuff done around my apartment. My clothes finally got cleaned. I got some marks updated, unpacked, and then packed again.

Tomorrow is hockey in Stonewall. Game 5 of the series. Last game was quite the roller coaster. Up 4-1, then down 6-4. The goalie gets pulled and somehow they manage to score two goals in the last 58 seconds to send to overtime. They deserved to win...sort of. It was time that they got a bounce.

Time to get ready for bed. Maybe if I fall asleep early the ride tomorrow won't be as chancey. Actually, Friday's are generally good because I'm just excited that it's the weekend. Even if it means living out of a bag I quite look forward to it.

March??

2009-02-18T21:02:00.003-06:00

I don't know much. But what I do know is that I am waiting for March. I'm exhausted and I know it will only get busier before getting better. If I can make it another two weeks basketball will be done and then I can get back to the basics.

I also know that I think I went through some serious banana and nutella withdrawl the past five days. I have been home a very limited amount of time and the banana breakfast hasn't been as regular as of late. It made my morning today. It's just something I anticipate every day.

This weekend it's off to Killarney for some basketball. I could list many things I would probably rather be doing, but part of me is looking forward to the two days of ball. This season has sucked. There has been nothing but interruptions, cancellations, and limited flow. It makes it hard on the whole team. It's time for it to be done. Good thing I love those girls. They make it worth while.

I pack a lot. And then unpack just as quick. In fact today I spent 10 minute unpacking from the weekend, and then I spent another 15 minutes packing for the coming weekend. My laundry pile is growing. Wonder when I'm going to get around to that.

Yesterday was Brad Paisley. I love that man. This would be the fourth time that I've seen him in concert and it's gotten better each and every time. I wouldn't hesitate to get tickets if he came back. He is both entertaining and talented. My dad was kind of enough to come with me. I felt bad as I kept him away from a playoff hockey game. He was gracious however, and think he, much like me, enjoyed himself.

Back to the hockey game. It didn't end the way we would have hoped. It took two over time periods. I would have been a ball of nerves if I was there. That's just the way that I am. Tomorrow is game two. I will be there, and hopefully will have lots to cheer about.

I have to bath. I have a few moments to enjoy the couch before calling it quits on another day and heading to bed. This weekend will be far from slow paced and relaxing, however when such a weekend does present itself I'll be thankful!

Safe..

2009-02-10T06:23:00.002-06:00

I don't have to drive this morning and for that I am thankful. Another day to get stuff done. I do miss school though. It makes the day entertaining, and much more rewarding.

Rainy Day...in February

2009-02-09T19:59:00.002-06:00

Some rainy weather and warm temperatures arrived last night. That made the driving conditions nothing short of treacherous this morning. Travel was not advised, roads were closed, and school was cancelled. I was relieved. I dreamt about death last night and was honestly scared to be on the roads. I'm still scared to drive tomorrow. Icy roads make me anxious and I just hope that I make it without incident.

No school meant a day to get stuff done. I didn't have much school stuff home with me as I wasn't really counting on an extended weekend. However, I knew that there were things that I needed to update. It took me a while to get motivated but finally I got to it. I was ready, turned on my old computer, was going to put on my music so I could focus and found that something went wrong since the last time I'd been on. All the locations for my music was messed up. None of my songs could be found. That meant going through each song individually and finding it somewhere on my computer. My updating plans got postponed...for a good couple of hours. What might be worse is that I got through have the songs and then got some error messages. It appeared as though half my songs were lost. I swore, and panicked. I turned off my external hard drive, exited iTunes. When I turned it back on, and went back in, they magically were there again. I still have half the songs to re-locate but at least I know that they are safe...for the time being. I need to put them on my computer, as I have lost some faith in the external hard drive. Hopefully it all is okay now.

So that was my drama for today. I didn't get to spend as much time updating things as I would have wished. I need one more day in the next little while and I think all will be good. Oh I still can't believe how scared I am to drive tomorrow.

I updated my list today. My list of things that I want to accomplish. I made it longer. It's fun to just take time to think of everything you'd want to do if the opportunity presented itself. It's always fascinating to see how the list changes as time goes on. How the priority of certain things changes.

It's still raining. I am going to try and not think about the weather. This week is another busy one. So far the semester has been phenomenal. It seems more relaxed. I won't be fooled though, it is still young and there could be lots that changes. Hopefully all the changes are for the better.

This last weekend was highly relaxing. I had no plans. After a busy few weeks it was actually the ideal situation. I lived in sweat pants, ate awesome food, and enjoyed company. It may be a while before the same thing happens.

Time to relax. Wish me luck in the drive tomorrow...I'll probably need it. If I hit the ditch, I'll probably hide.

On the Go

2009-01-31T10:16:00.003-06:00

I haven't bought kleenex since I was in University, and at that time I only made the purchase because the box was neat looking. I've had to use kleenex for the past two weeks. That's the first time in a long time. I got a cold that got the best of me. I guess it was bound to happen eventually. I haven't used a lot of kleenex, as my University box is still supplying me. But considering it hadn't been touched in a few years it is getting significantly more the past few days. Actually my nose really only runs when I'm marking. I guess leaning forward, looking down, wasn't the most ideal situation for the nose. And it being exam time there was a lot of marking to be done.

The marking is now done, however. Tuesday it's on to a new semester. I feel relieved this weekend. First time I've felt that way in a while. I usually have something playing out in my mind that I try to keep buried, but this weekend I don't think that there will be any thoughts to fight. It'll be a weekend to enjoy. Monday I can get ready for my new set of classes.

I have been living out of a bag for the past few weeks. That's really not my style at all. Everything of mine has a place, and this being on the go has meant that I've had to deal with the clutter that is created from continuously packing and unpacking. It's crazy how anxious it makes me feel. It's not that I would change being busy. I like being busy. It's a good workout hauling 4 bags up the stairs on a continuous basis as well. There are benefits.

Yesterday was a strange night. I couldn't rest. Here I'm supposed to be relieved, but I failed to relax. I thought I'd fall asleep early, sleep in, and just be fully recharged. I was wrong. I couldn't fall into a sound sleep, my mind was spinning through a thought a second, and I was up before 6:00. I don't mind being up early, but it always seems to happen when I have my mind set on a long sleep. I think it happens to most of us.

Hockey game tonight. I'm ready to watch. I watched on Tuesday and that was ridiculously boring. Not a good outcome either. Today will be better...hopefully. I am looking foward to the drive to Altona. I will grab some Starbucks on my way out, plug in the iPod and enjoy the ride. I heard it was suppossed to rain. It better hold off until I get where I am going.

"Weekends are a bit like rainbows; they look good from a distance but disappear when you get up close to them. "

~John Shirley

Half-way there

2009-01-26T21:19:00.003-06:00

The school year is pretty much half over. I'm excited about that. I've been looking forward to the new semester for quite some time, and now it is only week away. There is something about a new start that is refreshing. It's not that I didn't like this last semester, but I get to teach more math next semester. I like math. Math is a friend of my brain. I looked through my university math notebook the other day. A large part of me wished I was back in school, sitting in math class. I'm disappointed that I don't remember all that stuff. I have to re-teach myself.

Life is good. Busy but good. I keep thinking of all these things that I want to do but am wondering how I'll find the time to fit them all in. When basketball is over there will be some extra time that I can use to my advantage! The prep should be less next semester since I have one less course to teach. Things are looking up.

February should be full of greatness. I need to plan a singing night, then there is the Brad Paisley concert, hockey, a trip to Killarney, and who knows what else.

I cooked soup last night. It was somewhat tasty. It's nice having the opportunity to bring something filling for lunch. I think it makes the day go faster. Cooking soup was one of those things on my list of things to do, so I guess that I am accomplishing things slowly. I currently have a craving for brownie batter, maybe that'll be the next job that I conquer.

It's almost 10, and I haven't really had much of an opportunity to turn of the brain. I'm gonna give that a go now, and hopefully get a restful night's sleep so that I can stay awake for the hockey game tomorrow night.

"Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you only have one life to live and one chance to do all the things you want to do."

Then began the song

2009-01-16T20:24:00.005-06:00

At Long Last

2009-01-13T21:55:00.002-06:00

Ah a moment to myself. Back to school has been busy. I miss holidays. These past two weeks have been hectic but enjoyable. It is such an adjustment after some time off. I think my body is used to things again, although I'm still finding it incredibly hard to keep my eyes open on the morning commute. I am just drained. I appreciate when the moments like these come. The moments where I can lay down and try to unwind. It feels good.

What I did miss about school was the kids. They make my days worthwhile. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't be there.

Days like this leave me exhausted. There are things that are frustrating, which takes it's toll. Tomorrow is a new day and a new beginning. Not every day is a good day but there is something good in every day. I just have to remind myself.

This last weekend was wonderful. I have the best family ever. A cake from Grandma. Cory and Christine were gracious enough to have me over for some celebrating on Friday. It was a great time. The food was good and so was the jello. The jello was really good. Thanks Cory. Macy was even out. That girl is awesome. I love the times we can spend together.

Saturday I got spoiled with a wonderful Olive Garden supper from my parents. Then Sunday, treated to food once again, but this time it was the greatest crepe ever from Coras. I didn't need to eat for the rest of the day. I don't deserve any of that, and I'm not sure why I'm so lucky. It's those little things that make the days special. My family does so much for me. I wish I could do so much as begin to return the favor. I owe a big thanks to all those who made the weekend awesome.

I have pictures from Saturday and videos. I will post them, but right now I have no desire to get myself off the couch to get my camera. I'll save the entertainment for next time. Now I think it's time to sleep. I've been home for a grand total of 1.5 hours today...it is probably time to savor it.

A New Year

2009-01-04T20:38:00.003-06:00

The New Year has arrived. I'm a little behind I guess. The trip to Minneapolis was great. The only downfall was the drive there. Driving 70 km/h from Fargo to Minneapolis on a sheet of ice isn't the most relaxing experience. But we made it! The hotel was fancy. I looked out of place, but it's good to pretend that you deserve luxury every now and then. There wasn't a lot of relaxing time...it was pretty much go, go go. That's how things usually are with me. I get my itinerary and follow through.

The hockey game was the highlight. I love watching hockey. NHL hockey is fantastic, and so are my Marleau and Thornton. It was unfortunate that my team ended up losing in overtime. It was a valliant effort, and honestly, San Jose really deserved to win.

So we cab to the Xcel Energy Center and then have the joys of trying to find a cab ride back. After cruising some tunnels on foot, and scouting out pay phones, we came across a willing driver who knew the way to the hotel. Most of the rest of the evening was spent at TGI Fridays. The only pictures that got taken were at the game. Boring to some, but I like them. Even saw a statue of Herb Brooks.

School tomorrow. The morning is going to come way to quickly. I am excited about seeing the kids again. I miss them. There are other things I'm not so excited about, but I'll deal and get through this transition like all the rest. A couple of weeks till the new semester.

I'm tired and no longer am making any sense. Tomorrow we have our first basketball game. We havent even really practiced but I guess we'll just take it as it comes. It'll be a long day. A long week actually. I should sleep.

Come and Gone

2008-12-28T20:12:00.007-06:00

Another Christmas has come and gone. It was a good one. I was at home from Tuesday till Saturday. That's a long time for me. I have a hard time making the adjustment from having my own space to having people around all the time. I actually get somewhat anxious. It's hard to explain. It's not that I don't like being home - I love it. I just have to learn to better adjust to change.

But let's talk Christmas. The best part of Christmas is buying people gifts. I truly love it - one of my favorite things. The morning started off wonderful...I woke up and was told I could like the bowl of brownie batter. Heavenly. I got a lot of stuff this year. I was going to take a picture of it all BUT since I already put everything away I'll just write a list of what I got instead of taking it all out once again. It was more than what I deserve, and I appreciate everything. Be ready for a long, lengthy list: Sony speakers and alarm clock for my iPod, Digital picture frame complete with pictures reminding me of some awesome times, a duffle bag, water bottle, pajamas and related, sharpie markers, pens, toilet get!, a picture of a house (thanks Cory), A "ski day", Season 3 of One Tree Hill, digital camera, camera case, wireless headset for my cell, under armour long johns, sweat pants, hoodie, presentation mouse, fire starting matches, hell's kitchen for the wii, Quelf, bath poof, memory card, bag, and dishes. My grandma got me a towel with my name stitched in - I love it. I also got some other stuff from other gatherings.

After three days of Christmas festivities, it's nice to finally have some down time. Today was actually the first time on the holidays that I've really just relaxed. It felt good. Tomorrow my mom is venturing to the city - it will be good to have company again. On Tuesday I leave for Minneapolis and am very excited. I hope the weather is favorable for driving, or I will be very sad. Get to watch the Sharks play on New Years Eve! Can't wait.

The reality that school starts again in a week makes me sad. It's going to be a busy couple of months and I just hope that I can keep it all together. I don't want to dwell on it too much now because I do have a few days to enjoy before snapping back to reality.

I owe thanks to a lot of people this Christmas. I know I'm not the easiest person to be with, but somehow there are a bunch of people who are willing to put up with me. I appreciate each and every one of them: Mom and Dad for all that they give. They would do anything for us but more importantly are there to share in our joys and lessen our worries. To Cory who always has a way of making me smile and laugh. In his own quiet way he always manages to brighten my day. Christine who is one of the best people to have fun with (even times I can't remember). Things wouldn't be the same without her. My Grandma who has the best, and funniest, insight into every situation. She entertains me and means the world to me. And to everyone else just for being there.

Time to make a packing list. I hope the weather holds out. Please.

Christmas Eve

2008-12-24T21:37:00.003-06:00

I made it till Christmas without a chocolate advent Calendar to remind me just how many days there were to go. I guess that I am growing up. I came home yesterday. It's been a busy week and I really haven't relaxed yet. But I suck at relaxing so this is for the better.

Monday I braved the bitter cold air and thick mobs of stressed shoppers to get my own Christmas shopping finished. A major part of being able to enjoy shopping at this time of year is taking plenty of time to mentally prepare for the stresses that I knew that I would encounter. I didn't set time frames on any errand as I knew that there were many factors that were changeable. Despite traffic jams in the parking lots, turning lights that are too short, and long walks in the frosty temperatures, I was able to enjoy myself. I was successful and it really got me more excited for Christmas. It was a day-long event and the evening was spent wrapping. Wrapping is always enjoyable though. It's systematic, and I like systems.

Yesterday I loaded up my car, which took more than a handful of trips, and headed home. I was treated to supper from my wonderful parents and then proceeded to the arena to watch Cory play hockey. The game was stressing, but like always, I coped and enjoyed myself.

Today I was greeted in the morning with a lovely migraine. They seem to make themselves known during the times when I finally take time to unwind. Holidays wouldn't really be complete without a pounding head. I don't mind though. It serves as a reminder to relax. A migraine is the worst of my health worries, meaning I have it amazingly good. After a healthy sleep I went to town with my mom to finish up some grocery shopping.

I decided I would cook supper this Christmas Eve. Tradition used to have it that Cory and I would make pizza on Christmas Eve. That was long ago, when home was the only place he had to be. I miss those times, but change is okay. We have grown up, I guess that happens. The food has become more sophisticated too. I made some wrapped chicken with vegetable fried rice. Me and my dad had Garlic and Cheese Hot dip with flat bread for an appetizer. Yum. It turned out. There are two good things about cooking at home. First, there are people for which I can cook. Second, there is someone to wash the dishes. That makes the whole job that much more enjoyable. We just finished playing Wizard. I lost. I hate losing, but I guess I can really only do better next time.

As I sit at home and complain about being bored I am reminded that bored is a good thing. I really appreciate having now worries. I have my family with me who have shown me what it is like to be cared and loved for. We are healthy, able to laugh, and enjoy one anothers company. I know that there are people who aren't able to enjoy Christmas because of the situations they are forced to deal with. Time is precious and shouldn't be taken for granted. I hope for a moment of peace and hope for all those people who are dealing with unfavorable situations. As I greet Christmas morning with smiles and anticipation, I realize that there are many who will not.

I'm tired now. I think I need to sleep. Tomorrow is Christmas. Crazy how fast it comes and goes. At least I'll have pictures to post, and maybe some video footage. Should be a relaxing day. Merry Christmas to All and to All a Good Night!

Like a kid

2008-12-21T21:13:00.002-06:00

I get excited for Christmas. Just like a kid. I am already having a hard time sleeping. Well that's partly due to excitement and partly due to my ignorant neighbours. It appears as though they have left for the weekend...or longer...yet they have their alarm set. The past two mornings it has gone off at 6:50 and has continue to pulse loudly until about 7:30. I have never heard it before, but it sure makes sleeping in hard. Hopefully it doesn't stay like this for the entirety of the holidays. I would then do some balcony hopping to break in and turn it off.

I found the Grinch movie. Actually it turns out it was at Blockbuster AND Zellers, I just overlooked it. I guess I'm not as observant as I would like to think. I watched it though, and it was worth the hunt and frustration.

Tomorrow I'm off to the mall to hopefully put an end to the Christmas shopping. I am disappointed with my lack of preparation this year. I have two days to pull it all together. I have a list now though, which should aid in my search.

Laughing is fun. Except when your oblique muscles are injured. I'm pretty sure that's an after effect from the slip on the Zellers parking lot. Larry the Cable Guy is funny. Here's some Christmas cheer.

I made it.

2008-12-19T20:11:00.002-06:00

It appears that I made it till Christmas holidays. I'm ecstatic. I managed to finish ALL my marking before I left. I also ensured that I was ready for the up and coming math units. That takes a huge load off of me for the holidays. Perhaps this means I'll have time to enjoy the next two weeks. When we get back, its three weeks left in the semester and then finals. Im so ready for that change. Things are looking good.

I'm sitting here in the dark, listening to my music, and sipping on a white chocolate mocha. It's relaxing and refreshing at the same time. This morning I had this craving to watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas. After school I ventured out to Blockbuster, but was unsuccessful in my search. I also made my way to Zellers, another video store, and a different Blockbuster. Again, no positive results. I love that movie. Im going to find it and I must watch it before Christmas.

I feel like a criminal. Last weekend was what it was. I knew I didn't pay my tab and it's been nagging at me all week. Finally today I got the news that they too realized I didn't pay my tab. Good thing I have such a caring brother to take care of such things for me. It was completely unintentional, I just feel like such a tool. Next time I'll put a down payment before entering. Not a bad plan.

Just because the holidays are here, doesn't mean that my "To-Do" lists have ended. As a matter of fact I have a holiday "To-Do" list. I have yet to finish my Christmas shopping. I need to wrap gifts. I need to go through my closet and part with the clothes that no longer fit. I need to get pictures printed and then put them in albums. I thought of something else today as I was walking through Zellers, but at the time, can't remember what that was. Think..think...think. Nope, it's not coming to me.

Well I'm going to crawl under my electric blanket and let my mind unwind. I played some serious Dutch Blitz today in school and my arm actually hurts. Then as I was walking into Zellers I was inches away from landing on my ass in front of the store. My body managed to contort in a way that enabled me to stay on my feet, but my back now hurts. The couch and heat should feel good. I'll even build a fire. Tonight will be a pressure free sleep. I'm looking forward to it.

And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more. ~Dr. Seuss

Craziness

2008-12-17T22:14:00.003-06:00

This was supposed to happen about 2 days ago. I'm late in posting, and am tired. I think I've been on the go since the start of last week. There hasn't been much down time, well a little on Sunday, but I felt like shit so that doesn't count. I haven't watched prime time television in about 2 weeks. I miss it. I'm going to do that come holidays.

So my brother had another birthday. I guess that happens once a year. I remember this time last year. Some things seem exactly the same as they did then. He's still one of the most important people to me. If I had to choose one person that I knew I could have fun with, I know that he would be the one. He makes me laugh, smile, and find the joy that sometimes seems to be missing. No matter what he goes through or is dealing with, he still makes sure that those around him are taken care of. I appreciate his willingness to listen to my rambles. He always has the words that make things seem a little bit better. We've created our share of good times the last year. He's proven to be quite the singer, especially in the comfort of his own home. I look for a performance in the near future. I'm sure I could speak for a lot of people when I say that Cory has been nothing but a great friend to me. He deserves nothing but the best, cause he has been the best. Happy Birthday Bro! Cheers to you!

We were able to celebrate the birthday Saturday night. They were supposed to play hockey, but it got postponed due to inclement weather. Not sure that was a good thing. We may have had too much time to celebrate. I think I may have celebrated too much. I've had some good times in the past while, but Id venture to say this may have topped them all. The pictures were a good reminder of the night's events. And a video made an appearance. I'll keep that under wraps though.

I had so many clever things to say, but alas, I forget them all. We have a short basketball practice tomorrow but hopefully the evening leaves some time for me. I think I'd like that. Goodnight.

It's Cold Outside...and Inside

2008-12-07T21:28:00.003-06:00

Can you believe that this is the first year I haven't had a chocolate countdown calendar in a long long time. For as many years as I can remember, I've had my chocolate calendar...but not this year. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure that my parents don't have a Christmas tree yet...hmm...if someone reads this...please get a tree!! Even if it means putting up the fake one! Christmas wouldn't be the same...

The weekend went by at a rapid pace. I managed to stay busy once again. Between hockey games and shopping there wasn't a whole lot of spare time. I just realized I have two weekends left to shop, and this weekend probably won't work. I might be looking for stuff Christmas Eve - which really isn't like me at all.

Speaking of the weekend, I was reminded that negativity is dangerous disease. It causes headaches. I don't like to hear constant complaining. I often complain (especially when leaving the land of rules), but I try to do a lot of it internally. I swear and cuss in my mind. Not everybody needs to be brought down when I am battling a bad attitude. Apparently some people don't care about such. They like to think and believe the worst. Those people don't realize that they are taking up precious time from those around them.

Speaking of precious time, I feel like I don't have enough. (Oh man, here I just talked about negativity and complaining...but that's really all I'm doing now. I'll try to change the tone). Now that basketball has started I won't have as many evenings to myself and my work. I never finish what I intend. Just tonight, for example, I had to kick myself in the ass and force myself to spend an hour marking before I lay on the couch. I didn't get far enough. I suppose that it will all work out. It always does.

Speaking of asses, I know of a few. Not many though, and for that I'm thankful!

Speaking of thankful, I'm happy that there are only 8 school days left till the holidays. A break will be good. Christmas will be good. Time to sleep in, be in sweats all day long, and stay up late if I so desire. I could never forget about my New Years date with Thornton and Marleau.

Speaking of sweats, I'm happy that I own a few pairs. I am too stubborn to turn on the heat and they are one of my primary sources of warmth. That and blankets. On special occasions I even light candles to get some heat that way. I love that I could warm the place up with the flick of a switch, but that I've set my mind up to have no heat and refuse to cave in.

Speaking of caving in, I think it's time for me to rest.

2008-12-03T19:24:00.006-06:00

The concert last night was quite fantastic. I enjoyed myself...and the music. My camera doesn't work well under those conditions, but I still took pictures. Here's the least junky of the bunch...

13 days

2008-12-02T16:59:00.003-06:00

13 school days left till the holidays. I can make it?!? . Actually I'm not too sure but I'll keep trying to fool myself into believing. One day at a time.

I'll get ready to go to the concert tonight. I really have work to get done, but I guess that can wait another day. This is one of those times to try and enjoy myself. I've got my hoody on - I'm ready to roll. I'll even be brave and take my camera - maybe I'll have pictures to post. It's time.

On a positive note - the basketball game for next Wednesday got cancelled! That means we'll actually be able to have more than one practice before our first game. And we need practice.

A day to relax..

2008-11-29T18:19:00.002-06:00

It's been a while since I've been at home for a whole day with nowhere to go and nothing to do. Today is one of those days, and I'm loving it. I fully intended to wake up and drive to Steinbach to watch the boys wildcard game, but when I woke up it was already too late for me to leave so I decided to allow the body to get a complete rest. It felt rather good. I'd like to know the outcome though. I know that there are some grade 12s on the team who really wanted nothing more than to have a chance to play next weekend.

I didn't sit at home all day. I went to the mall to browse for ideas for my Christmas list. That wasn't the most relaxing event of the day. I don't mind crowded malls. What bothers me more is driving around looking for parking spots. I'm not even picky and don't mind walking from the farthest point, but even so, parking spaces were a hot commodity and were incredibly hard to find. After a cruise down through the mall I had generated enough ideas to make a beneficial list. A list that is long enough that I have no idea what I'll really get. I'm still such a child when it comes to Christmas. In my younger years, when I used to count presents to make sure I had more than Cory, my dad started to use the numbering system. He no longer put names on the gifts, just numbers, and then kept a master list. This way I couldn't count ahead of time. I've grown up considerably since then (sort of) but still insist that my dad uses the numbering system. There are some things that I never want to change. I love the element of surprise. Oh wow, this all makes me sound completely selfish, but in all honesty, shopping for others, and trying to come up with creative ideas, is equally as fun for me. I do like giving.

I also don't understand what possess people to take the Walmart shopping carts into the mall itself. I understand why parents with babies in a car seat do it, and old people who need assistance walking, but I don't get why people take those big carts into the crowded hallways that are full of a frenzy of people who are obviously on a mission. What's worse is when they take their carts into stores like Stokes, which have narrow hallways and limited room to begin with.

I went grocery shopping today too and had more cart issues. I am very conscious of my cart placement when I shop - but of course I would think about those things. When I am in an isle and am stopped looking at or for something, I push my cart up as close to the same side of the isle as possible. I don't understand the people who park their cart perpendicular to the isles creating a mini traffic jam and are oblivious to the hold up. It annoys me. It's all about cart etiquette.

My apartment is getting cold. I'm too stubborn to turn on the heat. After typing the past few paragraphs I can feel the coldness nipping at my fingers. My nose is probably worst. Noses take a long time to warm up too. I need to get some split wood so that I can have a fire. That'd be cozy.

Tonight Cory and the rest of the maroons (which isn't many) are playing in Notre Dame. I opted against going as that's a long venture to make on my own. I thought it'd be best if I stay in. It's been a while since I've had a normal sleep on a Saturday night. In fact I think this will be the first Saturday in 4 weeks where I actually sleep during the night. It's probably good to the do that before the start of a full 5 day week. I'll get my hockey fill during the holidays.

Basketball will start this week. We have our first game on the 10th. Maybe I should just play. That's what I'd like to do.

Alright, time to find some blankets and warm up the nose. It'll be a night filled with tv I'm sure.

Went broke believing that the simple should be hard

2008-11-24T19:54:00.003-06:00

I don't have long. I just finished marking math tests and One Tree Hill starts in approximately 6 minutes. It's about a month till Christmas. Crazy. What might be crazier is that I don't even have a list made. I am the queen of lists, and usually write my first draft in October. I should get on that. Maybe tonight if I manage to stay awake.

I had a pretty great weekend. Met Art. He is probably over the age of 50, has soft hands and loves to dance. Me and Christine learned that he is a B-E-A-uty. You don't meet people like that every day. I think I even knocked the glasses off of his head, and he just smiled and continued to enjoy himself. Overall the weekend was good company and good times. I realized how much I do love Olive Garden, and want to go back soon. It's just one of those places that you go to when you are content waiting an hour before being seated. I didn't even order an entree....but next time I will. I won't eat all day just so I can indulge excessively.

Okay, time for my show.

Success

2008-11-21T06:17:00.001-06:00

This morning I got an e-mail allowing me to re-download the missing song from yesterday. That made me happy!

It's Not OK

2008-11-20T20:03:00.004-06:00

The best part of this week is probably the fact that about 2 minutes I bought the Zac Brown album. Now I have 14 new songs to occupy me as I travel to hockey games. Most think my sense of music is, to put it plainly, lame. But it makes me smile, and lately there isn't much that can make me do that. I'll stick to my lame music.

Well my music was a good thing while it lasted. I download music directly onto my iTouch and for some reason it disconnected in the process of downloading, so one song got lost in transit. I paid for it and can't find it anywhere. Life is unfair sometimes - and it was a good song too. Shoot. I sent my problem report - they better fix it!

Something just isn't right. I am stuck in a rut. I don't know why it's bothering me so much. I've spent most of the past 3 years in a rut. I should be comfortable in this place by now. I'm not. It just gets to me every once in a while, and I guess this would be one such occasion. I need a change. I find my days challenging. Probably more challenging now than they have ever been, but I am longing for something different. I would never change what I am doing, that part is okay. I just need something new. Something different. It's hard to explain. I don't understand it and I don't expect that anybody else would. Maybe I don't take enough chances. Maybe I overlook opportunities that are staring me in the face. Maybe I am really scared about change. Maybe one day I'll figure it out.

I feel like continuing with the bitching. I'm really tired of getting up early, but the days when I don't have to, I still get up early as I feel guilty for doing nothing. I'm tired of the poor drivers that put the well being of my car at stake on nearly every trip I make. It's depressing coming home every day to an empty place, but probably good because that way my complaining doesn't drag others down. I'm tired of smiling and pretending that everything really is okay (even though most of the time it is.) I wish I didn't spend my Sunday's worrying about the week to come, and that I didn't need to spend my Saturday's dwelling on the week that's past. I love living by my routine but wish that I was forced to abandon it more often. It scares me that I have trained myself to become numb to many issues that surround me. I miss the feeling of truly getting excited for something. It would be good if I didn't wake up on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday thinking that it's Friday. It makes for a long week. I don't like the fact that I get fixated on small issues that I have no control over - like being bothered about the music issue that I mentioned above. I'm tired of rushing and rushing until life is no fun, not enjoying the little things and always having a plethora of thoughts running through my overactive mind.

As much as I moan and gripe things are probably pretty good. Even though I've lost some of my drive to wake up in the morning, I do find myself smiling, genuinely smiling, often throughout the day. If it weren't for those kids there would be a piece of me missing. They are the motivation that I need to get me through the day. They are the reason why, deep down, I know that I'm doing what I should be doing. My last two weekends have been some of the best in a long while. I've truly enjoyed myself. It hasn't exactly been cheap, but once again, that would be my own flawed decision making. I have a feeling this Saturday will match up nicely. Maybe a chance to forget all that's gone on....even if just for an evening.

The only reason I'm still awake is because I had a hot chocolate this evening. I am physically and mentally exhausted and know that tomorrow being Friday is a blessing. I think I can handle one more day. I'm ready for a break.

Chicken Fried

2008-11-11T18:44:00.002-06:00

My teeth are gone and I feel a lot better than I did a week ago. All went smoothly with the extraction. The last thing I remember is them strapping the blood pressure cuff onto my leg. I woke up and it was all over. My mouth has been sore for the past week. I swallowed a stitch on Monday. My stomach took a beating. Just as a suspected, the drugs didn't sit well with me. But I'm happy that it's done. My mouth feels so empty now, but it is also a lot more comfortable.

It's been a long weekend. Well sort of. Yesterday was a busy day at school. Fortunately I got all my marks finished before 8 in the morning. I did not get as much school stuff done during the day as I was wishing, but I seldom do. I'm getting used to the idea of never being done.

This weekend was actually quite enjoyable. I went home to watch the first Maroons game of the year. I gotta say that I really wasn't expecting a whole lot. However, they won, and did so convincingly. Cory played really good the first period and then I think the lack of conditioning caught up with him. I'm looking forward to see how things go next Saturday. It's good that I actually have something that gets me out of my apartment. I wish I had other things sometimes, but I know, that's my own doing. After the game my folks joined me at Chico's. Quite fun, and they even lasted till past midnight. It was kind of them to join me. On Sunday we drove into the city and had a delicious lunch at Mongos. I think my Dad quite enjoyed the experience as he was making plans for the next time we could go.

Today I cleaned, and realized that I am no vacuum repair specialist. I cleaned my vacuum a few weeks back and today put it back together. All was swell. I vacuumed my place and after I finished I noticed that the cleaner was full of dust. I also noticed that the whole place smelled dusty. Upon closer inspection I realized that I forgot to attach the hose, and therefor I was stirring up dust and really collecting nothing. I think I got most of it on the second time around.

I have had plenty of time to think this weekend. I have weaved a web of complex thoughts and ideas that I'm not sure I know how to sort out. Hard to explain, really. Maybe I'll be able to explain them later, but right now I'll try and forget about it all and watch 90210.